if I was a professional hockey player you could not media train me enough to keep me from saying "do you wanna see the bruise??" to reporters asking about a hit I took. & then showing it to them
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need everyone to understand how scorched earth nuclear i am about to be going if this really happens. i’m still in the denial phase of grief but like. what’s that chemical warning symbol for we don’t really know what this reaction would look like but it’s gonna be bad? i need that strapped to my chest.
pass me the noah kahan you're gonna go far kid legacy cam i just made up i need a hit. banners in the rafters gordie & ted & stevie & sergei & nick (& hank) we'll all be here forever. we ain't angry at you love we'll be waiting for you love.
so i did not, in fact, just make it up. this was my deranged memory recall for things that hurt my feelings coming back up. this is from at LEAST before july 12th, 2023 and i want it back in the box it came from.
need everyone to understand how scorched earth nuclear i am about to be going if this really happens. i’m still in the denial phase of grief but like. what’s that chemical warning symbol for we don’t really know what this reaction would look like but it’s gonna be bad? i need that strapped to my chest.
pass me the noah kahan you're gonna go far kid legacy cam i just made up i need a hit. banners in the rafters gordie & ted & stevie & sergei & nick (& hank) we'll all be here forever. we ain't angry at you love we'll be waiting for you love.
need everyone to understand how scorched earth nuclear i am about to be going if this really happens. i’m still in the denial phase of grief but like. what’s that chemical warning symbol for we don’t really know what this reaction would look like but it’s gonna be bad? i need that strapped to my chest.
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going crazy in the club reading these tags comrade, the thought of Abby in the hot tub as a stand in for touch is earth-shatteringly painful. One imagines too she may not know why it's so comforting to spend hours in their hot tub over warm showers alone
💕 😭 thank you i hurt my own feelings so bad i had to set it down and walk away from it 🫡
and then i read the latest devin kelly piece on longing and made myself WORSE (more under the cut because i ripped like. almost the entire thing. but he says anything coherent i could have about abby’s longing)
idk i just think about watching the love story probably of your generation from the outside like. feet through the railings / elbows on the edge of the hot tub and it’s so. like yes we are longing but we are longing together. the interviewer asking her if she feels like a part of it!! the implication here being that of course everyone would want to be a part of them, why else would you ask, everyone wanting to know what it’s like to play with them. and yes there is still the distance between you but a little bit less lonely in knowing you’re not the only one who wants it, a wink, a nudge, a word to say look at the two of them when you already are.
i think the way that devin kelly talks about longing as if it is this physical quantity of distance makes me want to chew my arm off. as a general rule. the narrowing, the idea of longing as this arc, as the mathematical concept that at some point two parallel lines WILL at last converge to a single point, there is no infinite distance forever, the edge of the world horizon is only a matter of rotating your view. and all that to say that who among us would not lay our head down to watch mpp and laura in the kitchen getting us a glass of water, anything that we asked for, the shake that we didn’t ask for but she still said she would make, and imagine the conversations happening on the other side in the warm yellow light. ant sent me a beautiful poem that talks about the sweat from a glass of orange juice pooling on the counter that was so bright you almost couldn’t touch it and to me that’s abby coming into the house to dry off and drink the shake that mpp made her that she said she’d leave waiting because the two of them went up to bed and left her there with the door unlocked.
i think this is more to the point of abby not even knowing why she wants to be in the hot tub!! to realize that it’s not even the warmth of the hot tub she’s basking in but the ambient warmth of being around love!!!! like of course you don’t want to go home and stretch and wear out the soreness in your perfectly serviceable own bed, much as you must have done for years and years until now. [i agree that the longing doesn’t even have to be romantic truly enough said. she’s not in love with them but she is a little bit but she’s not. we all know what i mean.] you want something so badly you can’t explain what it is you want. devin kelly i am growing a thousand foot long arm to reach across the world and just to chew it off. my god you are longing.
i just feel crazy style about this because in the beginning he says that love must be some kind of impossibility and he loops it right back around to say that longing is practicing a kind of impossibility and i don’t know what that says beyond a faint ringing noise in the distance. those bells don’t have the same peal but they are in a chorus. and to know that the distance between where you are and what you want will remain!! mpp and laura stacey will always be married!! but to fill that impossible space with possible things. to crawl into their hot tub with or without them there. to make your life a kind of dream!!! and to make out of your dreams a kind of life!!! dream bigger abby!!!! the “i should” she says in reply to thinking about going to the hot tub with the cup is what is killing me in this moment -> that’s making your dreams a kind of life. i hope she did!
Trying to figure out why they are skating Sanny to death first game of the season and have concluded it is bc he is in heat so they are trying to run him out of energy so there's not a whole situation on their roadtrip. This is not omegaverse, he has caribou blood and it is rut season.
@pilots-with-faulty-engines21 oh my god I love tumblr veterinarians. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN GIVEN HIM MEDROXYPROGESTERONE ACETATE 😭😭 SKATING HIM TO DEATH WHEN THERE ARE REAL HEAT SUPPRESSANTS anyway in the animal style fuck or die that we just invented, sanny has to fuck or he'll go crazy and everyone wants to but no one is brave enough, so tk (best friend, unexamined feelings) says i will do it, since you are all so complicated. And then they have feelings....oh my god they have feelings....
And then Tocchet and Briere continue to play him 25+ minutes a night bc our defense keeps exploding.
#is this possible. does tk have to NOT fuck him so that he can be in rut and play 25 min i love creating conflict
#i also have been thinking about this for so long and while i think we have universally all agreed tk is a raccoon a beautiful trash goblin
#if we are getting freaky we may as well get cross species freaky. and for maximum freak. please hold my hand and allow me to imagine tk
#more cat-like which means he’s seasonally polyestrus and an induced ovulater which MEANS. if he doesn’t get bred he just repeatedly has
#estrus cycles. maximum terrible situation: sanny perpetual rut and tk repetitive yowling incessant bothering heat cycle that lasts forever
#because the defense is all dead so he can’t fuck sanny or it’ll fuck up their penalty kill.
#i’m not pulling out textbooks to see what type of estrus cycle raccoons have but i’m like 95% sure it’s at least seasonal so i’ll swing it.
"if tk doesn't get bred seasonally, he is in heat constantly." i waited until i was at a computer to reblog so i wouldn't feel bad about not writing an image id on a set of tags that i need everyone to know. i've crying about these tags for about 30 hours straight. i'm so humbled by your enormous brain. his recent lower body injury is because he got so horny that he attempted to matters into his own hands and it did not work. when i talk about wanting more animal transformation fic i never considered the beautiful world of internal animal biology. there are so many realities and universes open to me now. he's human on the outside. but on the inside if tk doesn't get bred seasonally, he is in heat constantly
🙂↕️🙂↕️ i am in love with this terrible vision we created for the flyers. sorry we cursed them to suffer but hey now these exist?
[for context: we think cats require some sort of manual stimulus in order for them to produce hormones necessary to ovulate. we don’t really know and tbh we’re bad at it, which is why you don’t see a lot of artificial insemination in cats. image source: bottom screenshot of video from @/antrea gifset i’m reblogging posthaste and the other two images just live in the abyss of my camera roll. this is all to say even if the nhl WANTED to stop tk from being in heat constantly. idk if they could.]
YOUR BRAIN IS SO BEAUTIFUL I HAVE BEEN MEANING TO RESPOND TO THIS FOR THREE MONTHS all of prev tags amazing. beautiful. i was reminded of this today tho because i was walking to my car for work and this guy in a private school van stopped in the middle of the street and went "miss, i don't want to scare you but there's a deer in the next yard" and i said WHAT. THIS IS A CITY?? THIS IS PHILADELPHIA?? and walked over and locked eyes with the deer who stared at me. and then dude got out of his car and we were all staring at each other like what do we do now? and then the deer ran away and the guy was like oh man, i hope it doesn't get hit, i'm gonna go find it, and i was like ???? how are you going to catch AN ALIVE DEER and then what are you going to DO WITH IT?? but he was gone and I was already late to work.
And to me this is Sanny going on a really badly timed rut (he always in a rut, they just have a two day break in the series) and going for a long run through Philadelphia to try to run from his feelings and boner for cat TK who needs manual stimulation and to be bred. um also constantly. every three weeks per your tags?? god this is how they made the playoffs I just know it. leadership core absolutely locked in 😤
to be honest. i fear all deer are simply bold and stupid esp in a city you can run two feet away and be like man i really hope you don’t have rabies or tuberculosis and that deer is thinking the exact same thing and not moving 😭 i hope that man found his deer irl and i hope rut-tormented sanny gets to manually stimulate tk in the off-season.
[me when the flyers win: tk in estrus 🙂↕️🙂↕️
me when the flyers get swept: aw man why’d they have to play the canes during the off week of his cycle 😔😔]
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the latvian reporter i follow is a real one because he knows what the people (me) want and what the people (me) want is a deep dive into the multiple members of team latvia who use abnormally long sticks
this is the article about alberts šmits. i don't know if it's funny bc it's funny or funny bc i'm reading it with google translate but some hilarious points:
šmits' is 6'3" and a dman so using a long stick is not unusual, but apparently it's SO long EVERYONE thinks its weird.
his abnormally long stick was in fact a teammate's very first impression of him.
šmits: "I've added a centimeter to it in recent years"
roberts mamčics, Man Who Nearly Got Busted At Worlds 23 For An Illegally Long Stick, was basically like 'yeah the iihf couldn't figure out how to measure my stick because measured one way it was illegal and measured another way it was fine. also i'm taller than 2m in skates but shorter than 2m without skates (players >2m tall can have a longer stick) and they couldn't figure out how to measure me either. so they let it slide' LMFAO ???
"The Milan Olympic database lists Šmits as 4 centimeters shorter than Mamčics" (does not specify in or out of skates)
as šmits is almost certainly getting drafted into the nhl, the latvian junior coach said he would have to shorten his stick to adjust to the smaller rink. smits (paraphrased): stop telling me how to live my life
"[Šmits] does not rule out the possibility that the already long stick will become even longer."
šmits: "It's still hard to say how long it will be in the end."
defenseman ralfs freibergs has tried different stick lengths in his career. "He has come to the conclusion that after long journeys it is more comfortable to play with a shorter stick."
i would love to participate in the "sleepover saturday" that you reblogged the other day. literally one of the 5 things getting me through these last days of school are thinking about all the time that I will have to answer your posts/dms from a few weeks ago aghhh. 🥰 No one else GETS the coho obsession like you. I WILL upload some of my stupid hockey-related physics tests. I almost cried when I couldn't get Porter Malone's/my little guy (who also signed early to join the Flyers but I believe has only played for the Phantoms) number into a problem on the last test. I was getting seriously distraught because I figured out a way that I could have done it (and it would have let me also shoe-horn in my goalie's number too) before I realized I needed to get a grip LOL. I did manage to shove in Baby Cheese's number though (as a radius, which means the diameter was the number of My Most Innocent Defenceman Who Never Tripped Porter Your Eyes Deceived You.) and we didn't quite get to collisions 😔so I couldn't include that trip in a problem lol.
ANYHOW uhhhh top 3 games that you have seen? top 3 favorite mascots that are NOT based on team allegiance but instead based on aesthetics. or who you think is coolest on a t-shirt.
fuck, marry, kill: bonk, bark, bump (there is a correct answer. I have a picture that I will send you - in a little bit 😝)
choose between: stonewall-goalie or bratty superstar
congrats on being done with classwork (for the time being ?) and moving on to summer stuff. I hope the transition to the new internship/research work/etc goes well!!
yay i love being bribery 🥰 hopefully you finished out the year strong!!! i will fail your physics tests (have not taken physics in. [redacted] years) but i WILL take them and have immense joy while doing so.
anyway!! sleepover answers under the cut this is the equivalent of me forcing everyone under the covers and into the pillow fort to yap
top 3 games: ok. sentimental fool time. none of these games are particularly for the Game to be fair but this was not world’s best cool dekes as a question.
the very first red wings game i ever went to irl, they beat the calgary flames 8-3 and one of my favorite pictures in the world is where larks is celebrating in front of us and i’m not even looking at him i’m turned to my nana next to me going “you called it he did it he got a shorty oh my god” because she did call it, he did do it, and that’s the summary of why i love hockey. also trevor daley flipped me a puck over the glass during warmups and i didn’t live it down for YEARS. probably still haven’t.
big ten championship win my beloved… my beautiful team stayed on the ice for like twenty minutes just screaming in tandem with us. full of love full of joy full of heart my god it was so stressful to watch. putting an asterisk to say the best i usually see them play in terms of skill is whenever we play umich (we still talk about jagger breaking ankles) but you gotta go with the big dub.
first ever pwhl game!!! we strapped my friend up with duct tape so she could give candy to her favorite goalie and we were SO CLOSE which was a surprise to me bc my friend bought the tickets and again. love joy the whole building lit up it was just so fun.
top mascots: ooooooo this is intriguing… i feel like i gotta go fishing through the echl or baseball minor league teams to be honest because those are the best. high A teams out here like the lugnuts whose mascot is a giant purple dragon with nostril rings. in the spirit of not spiraling i will keep it to nhl teams
chance the gila monster… idk what the vibes are but you GUYS he’s a LIZARD and i love lizards and also i’m pretty sure guys have owned up to being scared of him. including noted man afraid of snakes jeichel which is hilarious to me. also chance eats kids.
why did no one tell me the islanders mascot is a dragon. is this an al situation (my favorite but not included on the list because #bias) where he’s unofficial? not present at games? but like he’s clearly a person shaped suit. more dragon please!!!
denying the reptile lover allegations by giving the third spot to howler (defunct yotes) because i’m counting him technically as the kachina logo, which is dope as fuck and one of my favorite hockey sweatshirts i own
FMK: FUCK THERE’S A RIGHT ANSWER if i’m wrong it’s because of you withholding evidence. awaiting my photo patiently 🤲
bump -> marriage for the wmu connection. barkey -> killed i’m so sorry but this is solely for the appeal of bonk -> fuck for shutdown defense. sexy.*
either/or: i want to lie and say bratty superstar to give it a fighting chance but i can’t even do that to myself it’s stonewall goalie every day any day all day. the goalie is ALSO my girlfriend. like i do love a good bratty superstar, obviously, but. compelled by the spirit of the would-be defensemen i like to think i would be. goalie easy money.
and thank you!!! same to you as you finish out the year if you haven’t already (YOU’RE DONEEEEE)
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