here for a long time and a good time

maybe i wouldnt have a laundry list of kinks if society didnt alienate me from my own body in a million different ways. but also maybe i would. whos to say

OHHHHH the phrase "go off half-cocked" refers to a gun that fires before the firing pin is fully in position. that makes sense I thought it was like. a different thing

one thing about being a suburban kid is you’re always going to crave a suburban chain restaurant despite the fact that you live in one of the foremost culinary hotspots in the US. restaurant culture be damned, my kingdom for a cheesecake factory

There was really no winning that one

how is there a home item named a vanity.. thats crazy.. doing makeup at a vanity.. crazy.. there should be other ones.. 'yeah im just setting up my conceit!' 'roommate and I are gonna go to Ikea to pick up an arrogance to put next to the dresser!'

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

10 000 dollars a day to every autistic child who grew up into an adult with a weird relationship to eating because parents can in no way be trusted to respect children's issues with food

sci fi is about one thing and one thing only.....actors throwing themselves around a room to simulate the ship being hit