#over it

I am going to lead this with certain caveats so everyone understands the situation, my decisions as an artist, and why I am taking this as seriously as I am.

If you have ever come into conflicts that invade beyond the personal and encroach upon a matter of possible legality and financial aspects, you know that you must put your needs first to protect yourself, your intellectual properties and business. Being passive does not keep the lights on or food on the table, and everyone knows what it’s like to be silently struggling or constantly doubting themselves to make the right choice.

No one wants to be the person to make hard decisions or ones that conflicts with your beliefs; I have a personality to always approach first with kindness and understanding, giving the benefit of doubt even at times when I’m the one hurt or being taken advantage of. So I want to address this in full clarity and still remain true to my values.

So here are the caveats:

I am a grown adult, I’ve been with my partner for a decade, I have worked professional positions to resolve conflicts. I am not the person to jump to conclusions, I am capable of critically thinking that extend outside of emotional reactions or personal biases. All of this to say: I do not pass judgments or decisions on a whim.

While coincidences happen, ignoring red flags only leads to you getting hurt and taken advantage of. It’s why the benefit of doubt can be turned into a weapon by the wrong people against those who hold it as a value or belief system. (this is true regardless of if the person was aware or not taking when advantage it. Common phrase you’ll hear is, “Oh but she’s so nice! If it was a problem she’d tell me” It works on assumptions due to an individual’s personality, shifts the responsibility of mutual understanding on to the person being taken advantage of, and omits the ‘aggressor’ of any tangible acknowledgment of their own actions or its affects on others. It isn’t always malicious intent, but ignorance can be just as damaging.)

I have come to my own conclusions and decisions as an artist while trying to start a business while ill. What’s best for me isn’t up for debate or speculation. This is my livelihood and rapport with future clients. I’m setting the precedent here and now: anyone who interacts with me in a monetary aspect either by commissioning or otherwise can expect it to be handled as a business exchange. There will be a TOS and written agreements to protect both the artist and ensure quality of service to the client. That said, if you scam, steal, or copy my work, ESPECIALLY with an intent for personal financial gains, I will also handle it like a business.

With all this covered, I stress this final point: WE NEVER HARASS OR BULLY PEOPLE. This is NEVER acceptable behaviors. People may have hurt us, but we don’t EVER stoop to lower levels that could endanger a real individual. We block, we move on. This is to inform and bring awareness to you as individuals on this platform and members in the Victor Gideon community. If this happened to me, it can happen to other artists or from someone else; this is so you can make your own choices and be aware of problems that run deeper than this single event.

I encourage everyone here who reads this to make their own choices and decisions. Who you follow and give money to is your business. I will not tell you what to do or think. I have no desire to infringe upon an individual’s agency of free thought. The only thing I’m presenting here is what’s been going on, how it has impacted my business, and why these concerns are beyond me personally and this event.

So let’s fall down this rabbit hole together and start with an overview:

I wanted to believe that a project I’d begun to spend so much time on planning and dedication to wasn’t being poached and riding on my coattails; that it had been just a poorly time coincidence and maybe with everything else going on in my personal life it just served as a catalyst. I wanted to have that benefit of doubt and be the bigger person, do on to others as you would for yourself. So imagine my surprise when turns out, I had it right the first time.

Now, maybe at the start it had just been a coincidence, days after following my posts format and desire to find the largest product size available isn’t unusual. Such small things didn’t and couldn’t really mean anything (again with the benefit of the doubt). So here’s where the rubber meets the road:

It had been confirmed this person doesn’t follow me, totally fair and fine, so naturally they wouldn’t know me, my art, or planned projects; one of the admins asked them if they were aware of the similarities, they said no and they only come to the space once in a while and that was the end.

After, I made a post explaining my feelings, my life’s situation, my plans going forward and trying to uphold a positive attitude for supporting other artists despite feeling wronged in someway. I never wanted to ask or approach them personally as I feared how it would come off, I held a position as an active Admin at the time. I didn’t want that influence or bias to shift the neutrality. So I handed that responsibility to the other Admins, as well as having them bring on mods to balance internal leadership and decisions that affect the community. I removed myself for the sake of someone who doesn’t follow me or knows my work to give them a genuine chance for their product without my presence influencing the space they’re promoting it in.

Now, I’m not a popular account by any means, I’m small peanuts. My work isn’t booming so I don’t expect everyone to recognize it. It was a safe assumption that I am not on this persons radar in anyway, they never contacted me after the admins initially talked to them, not after I made my posts explaining my situation, nothing. Never have they left comments or nothing.

So why does a person who doesn’t know me or my work suddenly making the NSFW side of their body pillow like one of my drawings? Asking about adding Heart Boxers? They even went as far as to add stud nip piercings, those weren’t on the original post of the front of the pillow.

I am the only artist I have seen on Tumblr, X, Insta, and Bluesky to have made this design WITH HEARTBOXERS AND STUD NIP PIERCINGS, I even talked about making merch with this one specifically well back in May-June AND STILL MAKE JOKES ABOUT THAT DRAWING.

If you don’t know me or my work then what is this?

Making a body pillow isn’t the problem, adding heart boxers and piercing isn’t the problem. The principle of scrapping from a fellow artist who is struggling physically and financially without any nod to their efforts or work is the fucking problem.

I have always given credit where it's due. If I have use a person's screenshot as a reference, if I've drawn something of an AU, or had been inspired, I tag them, I talk to them, I don’t just use their work/content as a given commodity . Hell I've asked permission from other artists if it's okay to draw from their work. It's the bare minimum of manners and common curiosity.

And I am doing my damn best every day to make and produce, fasting for 8 hours to go get massive amounts of blood drawn isn't fucking fun. But I have to, and I still have to work, and do daily tasks. LIFE DOESN'T STOP. Being chronically ill makes me have to work 3x as hard to get where others go with easy. That's for everything, including me trying to get work as an artist!

Had ANY of this been done with acknowledgment to me, my work as an artist, or other I would have felt differently. If someone approached me and asked if they could use inspiration from my work or as a reference that's more than fine with me. And people already have!

But this person didn't. And what hurts more is I've done every damn thing in my power to up lift other artists trying to make it in the space. So when a person only comes to the space I HELPED BUILD to solicit for personal financial gains without respect to who made the damn space and without any real intentions to engage with the other members or creators, ON TOP OF IT ALL?

I am insulted. As a an artist, as business owner, and as a member of a community I hold dearly.

Just because folks wanted a body pillow does not give anyone the damn right to treat them like cash cows. These are the people that hold you up, that support and root for you! They deserve respect and appreciation, why the fuck do you think I wanted to make this project in the first place? I wanted them to lead this project and have the honor of bringing their vision to life! It was to have something tangible for a group in a space I care about and hold dearly. So screw it, I’M MAKING THE DAMN PILLOW and I will take my time to make it everything and more. I won’t let this infringe upon my wants to give back to a community I love.

If you only come to the space to sell, not even caring to whom, and stepping other artists along the way? I’ve seen what I’ve needed to see.

I have blocked this person, both of their accounts. Do with this what you will, I won’t tell you what to think, feel, or who to give money to. This serves as a warning to other creators, both large and small, because this behavior is dime a dozen no matter what space you're in. Protect yourselves, your art, and those whom you love and support.

Playing the devils advocate one last time, because the ghost of Orpheus puppets doubts within myself to look back. Let’s say they genuinely did not know even after the admins reached out, even after they were made aware of my presence, how similar the approach was while I was building moment for it, or they are just young and learning. To which I say this: All actions have consequences regardless if you are aware, oblivious or just don’t care. If it looks like you’re being shady or disrespectful, people are going to assume that you are. If none of these things have ever been a concern for you navigating a business or being a fellow artist, then let this be the learning lesson. You are an adult in a space with adults, you are expected to know basic concepts of courtesies.

I have to protect my own interests as far as my art, business, and health goes (I’ve been delayed deadlines because of this shit, which costs me time and money IRL, so it’s quite literally robbing me to deal with this) I sure as shit have already spent to much time on this, because you guessed it, I give a fucking damn.

I care and worry about smaller creators getting taken advantage of and not having a voice to advocate for themselves. While I might be gathering a small following, I fear others who have encountered similar issues don't have support like I do. So much so that after this, I made a shout out post to highlight some of the fantastic creators out there! I’ll link it back here after I get everything up, as stupid as this has been, I refuse to give in to hopelessness. I still want to uplift fellow creators and individuals that do so much for the space and are just all around amazing people. Y’all are more than a dollar sign, and I will do anything to help others or see to they get the credit they deserve.

As for this individual in the community space? It’s out of my hands, I want zero influence on whatever decision is made between leadership. My job is to throw pizza parties and offer smut writing prompts~ So that said, @falsevacuum @junkkey @scorchcake Whatever y’all decide is best for the community as a whole, I’ll honor it. I said that I want to be left out of it to ensure neutrality, and that’s what I intend to do.

I love you all, this has been so dumb and taken hours of my time, I've said what I needed to say and won't be answering questions or anything rn. I'm moving on and rendering Victor Gideon as the bottom he truly is, a wanton sub in a suit, and folks? That's what the journeys about🙏 The world needs more pathetic larger men whimpering and blushing, and by God I'm gonna give the people what they want😤

Here's the link to the shout out post, for as whack as this has been, we're gonna boost some positivity gosh darn it!