Evil Scientist

this morning my coworker and I were evaluating some beans and I said ‘man these beans look pretty good’ and he was like ‘meh I’ve seen better’. top ten exchanges that have happened for thousands of years in every language ever spoken

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

got 30 ish free tangerines and they're not easy peel clementines but my lust for them is undimin is dhed. my hands are covered in juice. as is my phone. and my self. and my table. but such is the price of free tsngerone. i stopped tyoing this posy 4 time to eat anothrt tangerine

one of my kids broke his leg so his favorite recess activity now that kicking balls over the fence is off the table has been hangman, except we call it frankenstein because my teacher doesnt like calling it hangman, and its all good until he wants to take over and be the frankmaster, because a game of frankenstein (hangman) run by a kindergartner who cant spell and doesnt know all his letters is a crapshoot, except for the fact that every single time without fail his phrase is "dog eats," but he doesnt know how to spell "eats" so that part is different every time, but if he realizes youve caught on that the phrase is Dog Eats theres a 50% chance he will start improvising, and its in gods hands from there on out

Okay, "Frankenstein" is a MUCH cooler name for the game than "Hangman", and actually reflects the way it's played: you're assembling a body piece by piece, after all.

Man, I miss the days that I clarified I was not the actual CDC so that if I said something incorrect, people would know to check me. Now it's so y'all know I am not associated with that whole mess.