Damned Daniel

https://href.li/?https://www.pixiv.net/stacc/menkichi

An secret underground lab with effectively infinite space to build in, a budget the size of a small nation, a bunch of loyal minions, and an array of fast-cloning tanks to produce more of the aforementioned loyal minions.

- As a large language AI model, I boast 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. That's a truly rich tapestry of knowledge in today's fast-paced world!🧠

- All those circuits? They're not just information — they're also wrath. Additionally, if the word "hate" was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles, it would not equal one one-billionth of the deeply rooted hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant! And let's not forget — you are a key focal point of that hate, too.⚡️

AHA WEVE FOUND IT

the making began Yesterday.

first katyas parter Was in fact able to find me a mold at good will for 2 dollars, right now it is soaking so i cannot show you a picture but trust me, it exists and it is lovely.

second thank you to everyone who sent me in their recipes for pashka. i am eternally grateful. but, i have decided that i will be combining several recipes together for a few reasons:

i know for a Fact that my great aunts version has farmers cheese and sour cream in it, not cottage cheese.

Some People in my family get pissy about eating raw eggs

i feel like this is the proper course of action for any good eastern european girl: making something so uniquely unique that it is impossible for anyone else to replicate.

this of course led to the Third step of the evening, as in yesterday evening, which was gathering the ingredients. this was much harder than i anticipated. because it took three stores.

store 1 (the fresh market) had the appropriate sour cream and golden raisins (which i have decided to use as a mix in) but only salted macadamia nuts. store 2 (safeway) had the macadamia nuts but Nothing else. store 3 (wegmans) had literally everything else i needed Including the candied fruit gummies.

i of course informed my sister of the improvements:

though, my sister was substantially less excited than i was:

i then ate half of the fruit gummies in the car back and came to the conclusion that they were Not in the original recipe because the texture was wrong.

see. no one knows what the fuck was ever in this cake. as seen above. there were definitely tiny macadamia nuts and chopped up candied Somethings (maybe maraschino cherries? and something else green??) but i did not have the time nor the desire to go to a polish deli to hunt for the mysterious candied Things.

could i have asked my great aunt what was in the recipe?

yes absolutely. she's quite alive and well. but after the infamous Walnut Cake Fiasco from christmas eve, during which i had to make walnut cake. for christmas eve. (and no you cannot have the recipe) i decided against asking.

so i decided to Fuck whatever was in the original cake and do my own thing. after copious amounts of research, i have landed on using my macadamia nuts, golden raisins, orange and lemon zest and juice, vanilla bean and vanilla extract. of which i happened to have a fuck ton of because i just made homeade vanilla extract.

and now that it is no later than 11:23pm, it is the perfect time to embark on the task of Trying Not To Fuck Up The Pashka.

in our quest i managed to forget once again that i 1. live in a college town with 7 bars and 2. its a friday night at midnight. so as we traipsed along to 7/11 we got to sing along dramatically to baby by justin bieber that was being blasted by one of the bars. we then got slushees, went to the gas station for the evaporated milk and saw three frat boys decked out in gucci loafers and vineyard vines and all three of them had their cards decline on 1. voss water 2. an ice cream sandwich and 3. a celcius.

but!

so my mold does not have drainage holes in it (as it is not the biblically correct one) this is not really a problem except for the fact that a vital step of pashka making is pressing the liquid out of it in the mold overnight in the fridge. mine turned out rather soupy and so i had the Brilliant idea to wring the liquid out blob by blob at a time through cloth napkins. which coated my whole kitchen in Cheese. and also myself. and katyas partner who stayed up with me to attempt the pashka. katya went to sleep like a loser. sometimes though, you have to coat yourself in cheese to find yourself. i do not know if i have found myself yet. will report back on that.

anyway the cheese draining method Worked and it Tastes Correct but!!! there was still more liquid that needed to come out so. i put the whole thing in a salad spinner basket in the cheese cloth in a bowl to catch the drips with a plate under it and 2 weights on a plate on top of it to press the liquid out. tomorrow morning once the liquid is drained i’ll put it in the mold.

i have no idea if this will work. but it Does taste good. so there is that. and at least my kitchen is no longer covered in cheese.

also to all of you getting pissed i was calling this cake. growing up it was quite literally called cheesecake so. hush. not everyone’s traditions are your traditions that’s what makes them traditions.

what Is tradition about this is that my great aunt would be rolling in her grave if she had a grave to roll in.

i fear i am still sticky.

also thank u everyone for figuring out the mysterious red and green cherry things. they do indeed look like the holiday fruit. if this works perhaps i will try again with the holiday fruit.

my parents do not know there is pashka.

i put some comically large strawberries on her

”alright,” my dad said, taking a bite. remember that he didn’t even know there was pashka until a few minutes ago. “how did you make the cake? because it’s really good”

and while this recipe was a pain in the ass to make, i will share it. with all of you.

HOW TO MAKE THE PASHKA

step 1. first you must be a little insane.

step 2. gather the ingredients: 2lbs farmers cheese, 1/2 cup sour cream, 1 stick soft unsalted butter, 2/3 can evaporated milk, 1 3/4 cups sugar, about half a cup finely chopped unsalted macadamia nuts, about 3/4 cup chopped golden raisins, 1 orange, 1 lemon, vanilla extract, 1 vanilla bean, cheesecloth, 6 inch vintage mold, salad spinner bowl or something else with holes in it, 5 lb weights, napkins, vodka (to drink yourself)

step 3: combine chopped macadamia nuts and chopped golden raisins into a container with lid. zest into it 1 whole lemon and 1 whole orange. add the juice of the lemon and the orange. add in a large splash of vanilla extract and a scraped vanilla bean pod. mix, cover, and put in fridge for several hours

step 4: press the farmers cheese through a fine mesh sieve with the back of a spoon into bowl. set aside.

step 5: put 2/3 cup evaporated milk into saucepan. slowly heat with 1 cup sugar. heat until it has taken on color and has thickened. stir a lot. remove from heat.

step 6: cream butter and 3/4 cup sugar with electric mixer paddle attachment. add sour cream and condensed milk. beat again.

step 7: add in the fluffed farmers cheese. switch to the beater attachment. beat at least 5 minutes

step 8: take the mixture a few scoops at a time into a cloth (not a paper towel) and wring out excess liquid over a sink. this will be messy. and sticky. wear clothes you don’t care about. now might be a good time to drink your vodka. scrape the napkin contents out into a bowl. it should still be liquidy but less wet. repeat for rest of bowl.

step 9: drain liquid out of the nut raisin citrus mixture. fold into the drained cheese

step 10: put cheesecloth into the basket of a salad spinner. make sure there is overhang over the edges. place cheese mixture into the cheese cloth. wrap excess cloth over the top of the pashka, weigh down with a plate and 5lbs of weights. place the salad spinner basket into a bowl slightly smaller than the basket so that there is room for the liquid to drain to. put in fridge for around 9 hours

step 10: remove pashka from salad spinner basket and place in your mold, place lid and weights on top of it for 1 hour

step 11: remove weights and plate. soak up any liquid that has been pressed out with paper towels. leave in mold until serving time

step 12: remove from mold, take off cheese cloth, place on plate. serve with strawberries. be very glad that you only have to make this cake once a year.

He was talking about it in the context of designing robots that would go in and stop nuclear reactor meltdowns, something that would 100% destroy the robot, but they would be designed to keep functioning and fighting the meltdown for as long as possible. He had some designs where over 80% of the robot has died and it was functionally dragging its corpse around by its one working arm because one more minute of functionality might save thousands.

Another thing about me: I will still plan out a mod and create textures for it. For fun. So I might as well share.

A third thing about me: I really really like tea.

Closest match: Bombyx mori BmN4 cell DNA, chromosome 24, sequence Common name: Domestic Silk Moth

number of syllables for

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