I Like This Font

dog and snog

My yearly dog and snog post

Both look so angsty, 

This transcends languages

if I could never see another ig model again 💆🏼‍♀️ life would be good

this is what fiona apple meant when she said i resent you for presenting your life like a fucking propaganda brochure

Finally a Japanese man that gets some heat

You can tell by his wife’s face that this man fucks

Actually you can tell by this man’s paternity leave that he fucks

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

She fucking CUMS

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF

its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens

I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

everyone please tell me a lyric that made you go insane when you first heard it

i propose that “himbo” and “bimbo” are not true opposites and exist more on a four part axis and the missing other two are “herbo” (a big dumb sexy strong woman) and “himbim” (a skinny stupid pretty boy)

every time i jump my dick hits me in the face & i die

Jedi can get married now everyone else go home.

So all Anakin had to do is write a letter?

Anakin just had to do things the hard way.

Imagine if Anakin had gone to the Council and asked politely and they were just like “Yeah, okay”