The Disortion Is Kinda Hot

they don't know how to read and this makes them mean and dumb. also even though their meanness and dumbness are the result of poor education, they are still personal character flaws that deserve to be mocked.

they are responsible for wide scale censorship in schools and on social media. because, as we all know, children are famously politically powerful, never want to see horny or edgy content, and love it when books are banned in their school libraries.

they love to spread misinformation around so they can all armchair diagnose each other and act like they have learning disabilities in order to excuse their laziness about doing school work. obviously they are all liars and just need to just get their acts together and grow up instead of shirking responsibility for their actions like this.

they are uniquely cruel in comparison to past generations, and this is because of Phone. and also TikTok. no one has ever been cruel like this before.

- people giving their life story to explain why they have a special secret valid trauma reason to be a reactionary tar pit

- white true crime women assuming I don’t know what it’s like to fear rape

- fascists calling me a euroslave

1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.

2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.

3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.

4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.

5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.

If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.

Then I met lots of queer people who were isolated from queer spaces for their masculinity. Nonbinary people. Butches. Trans men. Mascs.

Suddenly there were people I didn't think I was similar to expressing both an expression similar to mine and a discomfort at the type of identity being shoved on them that was being shoved on me.

I saw these wandering outlaws. These homeless identities. Like me and not like me but KIN. And it clicked.

I've had types of masculinity shoved onto me. I've had types of femininity shoved on me. I don't hate expression that's not like me, but it makes me feel insane to see cis women gatekeep womanhood until you are feminine enough and then watch trans spaces gatekeep womanhood until you are feminine enough.

I understand exactly why femininity is coveted, desired.

There are parts of it I want for myself, but not all of it. And none of it not on my own terms.

I didn't think I could see myself as a woman at all because I loathed the cage of what is expected of women, and I don't find it affirming to say "no it's okay, we are getting better at fitting inside the cage."

Femininity itself is not a cage, but the requirement that women BE feminine, and a certain type of feminine, IS. And I see that in cis women, in trans folks of a lot of genders, in the implication that the more feminine a gay man gets the closer he is to realizing he's really a woman...

He may. He could also be nonbinary. Or a really feminine man!

I do not want to be a mirror to cis society. I do not want to gauge my "success" on how well I can pretend I'm cis.

I'm not.

Passing is a goal for many. Passing is safety for many more. Passing itself is not a bad thing. But it is a tool, not a moral position.

I do not want to shave off parts of myself to suit other people. I'm genderfluid. I am both. I am neither. I'm something else entirely. And the "woman" parts of me are not contingent on how much I can be mistaken for a 4channer's dream girl. The feminine parts of me are not taken from a tradwife playbook.

I hate that nonconformity is increasingly viewed as a threat to trans safety--you are afraid we will keep you from being able to go stealth in the future. We are not why you are at risk, but sometimes you are why I am at risk.

"Non-men" I'm not cutting off my legs so you don't have to feel short.

"divine, pure, chaste, feminine" the gruff hairy dykes of various cis and trans flavors made me feel more seen that Barbie.

I don't want either of us to be deprived of feeling at home with these shortsighted labels.