All My Feelings I Cant Express IRL

The only coping mechanism I have for a broken heart is convincing myself I don’t care right before it breaks. After so many different situations while I was growing up, I managed to discover that if I convince myself that I don’t care or it doesn’t matter, that’s the best way to protect myself. Nobody can hurt me if I don’t give a fuck. But at the same time it comes back to haunt me because it now means I don’t have the ability to care. As soon as I start caring my brain goes you don’t care, if you care you’ll get hurt. 0/10 do not recommend

Don’t know why I always ruin everything and anything

I hate that other people have the ability to effect the way I view myself and make me feel worthless. Put me in a bad mood. Impact my self esteem

Don’t you love it when, right as you start feeling semi-decent about yourself, something happens and it takes you right back to when you completely hated yourself and everything you did. Now it’s 10 times worse because you don’t know what’s real or right anymore

I’ve decided to stop lying to myself and admit that I want to be loved but now I feel 10000000% more lonely, it’s not the right time for me but I want it to be

I think I’ve figured out what I actually want to do in life, but now I’m already in a course and now that I know I don’t want to be doing this it’s becoming harder and harder to find the motivation to do the study, when I could be working and making money

I don’t know who I am if I’m not sad, insecure and insufferable. I’m afraid to find out

How can you feel lonely in a house full of people (about 9)?

I really don’t feel like I’m a human. I don’t know what I was made to do but it certainly wasn’t this. There isn’t anywhere I belong. Not even in my family. So ready to give up but I’m too much of a coward.

I thought I was getting better about this kinda stuff but tonight more than ever I think I’m a waste of space and it’d be better off if I was not around anymore

My brain is progressively getting more in the way of my day to day life. I question every single little thing and I always get a negative response from myself.

It has been such a long day im so over it

I swear I don’t belong on this planet. I don’t do well with human things

Love that feeling where you think your thoughts are stupid and don’t make sense then you try and talk about it with someone else and they make you feel even more unreasonable and then you’re just stuck in your thoughts and anxiety and get even more ridiculous

I just realized that everything I do or do not do is because I’m worried about what people will think, how it will effect others, or all the negatives that may come about. It’s never about what I truely want or need.

I am more often than not now finding myself doing things just to fill the time, not because I want to be doing them. The problem is, the things I want to do, I need other people to do with me but no one else wants to hang out with me, and as an introvert hanging out with people is completely exhausting.

So I finally got a job... but now I just spend all my spare time thinking about how shit I am at it