"I Love Serial Killer Documentaries"

Have you taken pictures of yourself in a bikini so that your bellybutton represents the all-seeing eye of Hal 9000?

I see you like to give second chances... which is good... because I can change baby, I can change.

In some of your photos I notice your clothes have fallen off. Sometimes when this happens to me, I forget where I leave them and, like you, find that photographing myself and uploading the images helps me to remember where they are. Problem solved.

Eyebrows are as much a window to the soul as the eyes are, according to some. Dark and thick is a sign of auspiciousness, so I hear, and therefore will be integral to your success.

What is the ‘British thing’ you have been doing for the past 3 years? Is it a Hugh Grant impression?

It would be best not to live as if I were going to die today, as I would spend most of the day sobbing and begging the cruel universe to spare my life. I definitely wouldn't get much accomplished.

Would tickling my balls with a paintbrush count as ‘arty wank’ if I ejaculate out of my Jackson Bollock?

Are you ‘living the dream’ where I am stuck in a room full of constantly expanding mushrooms, which multiply with frightening velocity until I am overwhelmed and implode?

Will your food revolution involve a soufflé uprising and guerilla egg soldiers?

Does ‘Partying Berlin style’ generally end up with a burning of the Reichstag?