#insecurities

Anyways, I'm just feeling like I've written a bunch of posts in the last little while. And I just wanted to know if anyone's seen them yet. Because I'm beginning to get a bit insecure, and my nerves about getting to sleep tonight are also really flaring up too. So yeah, I hope people see all the posts I've written today. I'd also still be open to ideas about things to do tonight, because I want to try and relax my mind later tonight. And into also worried about tomorrow, because it's apparently supposed to rain all day tomorrow. And rain and storms really scare me and hurt my nerves. So that's just freaking great. Just freaking great. sigh...

The Long Haul of Insecurity

We call it a luxury holiday when we endure a brutal, sixteen-hour flight, failing to realize we are not traveling toward pleasure, but merely running away from the fear of looking left behind

It does not matter whether we censor ourselves or give in to impulses. The most important in every regard is to think first and desire second. At least to try. The real tragedy of flying sixteen hours to Australia is that it is rarely a genuine, lighthearted whim. It is not even a matter of internal censorship keeping you back. Most likely, you are flying there simply because your colleagues did, driven by a compulsive need to keep up with the Joneses. This is nothing more than dragging your insecurities and low self-esteem across the world in the hope that flying 10 kilometers above the ground will boost your self-esteem.

The fundamental question is how to distinguish an irresponsible caprice from a desperate attempt to compensate for personal insecurities. We frequently mistake our deep-seated social anxieties for personal frivolity. This is the exact definition of stupidity: a total lack of basic awareness regarding why you do what you do.

Here’s the list of my mutuals: @ihauntmyhouse @thewordsmith3 @snapcandle @c00c00pig @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaries @southernfreakinggothic @demigod-jack-hearth @beauty-queen-official @molovesbooks @billybatsonmylove @irish-agender-moss @munchkinmarauder @dougielombax @one-of-batmans-orphans @ace-looking-4-parkingspace @supersonicdp @ltwharfy

@ligaments-08 @spiritbox713 @drksanctuary @berf-a-smurf @bacon-bitch @demigoddumbass @cosmo-autistic-version @a-field-of-dragonflowers @sparkysaurus @that-lego-frog @ashes-of-a-giftedkid-burnout @svnvfhcrmcs @anomymous2

But since I've been insecure about my posts being seen lately, I almost wonder if my methods of tagging people are the problem. It might be that people have blocked me for being annoying. It might be that people are busy, too busy perhaps to notice my tags. But I can't be sure, so I worry it's me. So tell me: if I format my tags like this, do you think more people will see them:

Here’s the list of my mutuals: @ihauntmyhouse @thewordsmith3 @snapcandle @c00c00pig @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaries @southernfreakinggothic @demigod-jack-hearth @beauty-queen-official

@molovesbooks @billybatsonmylove @irish-agender-moss @munchkinmarauder @dougielombax @one-of-batmans-orphans @ace-looking-4-parkingspace @supersonicdp @ltwharfy

@ligaments-08 @spiritbox713 @drksanctuary @berf-a-smurf @bacon-bitch @demigoddumbass @cosmo-autistic-version @a-field-of-dragonflowers

@sparkysaurus @that-lego-frog @ashes-of-a-giftedkid-burnout @svnvfhcrmcs @anomymous2

I never played the Pokemon anime with my dad today. I imagine I'll play it with him again tomorrow. I made some posts about it a while back, and I don't know if those posts ever got attention. So I think I'm going to boost those now.

I'm still insecure about my posts being seen. I'm still insecure about that! I've made at least 50+ posts in the past week. Have any of them been seen!? Considering I get probably one note an hour (if that) and often mainly for my old posts, I would say no! My vents haven't been seen. And I really shouldn't care, but I can let myself get worked up until I do care. And I just...gods, I'm unhappy.