Heterophobic™ @autistic-michael-queerler - Tumblr Blog

El edit <3

#gonna pin this instead actually i like it better

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userlesbian

thinking about “super best friends and soulmates forever” in ii and “real best friends companions through life like actual soulmates” in big. again.

lotuspositivity

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

appleseason

are you a fascinating creature?

Yea LOL They Put Me In Test Tupes And Shit

transjudas

thank you gemma scoble

emilyymustdiee

Imagine being a casual fan and expecting a normal concert but get Gerard Ways fetish opera

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cuppydogshane

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

hyperlexichypatia

People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.

You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.

You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.

You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.

You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.

And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.

ratzinmyattic

from twitter

batbetbitbotbut

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

batbetbitbotbut

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

dawnandpiplup

“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all

fandom-man

nondelphic

writing is 10% storytelling and 90% rearranging three sentences for an hour like you're trying to solve an ancient curse

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what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom

hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

switchblade-dragon

Hey yeah so this post literally kept me alive for like 6 months. Thank you. And OP is so right. Everyone on this island became my best friends. And guess what? Now they can't wait to meet *you* and they talk about you every single day.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown breakfast

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

who on earth is out there waking up early to get shit done??? the purpose of waking up early is to have QUIET TIME LOUNGING IN BED before the world gets LOUD & ANNOYING AS FUCK

lesbianshepard

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

thecringeandwincefactory-deacti

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness.

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

workfornow

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

cloudfreed

I love ancient art history !!!!!

clockshunddachshund

@lowercasetrashwriter

scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat

Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.

dovewithscales

Fucking Puritanism.

Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.

rosebramblewolf

the dick sucking drinking vessel fascinates me. same kind of shit like at modern bachelorette parties. people have always been the same

maimonideznuts

Future post-plastic age archaeologist looking at bachelorette penis straws “I think these are ritual objects of a religious nature”… The resident immortal on the team trying live incognito *face contorting with effort of suppressing a cackling laugh*

thetursithan

Ah these children who always create problems for poor mothers....

purlturtle

Let's hold up traffic with mama!

hydrasplatl1ng

#i have no idea whos anime elf that is i just like the post #<- same

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emoparamore

sylvia & gerard @ madrid

g1pper

I’m allowed to block people but you’re not allowed to block me OK?

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