Psyllium Husk for your Dashboard

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

also that apparently “when you get a chance” usually means “when you take a break from the thing you’re immediately doing” and not “on a list among various other things you are doing today or tomorrow”

(via ‘I Would Never Do This To You:’ Protesting Flock, Arizona Man Presents Plan to Surveil Government Officials)

On July 20, Jacob Petrosky stood in front of the Casa Grande, Arizona City Council during a public comment session and made an announcement.

“I’ve spent the last several months talking to people all over Casa Grande, and one thing keeps coming up: Safety. So, today I’m excited to announce a new company called Shepherd Safety,” he said. “Our mission is simple. Keep government officials and their families safe.” It would be no different than how the city monitors its citizens using Flock cameras, he said; he planned to launch satellites that would use AI to monitor “where government officials go, where they stop, who they meet with, and when they return home.”

He said he’d already started compiling profiles on their vehicles, spouses vehicles, children’s vehicles, and planned to combine that data with Bluetooth signals, advertising IDs, and commercial data sources, “so our authorized users can replay the movements of every government official and their immediate family,” he said. Local businesses would be invited to join the network, to “protect” officials while they shop, eat at restaurants, and move around the city.

So after much thought as to what a dolphin looked like, a giant banana with floppy banana peel dog ears, banana peel fins, and two beady black eyes hauled itself into my lap from the waters of the lake.

And I remember thinking “... Now wait... something is not quite right with this...”

I sat looking it over for a moment until I realised, “Oh I forgot a tail!” so when I looked down, the creature had a fish tail, and I was Quite Proud of how well I had recalled what a dolphin looked like from memory, and it deserved to be drawn:

a custom DNS resolver that blocks access to Fox News and other right-wing propaganda outlets

a keylogger to capture the admin password for your router so you can disable parental controls

a VPN or a virtual machine running the Tor browser to bypass access restrictions and age verification checks

your own "parental controls" browser extension, set up to send you notifications if your parents visit websites that indicate they might be spying on you (e.g. Life360)

a userscript that adds a fake virus warning popup to the donation pages of fascist political parties

have fun! make sure to do loads of reading and learn how things work so you can break them safely and effectively!