Cyris' chatters

JPEG Bruce Doll Heritage Post

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

@theoutcastrogue

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

We’re coming close to ten years on this puppy

i don't hide things in tags i simply allow the proletariat to determine whether it is praxis to make my statements heard.

the other reason the leprechaun shoots the king of england in the head is that, unnatural abomination against God and Fey alike or not, it's still Irish

what is a glasgow kiss even anyway ?

Survival-themed cyberpunk RPG where instead of weapons having durability, you need to purchase subscriptions for each of your weapons, which deplete based on how much damage you inflict. Hit points exist in-universe as a value calculated by your weapons' built-in biometric scanners to meter subscription usage. You can top up a weapon's subscription credits at conveniently located kiosks, or "bank" extra credits beyond a given weapon's rated capacity by carrying gift cards.

If you hurt someone by hitting them with a rock or some other non-networked object, this is a serious felony – not because of the violence, but because due to a series of obscure legal precedents, using an object with no associated weapon subscription to cause measurable harm counts as circumventing copy protection.

What about beating someone to death with a firearm? Is that considered jailbreaking?

"Oh yeah, we already invented materials that are practically invulnerable to all forms of damage. The companies started charging subscriptions on every piece of nanoweave-based clothing, armory and weaponry to keep up the scarcity. Could you imagine how much money you would cost a company if you allowed rampant piracy? No one would die!"

almost didn’t reblog this and then that last one made me start cackling like a madman

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

14/10 doing his best

every time I think about my gender I get confused so I simply stopped thinking about it. it is not my problem

JPEG Doll Heritage Post

Why does this have its own wikipedia page.

not only does it have a wikipedia page, but they actually discussed deleting it and elected to keep it because they agreed it was sufficiently notable to merit an article.

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

World Heritage Post

God forbid women do anything

This is legitimately the funniest thing ive ever seen