Psyllium Husk for your Dashboard

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

my entire childhood i was threatened with juvenile detention just for being a weird kid. the kids in my class would lie about me doing bad things, or be doing bad things and then i would get in trouble and my school principal said if i didnt 'show remorse' id end up in juvy. neighbors called the cops on me and my own mother wouldnt take my side. so no, i dont think prison is a valid tool for rehabilitation or justice. jail is a threat the people in power use to control us and get rid of people they dont like. get more prison abolitionist now. get more youthlib now. get more transfeminist NOW

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

Where do you think the comma goes

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

weird animals run all the time dude

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem

The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys

But what if the crabs are in a bucket that has water in it, and it’s being slowly and imperceptibly boiled?

i will never risk saying this in an actual gaming server but I don't think constantly screaming out of anger when you're playing is good

if a game is making you so angry that you have to scream, dusturbing the whole house and distressing your teammates maybe close the game and go cool your head and i mean this in the nicest most literal way possible

Oh god oh god I love turning guys on and making them hard I love seeing their dick through their pants I love tenting their boxers I love giving them a bulge in public I love it!!!!!

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

Nice splooge bro great distance

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

nobody is out of your league by the way. not everybody will be into you obviously but thats not because they're better or more valuable than you in any way its just the way things go. you never know who's gonna be into whom. there is literally no such thing as leagues.

i am 100% convinced that mobile phone/ social media bans for under 16s are an attempt to remove kids and teens from public life. this is not protecting kids this is locking them in houses with no escape from their abusers. the world is so hostile to teenagers rn

If your system doesn't account for the fact that Parents Are Going To Be Abusive/Neglectful/Insufficient then it objectively sucks I'm sorry I don't make the rules

Monitored bank accounts for those under 18. Requiring parental consent for medical procedures. Parental controls on personal devices. "We won't teach this at school because parents are supposed to address it at home." Anything that puts all of the child's power onto the parents' hand, anything that assumes parents are going to inherently do enough of a good job no one else needs to interfer, every single one of these IS going to be used by controlling, neglectful or unprepared parents and already are, and if the system did not account for that very real, tangible, dangerous tendency, then it's not worth fucking anything. You shouldn't make things "for the youth"/with children in mind if you are going to overlook this painfully common aspect of their lives u_u

when they say "for the children", almost universally they in fact actually mean "for [controlling] the children"