slfcare

after it has been new, scary and uncomfortable, it’s going to be okay. isn’t that what we’re doing it for?

When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.

the very first step of getting over your fears is to have them. just like the first step to getting better is being worse than you wish you were, and the first step to becoming who you want to be is being who you are. don’t let your shame back you into a corner. you can only grow from here.

I had to practice my writing, so here’s my new uquiz: I’ll give you a good memory in exchange for a bad one. At the end, you get a little tiny story I’ve written just for you. I hope it comforts you ♡︎

this made lots of people cry in the past four years. should I make another one now that we’re all older (and I’m hopefully a better writer)?

I’ve started chanting “I’m so safe, it’s kinda strange” to myself when I’m in scary situations, like having to cross a busy intersection on my bike or walking home in the dark, because leaving it at “I’m safe” never quite worked for me (and this almost rhymes, so I don’t forget). I’m so safe that anyone who knew just how safe I am would think it’s strange. And I’m so safe that it’s a little unbelievable! And I’m so safe that filmmakers would fight over who’d get to make a documentary on just how safe I am. If you tend to get afraid of these types of things easily, maybe this little chant could help you, too. You’re so safe, it’s kinda strange.

When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.

deep down, you know how you want to be treated. how you want to be loved, respected, listened to and considered. but since that’s all inside of you, you cannot expect others to advocate for you in that area or to read your mind. if you feel like your needs aren’t being recognized, practice communicating them. if you feel like your needs aren’t being met, practice advocating for them. and if you feel like your needs aren’t being respected, it’s not the environment or relationship for you.

seeing my 'failures' as redirections has brought me so much peace about the things I thought I 'missed out on' in life. sometimes, you just don't know what you're being protected from—or what you're being set up for—until you can look back from a new vantage point. all you can do is trust that clarity will come when the time is right. and it will.

the very first step of getting over your fears is to have them. just like the first step to getting better is being worse than you wish you were, and the first step to becoming who you want to be is being who you are. don’t let your shame back you into a corner. you can only grow from here.

look at life as less of a race and more of a stroll. you get to set the pace. you get to plan your route. you can divert from the path sometimes, maybe even abandon your previous one altogether. you don’t have to keep up with those in front of you or slow down for those behind you – where they are has nothing to do with you. when you get tired, you can rest, and when you feel energized you can speed up. in any way, it’s a walk you’re on. and it’s your walk to be on. how you get through it and how you accommodate yourself and who you link arms with is up to you.

How something feels isn’t always how something is. Sometimes what feels like the end of the world is just the end of an era, and what feels impossible is just difficult, and what feels like betrayal is just miscommunication. One of the most important things you’ll learn in life is to not limit the world to your perception of it.