ghost that everyone can see

It was strange, seeing Emmeline in James’ kitchen, and realizing it was just the two of them in the moment. Sirius didn’t know what to make of the girl, if he was honest. She was important to James, he knew that, and he knew of the horrors they’d endured together in the months they’d been captured. He knew that of which James had spoken, but that was it, because he had never really thought to approach Emmeline before. He hadn’t cared to, if he was being honest, since she wasn’t important to him. But, she was important enough to James to warrant them becoming roommates, and that was a big deal.

There was some sense of relief in the fact that Emmeline didn’t know where he was, either - at least they were on the same page regarding that. But, it didn’t sit well with Sirius that Emmeline was seemingly giving him ‘permission’ to hang out until James returned. A frown flickered across his face, and he grabbed some more crisps out to pop into his mouth. The last thing he needed was permission to be at Godric’s Hollow. The place really was a second home to Sirius, and he didn’t need Emmeline to tell him he could stay.

“I think I will. Like I said, I’ve got plans, so,” he said, words just a little sharp around the edges. He considered Emmeline for a moment, considered her words, before he leaned back against the counter, eyeing her.

Sirius was feeling a certain way about interacting with Emmeline, but he couldn’t quite place a finger on it. Unease, discomfort, awkwardness… It just didn’t feel like a great interaction, in the short moments they’d been together. But, Sirius wasn’t trying to be rude or intimidating, if that’s how his presence came off - he just didn’t know what to make of the girl or her importance to James. It was a change, and change was something that was difficult to deal with.

“How’re you liking the place?” he asked after a long moment of heavy silence, trying to make pleasantries. That was the least he could do until James returned, try to have a pleasant conversation with Emmeline. James would want that much, he thought.

~

I think I will. Sirius’s words were sharp, and Emmeline nearly winced. Emmeline couldn’t quite place Sirius’s tone, it was almost...hostile. But not. She knew that she had said the wrong thing, but she couldn’t quite figure out what it was that she had said that was so wrong, that made Sirius speak like that. She didn’t want to make a bad impression with Sirius, she knew that he was so important to James, and the thought that she was messing this all up made her nervous. 

She wanted Sirius to like her, she realized with a start. Emmeline had never thought much about Sirius and his relationship with James outside of the fact that it existed, and James and Sirius were really close. He had talked about Sirius so much in the dungeons, he had told her plenty of stories when she was at her worst. When she desperately needed a distraction from the horrors that they were going through every day. The stories made her almost feel like she knew Sirius, even though she definitely didn’t. This was the most that she had ever spoken to him. 

“Okay,” Emmeline finally said, trying to not fidget as Sirius leaned against the counter and looked at her. She was reminded of Regulus, and the way that his stare also made her incredibly uncomfortable. But she wasn’t going to run away. 

She was realizing that if she lived here, she would probably see more of Sirius, and while she could always hide in her room, she didn’t want to have to do that. So instead she stood there and looked at Sirius. She was about to open her mouth to say something, anything, to break the awkward tension in the room, when Sirius finally spoke and asked how she was liking the place. It would be an easy thing to talk about, she thought, how she was settling in. It had only been a day, but at least...it was something to talk about.

“I like it so far,” Emmeline replied. “I...was really grateful that James suggested this. My parents and sister are great...but...it was time for me to move out, I think,” Emmeline admitted. It was strange, realizing that Sirius probably knew more about what they had all gone through then a lot of the others in the Order probably knew. “Nights are still hard,” she admitted. “I’m... hoping a change will help.” 

. 

The grin on her face mellowed slightly. “Ah, well… I’m not so sure about that. But what little wisdom I do have, I’m more than happy to offer.” Emma said. 

Her heart broke a touch at Emme’s idea. It was similar to her own thought process with magnolia trees. Except Emma didn’t have months of trauma to heal from. Emma didn’t have any scars to cover. Emme did. “That will look lovely, I think.” She meant it. The gentle white flowers would suit the witch well. Hopefully they were a symbol of only peace and healing in the younger witch’s future. 

She’d been melancholic for too long. She couldn’t afford to for much longer. So Emma’s face lit up on command. “Well, lets just give those two a run for their money, shall we? Can’t have them thinking they have the upper hand just because the two of us haven’t played as much.”

~

It was easy for Emmeline to notice the way that Emma downplayed herself, and it made Emme a little sad for her. “Well, I really appreciate it.”

Emmeline wasn’t really used to opening up about what had happened to her outside of her close circle of people, but she already trusted Emma. And well, if Emma was dating Edgar then she supposed that Edgar might mention it to her at some point, so there seemed to be no harm in talking about it. “Thanks. I think that Edgar will do a great job on it,” she admitted. “He’s really talented.” Emmeline meant it, she thought that Edgar was so talented, and she hoped that other people knew that. 

She laughed and nodded her head. “I think that that’s a brilliant idea. Let’s try to surprise them with how not terrible we are.” Emmeline had her doubts if they would actually win, but that didn’t really matter. What mattered was that she was having fun with Emma and with Dirk and Edgar. She didn’t really care if they won, although it would be nice.

⟢

It all came down to being a conversation that was best suited for outside of the estate. Too many listening ears and far too many people that had managed to push his patience to its breaking point. Had he done some reflecting on the events from the day before, he would have been able to admit the Order neglecting to mention things to him wasn’t purely to blame for his realizing he was in over his head. The adult thing to do would have involved acknowledging such to the person he snapped at but he wasn’t going to get into that with Emmeline. At least, he hoped it wouldn’t have to turn into admitting more than he would usually deem necessary. Not that he was in for an easy conversation as it was.

“Just over four months,” Evan sighed. “And already testing limits if you couldn’t tell.” He made a mental note to leave Ourse in her room the next time he or Theo had company over. That or on her leash.

He pressed his lips together in an attempt at hiding the worried expression that wanted to take over. “I wasn’t sure what you would want but there’s a little bit of everything for dinner. Made Theo’s favorite of course and can already bet she will be telling me I overdid it once she is home.” It gave him something to do with his hands and that was truly all he could ask for with everything else going on. “I have some… News I guess?” Not the most eloquent way of sharing his thought but it was that or blurting everything out without a warning once they were both situated. “Too much to share via owl or patronus and not something I would have been comfortable admitting back at the estate.”

~

Emmeline had never been invited to a dinner at someone’s home all by herself before, and she wasn’t really quite sure what to do with herself. Sure, she had dinner over at James’s, but that was James. This felt very different. Very...adult. And Emmeline did not feel particularly adult right now, so it felt even stranger. But she supposed she would have to get used to doing things like this. And it wasn’t like Evan was a stranger. She had really grown to see him as a mentor, and she hoped that maybe, over time, they would be able to grow closer. Emme had been wanting to tell him that she was going forward with applying for the healer program at St. Mungo’s, so now seemed as good of a time to tell him. 

“She’s just a baby then,” Emme smiled, looking up at him as she finally knelt down next to the dog and gently petted her head with a smile. “I hear that’s what puppies do. I never had one, my parents never really liked pets. I’m moving in with James this week, and he has a cat. Which isn’t the same thing as a dog, but you know...pets.”

Standing back up, Emmeline looked at Evan, noticing the strange look on his face. Had she said the wrong thing? She bit down on her lip. “Oh, I’m not particularly picky. I’m sure whatever you made will be great. Theo isn’t home?” Emme relaxed slightly, it made her feel a bit less nervous that Theo wasn’t there at the moment. She could kind of...get comfortable before Theo showed up. “News?” Emmeline repeated, looking at him. “What kind of news?” Emme hesitated for a moment. “I guess I have news too, actually,” She mused after a moment. She figured that Evan should go first, it was his home after all. But him not being comfortable talking about it at the estate made her nervous. “Is everything okay?”

marls-mckins​:​

Dirk was quiet and weird and sulky, as per usual. He had never been able to take a joke. It wasn’t that Marlene disliked him, she barely knew him, but he had so little back bone that he took her shit lying down. Even now he had nothing to say in response. He didn’t even try to tell her to stop the way Emme did. It made Marlene feel powerful. That wasn’t a trait Marlene particularly liked about herself, or she wouldn’t if she thought about it at all. There was a kind of purposeful blind spot that Marlene had to the way she made others feel at times - one she was far away from being able to reckon with.

Emmeline was the complete opposite of Marlene. If they hadn’t ended up trapped in those dark rooms together, they would never have become friends. That was just a fact to Marlene, and it was only solidified in her mind when she heard her name said as a warning. Her eyes trained on Emme and then Dirk for a long moment as she thought about pushing on despite Emmeline’s plea, but then they dropped down into her drink. A rare surrender. 

“I didn’t realise it was so private.” It was Marlene’s turn to be sulky, taking a swig from her glass before returning her gaze to the pair. 

She did as she was told though, and changed to subject. “So, how did you two even meet?”

Marlene had a strange fascination with the pair’s relationship. With everything they had gone through she didn’t understand how Emmeline was even able to open herself up to another person like that. How was it that this innocent, seemingly weak girl was so much stronger than Marlene in so many ways? Emme was moving on, living her life in a way that Marlene preached but was never able to do herself. 

She wondered what Dirk made of the whole thing, how much he knew about Emmeline’s time captured. An icy fear seeped through her body when she realised that Emme might’ve told him things about Marlene’s experience and she had to suppress the urge to ask him how much he knew.

@dirkcresswcll​

Emmeline’s tone was a warning and Dirk glanced up at her for a moment, almost surprised. She didn’t speak up like that very often, but he knew she was so much stronger than she looked. Even so, he didn’t expect Marlene to take it. How many times back in school had Dirk asked her to just leave him alone? Sure, usually he mumbled it, eyes downcast, more a plea than an order - but Marlene McKinnon never did anything she didn’t want to do, at least in Dirk’s mind.

But she listened to Emmeline after ignoring him, dropping the subject of kissing and taking a drink from her glass. Still, Dirk felt like he couldn’t breathe easy. He knew that whatever had happened to them in those dungeons linked them together in a way he would never truly understand, so maybe Marlene would be on her best behavior if Emmeline was around, but he just couldn’t trust it.

She asked them how they met and it could’ve been an innocent question from anyone else, but the way she said - and the fact that it was her saying it - put Dirk on edge anyway. That was practically his default around Marlene since he was eleven years old. “Um,” he started lamely, feeling stupid and wishing he could talk with conviction like he’d just been doing with Emme. “The, uh, organization?” He said it like a question, though it wasn’t. He didn’t say Order out here in the open, but she would get it.

“Then we just started to, uh, see one another around… around the, um, estate.” Merlin, he sounded so stupid. He glanced up at Emmeline and then quickly away again, not wanting to see the look in her eyes when he assumed she wouldn’t get why he was being like this.

@ofemmevance​

~

Emme wasn’t sure that Marlene was actually going to listen to her when she asked her to stop, and she was filled with relief that Marlene actually listened. She had no idea what was going on with Dirk, but she could tell that something was wrong. It made her a little bit nervous, his sudden turn in mood, but she was trying to tell herself that it was nothing to do with her. Maybe he was just disappointed that somebody had crashed their date? That was her best guess to why he had suddenly changed. But she was trying to not let it bother her.

Instead she held back the urge to roll her eyes at Marlene’s sulking. She didn’t mind that Marlene had come over, but she didn’t want her to reveal just how upset Emme had been that night. Emme didn’t know why it mattered, but it did to her. Their shared trauma meant that Emmeline would always check in with Marlene, just like she did with James and Gideon. They were important people to her because of what they had gone through. But it didn’t mean that she was okay with Marlene potentially saying something that made things weird with Dirk.

She glanced at Dirk when he stumbled over his words. He was acting so...different then she was used to. But then she reminded herself that she always acted differently when she was around people that she didn’t know very well, so she figured that that was probably what was going on. Dirk and Marlene probably didn’t know each other very well. That was it, she was sure. She would have to fix that.

“It kind of...just happened,” Emmeline smiled at Dirk. “I used to um, spend a lot of time in the library at the estate, after, you know, I um, came back to the organization” Emme looked up at Marlene. “And well, Dirk came in one night, and we just started to spend a lot of time together. And one thing lead to another...and well, here we are now.”

.

Alice nodded, accepting Emmeline’s lack of understanding and taking it in stride without disappointment or annoyance. She knew people who would have reacted to that soft little “no” with exasperation, but Alice thought those folks had fuck-all business training anyone for anything. There was no sense in teaching someone something if you were going to be cross that they didn’t already know it. That was the whole point of teaching them.

So Alice scrubbed her sleeve over her stinging eyes one last time, then said simply, “You said it out loud. Telegraphed your intentions.” She gestured lightly with her wand in Emmeline’s general direction, as though halfway to throwing a hex of her own, but it was just in illustration of her point: even if Alice hadn’t known an attack was coming because she’d been the one to tell Emmeline to attack her, Emmeline would still have given her plenty of warning to deflect or block the Curse.

Maybe wrong was a bit harsh, since Alice hadn’t technically told Emmeline how to cast the spell. “I know,” she acknowledged that fact, “it’s just practice now—but you should always treat it like a real duel. That’s how you ingrain the reflexes in yourself that you’ll need to survive the real thing, so you aren’t caught off-guard and flat-footed and gawping when a real fight starts,” she explained grimly, then raised her wand and dropped into a fighting posture to demonstrate along with her words.

“Don’t stand straight-on and face your opponent; don’t give them a chance to recover; always follow your advantage immediately.” Alice paused a moment after that little litany of the basics, then added softly, “and if you can master the mental discipline—and this bit’s hard,” she admitted, “lots of genuinely brilliant duelists often can’t, especially in the middle of battle chaos when you’re thinking about a dozen things at once—try to teach yourself how to say one spell and think another.” Alice offered the younger witch a thin smile and acknowledged, “That’s hard, yeah. It’s not just nonverbal magic, which is tough enough to do with hexes and shit like that, but it’s nonverbal magic while you’re faking another spell as cover. I’m not going to pretend that’s easy.” She shook her head.

“And it gets harder the longer a duel goes on,” Alice continued, lowering her wand now, “because you get more and more distracted by other stuff. But if you can do it, even just in the beginning exchange of spells, it gives you a sodding huge advantage. The risk of course is that you’ll fuck-up your own spells, either by diluting what you’re doing or even flat-out casting the wrong spell…but it’s worth trying to learn,” she assured Emmeline earnestly, “because if you can do it even just once when a fight first starts before your brain gets overwhelmed, you can give yourself a massive advantage. And that’s the real key to a duel, you know? It’s not so much about who knows more or nastier spells; it’s who can put the other person off-balance enough to use them, to break through their guard and have those spells actually matter.

“Anyone can sling a hex,” Alice counseled. “But you can win a duel with a…I don’t know, with a fucking tickling charm if you sling it fight. So go ahead—try again. Any spell you like this time. Well, not fatal if you don’t mind,” she teased wryly, “that would put a bit of a damper on my day. But see if you can fake me out, get through my guard. I promise not to hurt you, I just want to see what you can do.”

~

It was hard for Emmeline to hear that she had done something wrong because she had always been a bit of a people pleaser. But she was also aware that she didn’t know everything, and she was eager to learn. So while it stung just a little bit, she was ready to hear Alice’s feedback. Alice had been doing this for much longer then Emme, and she had so much experience. That was why Emmeline had gone to her in the first place. She felt like learning to properly duel and to be able to defend her was important. 

You said it out loud. It seemed so obvious when Alice had said it. Of course you didn’t want your opponent to know what you were doing. But Emmeline had been so nervous about doing this in the first place that she had forgotten the importance of surprising your opponent. She did know that, she had just...not been thinking. This was why Emmeline wasn’t very good at duels, she always felt like she got so overwhelmed, and it lead to silly little mistakes like that. At Hogwarts, or practicing duels with other Order members was not the same as being in actual battle. She needed to get better at that. She needed to learn how to manage herself in battles.

Emme winced and faltered slightly when Alice gestured her wand towards her, immediately flashing back to being in that room. She trusted Alice, she knew that she would never hurt her on purpose, so she reminded herself to breathe. She couldn’t afford to go back to that place in her head just because Alice had gestured her wand towards her. Emmeline dug her nails into her palm for a moment as she slowly calmed down. “You’re right,” Emmeline finally said after a few moments of silence, glad that her voice wasn’t nearly as shaky as she had thought it might be. “I have a lot to learn,” she admitted. “I’ve never...I’ve never been good at this. Even before. But I want to get better.”

She would do whatever it took to prove that she was stronger then they all thought. After the other night, it somehow seemed even more important that she learn how to do this. Even if she was going to stick with healing, she wanted to be able to protect herself. And anyone else that might be in the infirmary if something where to happen while they were there. And she never knew...she might get thrown into battle one day, and she wanted to be prepared. Because she knew now that if she wasn’t prepared she would either be killed, or worse, taken back to that place. And she wouldn’t be able to survive that again. She just knew that if they took her again she wouldn’t be strong enough to make it home again. So she needed to learn how to protect herself, how to make sure that it didn’t happen again. 

Emmeline listened carefully to everything that Alice said. It was impressive, everything that she knew, and it made her even more confident that she had made the right choice asking her for help. The other Aurors would be great, she knew that they all were just as good at their jobs as Alice. But the way that Alice explained things just...made sense. And she went back to the basics before getting into the more complicated things. That was so helpful because Emme needed to hear the reminders to know how to go forward with the other more challenging things. She knew that she wasn’t going to miraculously be able to duel. That would be crazy. But maybe if she worked hard at it, over time, she would get better. She would start to be able to handle all of this. “I never would have thought to try something like that on my own,” she admitted. “It sounds really challenging...but I’m going to try really hard. I know that I don’t have the experience that you have had so I trust you when you say that it’s a challenge. But if you think that it’s worth it to try to learn then I’m going to try to learn. I’m going to try anything to be better at this. I have so much to learn.”

When Alice told her to try, she felt her heart start to race, but she nodded her head. “I promise,” she said, nervously. Even though it was just Alice, and she did trust her, she knew that she needed to get through that wall in her mind whenever someone pointed a wand at her. She couldn’t move forward if she still kept that wall up. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t battle if she froze whenever someone so much as gestured a wand in her direction. What use would she be to the Order if she kept doing that? 

She told him about her ideas for the tattoo - maybe a feather, maybe an egg - and he could tell she’d thought about it, even if she hadn’t gotten the idea pegged down completely yet. He grinned at that. It meant that she truly did believe in his ideas. That she wanted this for herself and knew it was coming from a good place, even if others were angry about the idea. “To be honest, I can’t picture what I want at all,” Dirk said to her. “I’ll probably just let Edgar design something for me. Big enough it won’t be hard to find, but small enough not to attract a ton of attention if it were seen.”

Practical. It was really all he’d thought about. “I think I want it here - “ He tapped his upper arm, under his shoulder, with his palm. “I figure this would be pretty easy to grab if I needed to use it, but also I can hide it when I need to.”

When he told her just why he’d come up with the idea, however, Emmeline face lit up in a shy smile and Dirk kissed her back as she pressed her lips to his. She spoke against them, calling him sweet, and Dirk grinned into the kiss. “Just the truth,” he murmured before pressing forward again, deepening the kiss and shifting his body so he was half on top of her, propping himself up with his elbow.

~

“Edgar is really talented,” Emmeline agreed, looking up at him. “I think that he would come up with something really amazing.” Emme glanced at the spot that he was pointing to. “I think that that’s a good spot...it would be really easy to get to if you need to.”

She looked at him for a moment, considering her next words, as she fell silent. “Did I tell you that I want him to do a tattoo for me?” She bit her lip and glanced at him. “A jasmine flower...it um, it signifies healing, and well...there’s a scar. That I want to cover.” Emmeline paused and turned, and reached up to the collar of her shirt and she pulled it down off her shoulder slightly so that he could see the scar on her shoulder. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she had never showed the scar to anyone except the healers and the others. They had seen it when it had happened. It was a round burn mark, like someone had burned her with the end of their wand. “It’s um...I want to forget,” she told him softly. 

Emme hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time, but it felt right being with Dirk. Opening up a little more to him. They hadn’t been together very long, but she already trusted him more then anyone. She felt safe. She let him deepen the kiss, and she responded eagerly, letting him shift so he was half on top of her, and she let the kiss go on for a little longer before she pulled away for a moment. “Dirk?” She said softly, meeting his gaze, her heart beating fast in her chest. “I’m ready.”

🎶

“Well, I’m glad to make people happy,” Glenda smiled softly, “That’s one of the best things about having the show, honestly. I mean, besides getting to share great music, of course.” She let out a soft laugh, but it wasn’t like it was untrue; she wanted people to hear the music, and to be happy at it. Plus, knowing she could help out Emmeline a little bit with that, well, that was helpful too. Any of the other Order members, even those she wasn’t too happy with, she would want to help out in some way, no matter what. Music made it easier that way, she thought.

“Yes!” She laughed then, “I mean, they’ve of course been big helps with everything, but everything I’ve accomplished has been my own. It does help a little growing up in that whole environment and all, but you gotta have the skills to do it too.” She knew her family had been a huge help to get her where she was, but she wasn’t going to admit that they’d been most of the reason. She was talented, damnit, and she wasn’t going to let that be pushed aside just because she happened to have parents and a godmother that were in the industry as well.

Beaming, Glenda laughed a little louder at Emmeline’s words. “Oh yes,” she agreed, “I always felt so bad for everyone scrambling to fight over the couches, especially with the couple that got a little rough with it, you know?” She wanted everyone listening to be comfortable, of course, but there were always those few… She sat in her own chair, watching the record player and eyes widening as it played. “Wow indeed,” She chuckled out softly, looking at Emmeline, “It’s beyond amazing!”

~

Happy was a weird word. Emmeline had never thought about that before she and the others were taken. Happiness seemed so easy, seemed like it was something that everybody felt. But then the torture and kidnapping had happened and she realized that it wasn’t that easy. Sometimes Emme felt happy, like when she was spending time with Dirk, or when she was with James. And those moments of happiness meant more now that she had learned that it wasn’t a given, wasn’t something that happened every day. “I think that we can all use some happiness these days,” Emmeline said honestly, looking up at Glenda. “Sometimes...distraction, like listening to your show is just what we all need.” 

It was probably hard, being in Glenda’s position. She was sure that people just assumed that she had what she had because of her family, but Emme personally thought that it was wrong to say that about her. They didn’t see how hard she worked. “I completely agree. Yeah, your family and growing up around them helped you but I think that it’s rather rude to suggest that you have your show because of your family. They clearly have no idea what you used to do at Hogwarts in our common room,” she mused. Emme couldn’t imagine what that would feel like, to have people doubt that you had what you had because of who your family was. Although she supposed there were some people that did have what they had because of their families, so maybe it wasn’t so far off. But that wasn’t Glenda’s case. 

Emme nodded her head. “I never tried to fight my way to a couch. I never understood why some of them couldn’t just sit on the floor like the rest of us,” she rolled her eyes. She preferred to be in her own corner, instead of being in the thick of it. “It’s not your fault, though, that it happened. It always happened regardless of what was happening in the common room,” she shrugged. Emmeline nodded her head. “It’s amazing,” she agreed. “I don’t know...we don’t have music like this, do we? Celestina Warbeck is great but this is...different.”

asphodelroot​:

The doubt in his voice cut through her in the sweetest, most ache-inducing way possible, all the way down to the deepest parts of her, the place where that love had been so carefully, painstakingly tucked away. Jealously guarded, masochistically fed, poorly contained, a constant drive that allowed her to keep going—though if he could doubt that she loved him, even for a second, perhaps she had contained it too well.

Lily could see the conflict flashing just behind James’s eyes; the war with himself that she knew all too well. Weren’t her own battlefield littered with the scars of the same fights? The struggle between what she wanted, more than anything in this world, and what she needed. There was still the crater from the moment those two had stopped being the same thing. Lily knew him, and she understood him, and she could see all the ways this could end.

She wasn’t surprised when he started to pull away.       —Her heart might have cracked all the same.

“James,” she started, only to bite back the name as she turned the option into an order. Instead, she squeezed his hand, hoped that was enough. (Knew it never could be.) “You have always been good,” she stressed, because that much she could at least speak the full truth of. “And you’ll be the best again.” Another squeeze before she forced herself to release his hands. “Go. Shouldn’t get in trouble over me.” A cop-out, a retreat behind teasing, because that was easier than admitting to breaking both their hearts all over again.

For a moment, she pulled him back. It was just his name, but James thought that maybe it meant something more, too. He hated the rush of hope that moved through him. That idea that she would force him to stay, keep him here, that she would let herself love him again like she used to. 

But she just said that he was always good and would be the best again someday. As though he’d ever been that. He’d had four months of captivity to reflect over every little choice he’d ever made it in life and he knew that, while he wasn’t exactly bad, that didn’t mean he was ever good either.

She let him leave, though, and James stood with a sad smile, squeezing her hand one more time before he stepped back, letting it go. Letting her go. “Feel better,” he said, his voice strained with the understanding of what they’d just ended a second time. 

He turned quickly before he could change his mind and could almost feel the tears threatening at his eyes again. He sniffed roughly, pushed them back, and moved to where he could see Emmeline standing. “Take care of her for me,” he said with a soft, sad smile, reaching up to touch Emme’s shoulder gently.

James left the hospital wing then, rushing down the hallway of the estate with voices louder now that the meeting was over. On his way to the Entry Room to get the fuck out of here, he saw Severus on the other side of a corridor. He halted, standing frozen, and it was clear that the other wix understood just where he was coming from. They said nothing to one another, but James gave a small nod in their direction, almost a passing of the wand. Severus would be able to watch after Lily.

James only had to trust that.

FIN FOR JAMES.

@ofemmevance​ @wrongdeor

~

Emme felt very much like she was witnessing something that she wasn’t supposed to. It made her feel mildly uncomfortable, but also sad. Even though she had never really known James and Lily as a couple, it still made her feel sad that things had fallen apart. Because she knew just how important Lily was to James, and well...James was so incredibly important to her. 

She had tried to make herself look busy, not wanting to intrude on their moment. But she did hear the end of their conversation and hearing James’s voice tugged at her heart. It was always so hard for her to see James hurting. She wanted to make it better, but there was nothing that she could do.

“You know I will,” Emme promised him, reaching up to place her hand on his for a moment before he slipped out of the infirmary. Emmeline liked to think that she was a decent healer on a normal ocassion, but taking care of Lily seemed much bigger. Probably because her injuries were so much more then what Emme was used to healing. But also because of how important she was to James.

Emme took a deep breath and walked back over to the cot that Lily was sitting at. “How are you feeling?” Emme asked, knowing that it was a dumb question, really, but she wanted to feel out how she was doing. “Can I get you anything? Do you want to just sleep? I can give you a dreamless sleep potion,” she offered.

Emmeline called him brilliant and his heart soared. He grinned, glad that it was just the two of them again considering Marlene hadn’t followed them home (thankfully), and reached out to touch her waist, rubbing the exposed skin there gently. He’d gotten braver in the last week or so of them hanging out and kissing. Before, in the library, they would never touch like this. But after he’d finally been able to clear the air about him and Nicky to her at the party, it was like they couldn’t stop.

“Yeah?” he asked with a hint of excitement in his voice. “Do you have any idea what you might want to get?” He’d been thinking of his own, too. While he knew some people were going for style over anything else, Dirk’s would be practical. He wanted something semi-small, but large enough it would be hard to miss in an emergency situation. The placement would have to be easy to reach if his hands were bound.

“I was, uh, thinking of you… you and the others… when I came up with the idea,” he admitted. “I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what you did and I definitely don’t want it to ever happen to you again.” He’d find her, if that happened. He wouldn’t give up this time. 

~

Emmeline liked the way that his face lit up when she called him brilliant. She liked that she was the one that put that smile on his face, and that she could make him so happy. His mood seemed to be getting better since they had come back to his flat, and she was glad for that. When he reached over and started to touch her waist, she smiled and leaned over and kissed him for a few moments. It was nice, being able to do this whenever she wanted, whenever they wanted. Emme wanted to be as close to him as she could be, she had never felt this way about anyone before, and it made her nervous but excited. She thought that he felt the same way.

She nodded her head. “I’m thinking something on the small side, maybe a phoenix feather? Something that won’t be really obvious to other people,” she mused. “Maybe a phoenix egg hatching with light could be cool too. I think that I want it on my arm or maybe on my leg. I haven’t thought about placement too much yet.” She glanced at him. “What about you? Do you have any idea what you want?” 

Evan & @ofemmevance​ July 3, 1984 - Evan’s flat

Evan wasn’t in the habit of inviting Order members to his home. Come to think of it, he wasn’t one for inviting the death eaters over either unless under emergency circumstances. He and Theodosia had were limited to fellow spies and the Longbottoms as of recent, with that having turned into one Longbottom being happily welcomed in. With the way things were likely going, there was minimal risk in having someone over just to have the protective spells to switch a week or two later. He ran it by Theo and politely invited Emmeline over for dinner, taking making something somewhat intricate as a welcomed distraction.

He opened the door when there was a knock on it and winced since Ourse beat him to giving a greeting. The puppy came bounding to the door and promptly barked, her front paws aiming to rest against Emmeline’s leg.

“Down, Ourse,” Evan groaned and snapped his fingers at the pup. Another bark was heard then she was back at his side. He gave an uneasy smile and glanced down at the dog before addressing Emme. “My apologies,” Evan shook his head. “She usually has better manners than this but we aren’t in the habit of having people over so close to when I get home from work. You may be stuck with a new friend for the evening.”

~

Emmeline was nervous. When Evan had invited her over for dinner, she had been surprised. And then the surprise had turned into panic that turned into nerves. Emme and Evan spent a lot of time together, but that was always in the infirmary or at the estate, not at his flat. What if it was really weird and awkward? At the estate they always had Order business to fall back on, or healing. But dinner at his flat? That was so formal. She had no idea what she should even wear to dinner at Evan’s. And would Theo be there? She kind of hoped not, Theo scared her. At least with Evan if things were weird she could probably ask him about something she read in one of his books. But what would she talk about with Theo? Emme wished that Dirk was coming with her, at least then she would have him to fall back on. 

She stood outside of Evan’s door for far longer then she would care to admit. The thought of going home had crossed her mind a number of times, but she had to do this. She needed to be brave. And it was...just Evan. And maybe Theo. 

Knocking on the door, she fidgeted uncomfortably as she waited for Evan to come and answer the door. She nearly jumped when she heard the bark, and when the door opened, she saw the flash of dark fur, and nearly panicked, before it registered that the dog was just a puppy and she was already licking her hand, so she was clearly friendly. “It’s okay,” Emme replied. “She’s cute,” she complimented the dog as she looked at her again. “How old is she?” 

.

Emma laughed a little. “It’s probably the only pearl of wisdom I can pass on.” Especially when so many of the paths Emma took and choices she had made had all been the wrong ones. Her eyes landed on Edgar for a moment. Well.. Not all of them…

Emma raised her eyebrows, a grin crossing her face. Emmeline didn’t necessarily strike her as the sort to get a tattoo. But then again, Emma probably didn’t strike most as the sort either, and she had all but demanded Edgar give her a tattoo. Some old adage about books and covers drifted through her mind as she leaned in, almost conspiratorially. “Well, what are you thinking of getting?” She asked, genuine curiosity taking hold of her voice. 

“You did wonderfully for your first time- considering who your teacher is, you’re doing splendidly.”

~

Emmeline smiled. “I’m sure you have plenty of wisdom,” she disagreed. She didn’t know Emma very well, but she just felt like she was a person that doubted herself. She had no idea what it was like to grow up in a family like Emma’s but she was sure that it wasn’t easy. 

Emme hesitated for a slight moment when Emma asked what she was thinking of getting. She wasn’t afraid to talk about what she wanted, but she didn’t want to get into the details so much. She was having fun and she didn’t want to do something that brought down the mood. She had a tendency of doing that. But it wasn’t like people didn’t know what she had gone through, and it wasn’t like they didn’t already treat her differently because of it. “I’m thinking a jasmine flower  They signify healing, and well...I have a scar on my shoulder that I think...it would be a good spot to cover,” Emme explained. 

“Thank you,” Emme laughed. “And don’t put yourself down, you’ve been a brilliant teacher.”

It wasn’t as though Alice lacked confidence (of all the things she might be accused—fairly or otherwise—of lacking, confidence wasn’t one of them) especially not in her skills and experience in combat magic. Emmeline’s comments nonetheless filled her with a pleasant warmth at the recognition thereof. Sometimes it felt like many in the Order took those who worked in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, especially the Auror Division—her, Frank, Alastor, even wet-behind-the-ears John—somewhat for granted. It was just assumed that they would be able to do whatever needed to be done…and for the most part, they were. That didn’t always make it easy. Or pleasant, especially when they were forced to straddle the difficult line of breaking the same laws they were tasked with upholding, or vice versa.

Alice didn’t regret making the choice to straddle that line, or balk at what she was asked to do; the Order was more than just important, it was desperately needed. Whatever had to be done to win this war, Alice would do it—and her fellow Aurors, likewise. She had no doubt about that. This was a war, and they all had to do their part, and those who had the sort of skills that Alice and the others did had the corresponding responsibility to use them—to do more than was expected of others, because they could. That was just how that worked, how that had to work, and with all their lives as well as the future of all of Magical Britain on the line this was no time to quibble or quail over petty things like feelings.

It was still nice to hear that someone noticed.

Especially when she was willingly let herself be hit in the face with an extremely painful Conjunctivitus Curse for the sake of said cause. Standing still and letting the spell hit, when she had her wand in her hand and could have easily thrown up a shield to deflect it, was hard. It went against every instinct she had, every second of training she had endured. But it was what had to be done, so Alice gritted her teeth and forced her wand to stay down by her side, and did it—and then she swore very, very, very loudly as she bent half-double, eyes swelling and streaming and searing.

She flicked her wand, cancelling the spell—easier to do now, knowing exactly what spell had been coming and already holding the counter-curse in her mind, ready to speak, than it would have been in a battle after being caught by surprise in the midst of a dangerous and chaotic scene with threats bearing down on all sides, but still difficult; this was a spell that made concentrating hard—and forced herself to straighten up, breathing heavily.

“Right,” she said, wiping her streaming eyes and blinking rapidly against the slowly-shrinking swelling. She had managed to clear the spell before it could really sink-in but the sting still lingered—as did the tears. “Well done.” She probably should have forced a smile for Emmeline, but a watery grimace was the best she could manage just now.

“Now, can you tell me what you did wrong?”

~

Emmeline had jumped into the Order with very little thought outside of thinking that it was the right thing to do. And she still thought that. Their cause was one that needed to be fought, and she was glad to be on this side. But if she had known what the first year in the Order would look like for her, would she have done it? It was a question that she thought of in the cells sometimes. When things were particularly bad. She wondered if it was worth it, all of the pain and trauma that she carried with her now. Was it worth it? Emme thought that it was. If she hadn’t joined the Order then she never would have met James or Gideon or Marlene or Dirk. She wouldn’t have the people in her life that she counted on. Where would she be if she hadn’t been taken that day? If they had picked someone else to torture. Who would she be without them? Emmeline didn’t know. And she didn’t know if she wanted to know. Without the Order she wouldn’t be carrying around this trauma, and fear. But if she hadn’t joined would she have sat by idly watching as the Death Eaters killed innocent people? 

She couldn’t take it back. She wouldn’t take it back. But she could try to be better. Try to be more fit if they tried to take her again. Emme had been so naïve and innocent, walking down the street without any thoughts that it might not be safe. The thought had never even crossed her mind that night that she was being followed. She had no idea how long they had tailed her before they sent that spell that knocked her out. Emme had only been in the Order for a few months and out of Hogwarts a few weeks longer then that when they had taken her. If she had been better equipped to fight would she have known what to do? Could she have stopped it? But then she thought of James and Mar and Gideon. They were far more experienced then her, they had been doing this longer then her and they got them too.

So did it matter knowing how to fight?

Emmeline wanted to think that it would next time. She was far more jumpy now, more aware of her surroundings, unless she was stuck in her head. And she was rarely alone in public. She knew that next time, she would hopefully be on more equal footing, more aware of what could happen. She wasn’t sure that she would ever really be ready for battle, which was why she preferred healing. But she knew that it might happen, that she might get thrown into battle, and she wanted to be ready for it whenever it happened. 

Guilt flooded her as she watched Alice after she hit her with the curse. She wanted to apologize immediately and find a way to make it better, but she knew that if this was a real battle...there was no time for niceties. She frowned as she watched Alice use the counter-curse and slowly put herself back together. Emme had been on the receiving end of plenty of curses over those four months, and she had watched as the others suffered, and it never got any easier. Especially when it was because of her. 

Emme offered her a small smile. “Thanks,” she said. But then Alice had asked what she had done wrong, and she wracked her mind trying to think. She had done the curse exactly as Alice had shown her, and she had clearly done some damage, based on how Alice had reacted. But what had she done wrong? After another quiet moment, she shook her head. “No...” she admitted. 

marls-mckins​:

Marlene, @ofemmevance​ and @dirkcresswcll​ 7th July 1984 The Three Broomsticks

Marlene needed a drink, and she could not do it alone.  

It was a coincidence that the place in the hospital she’d ended up working reminded her so much of the place they were held captive. It was cleaner of course, but the cold dungeon morgue had a certain eeriness that reminded her of that place. She’d never admit, even to herself, that it was the reason she’d been drawn down there - a combination of wanting to prove she wasn’t scared of the place, and feeling like she deserved to be re-living the experience. And there were days when she did re-live the experience. Not physically, but being surrounded by reminders often put her mind back there. Today had been one of those days. 

She didn’t care that they were on a date, because obviously they were on a date. Emmeline and Dirk were tucked in the corner, talking over a couple of drinks, and good Godric, they looked happy. Seeing Emmeline happy was wonderful of course, but the more she stared at the couple the more Marlene’s guilt engulfed her. 

When her eyes finally connected with Emme’s, Marlene gave a strained smile. She should leave it at that. She should definitely not interrupt their date. But there was a nagging thought that drew her closer - if Emmeline only knew what she’d done she wouldn’t still be smiling across the bar at her. 

“Hello, losers.” She’d grabbed a seat from a neighbouring table, slotting herself into their table. “You would not believe the day I had. No one dies for hours and then suddenly all at once… well, lets not talk about morbid things. I’m done with morbid.”

She gestured over a waiter to order a drink. So, she was here to stay. Why was she committing herself to ruining this date? It was just one of those days, she supposed. It was better than going home and smashing her things while she sobbed into the void. 

“So… Dirk.” What a stupid name. “I heard about that kiss.” She glanced over at Emmeline, lips curving slightly. “Mind-blowing by all accounts.”

Dirk was happy for finally getting to take Emmeline out on a real date. While they’d been hanging out a lot since they officially got together about a week before, he hadn’t yet had the opportunity to properly court her like she deserved. So, here he was, taking her out to The Three Broomsticks. Admittedly, it wasn’t the fanciest of locations, but it was what Dirk could afford and it was different than just somewhere in Diagon Alley. Emmeline, for her part, seemed to not care he wasn’t out taking her to some place like La Licorne because she’d been grinning this whole time as they talked and ate, holding hands over the table between.

Things were going so well, in fact, that he didn’t even notice Emmeline’s gaze connecting with someone else until Marlene was already coming towards them. Without thinking, he pulled back his hand from Emmeline to sit up straighter, on edge, looking up at the old classmate who had tormented him for years. Why was she coming over here? Maybe just to say hi? It would only take a second, right? She would just come over, tell Emmeline hello, and then leave to allow them to enjoy the rest of their evening.

Please don’t sit down, please don’t sit down, Dirk thought to himself, closing his eyes briefly for a minute before opening them to see Marlene grabbing a chair from another table. Not only that, but she flagged someone down to take her drink order. Okay, so not just a casual chat. Shit. 

He tensed as she spoke, bringing up his and Emmeline’s first kiss in a way that could’ve been an insult or a compliment. He hated that about her. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t talked to Marlene McKinnon since school - they were both in the Order, after all - but he tried to avoid it as much as possible because this is what it did to him. It made him feel like he was fourteen again, trying to hide behind a book in class just so she wouldn’t see him and get any ideas. She was the reason he started changing the covers on his Muggle fantasy novels, whether she knew that or not.

“Er… yeah,” was all he could manage and he felt like such an idiot. A moment ago, he was talking to Emmeline like normal - laughing with her. Hell, he was making her laugh! How had one sentence by McKinnon unraveled him so easily? He ducked his head to take a drink of his butterbeer to try and hide the flush that crept up his neck.

@ofemmevance​

~

Emmeline didn’t care that they had gone to the Three Broomsticks for their first real date, as long as she was with Dirk then she was happy. Usually it made her feel anxious and overwhelmed being in public, and she constantly looked over her shoulder, looking for a Death Eater in a mask. Emme had no idea when she would really feel safe in such a public place. But Hogsmeade was quieter, with less people around, which she thought helped. But she felt...okay.  She knew that it was because she was at Dirk’s side, and she trusted him to make sure that nothing happened to her. Dirk had a way of keeping her mind off of the darkness and fear that consumed her. Maybe it was that she was just happy and she had nearly forgotten what that really felt like. 

She had been laughing at something that Dirk had just said when she happened to catch a familiar figure out of the corner of her eye. Marlene. A smile formed on her lips when she met her gaze from across the room, and she felt that usual pull to go and check on her, even though she was on a date with Dirk. She knew that Dirk would understand if she excused herself for a moment to check, Marlene looked...off, but Emme couldn’t deny that all of them looked off. Maybe other people wouldn’t notice it, but after everything that they had gone through...Emme could tell. 

Before Emme could decide to do something, though, Marlene was headed straight towards them, and she only had a moment to glance at Dirk before Marlene was there. “Hey,” she greeted, rolling her eyes at Marlene calling them losers. It was just Marlene, just like it had just been Mar at James’ place after the mission when she had teased her over her crush on Dirk. 

It was times like this that Emme didn’t quite know how to react to Marlene. James was so good at it, but Emme had no idea how to handle it when she said things like that. About death. Because she worried that Marlene was hiding the pain that she had to be feeling with comments like that about her job. “I’m sorry that you had a rough day at work,” Emmeline finally decided on, glancing up at Marlene as she sat down and ordered a drink. She was clearly staying.

Glancing at Dirk, she felt her cheeks burn red as Marlene brought up the kiss, and what she had said about it at James’ that day. “Mar,” she warned. Dirk was acting...different all of a sudden, and she wasn’t quite sure why or what had happened. She glanced between the two of them, unsure of what to do or say. She wished that she was sitting on the same side of the booth as Dirk all of a sudden, wishing she could take his hand, but not wanting to do it in front of Marlene for some reason. “Well...yeah, I guess I did say that. But that’s kind of...private, Marlene. Um...we can talk about something else,” she tried, glancing at Dirk. 

gidprxwett​:

marls-mckins​:​

Bottle of firewhiskey under arm, and hands full of bags of snacks, Marlene stood watching Emmeline take a drag with faint amusement. It was a moment of contentedness she thought she’d never have again, watching her friends shenanigans. Only, these people weren’t her friends. She barely knew them. She’d heard their screams, knew their sounds of pain all too well, but did she really know them at all? What was Emmeline’s middle name? Did James prefer popcorn or pretzels? She took a guess, throwing the bag of pretzels directly at his face as she made her way across the room it sit back down. 

“Give it a minute to kick in.” She said, switching the bag of popcorn for the joint, snatching it out of Emmeline’s hand and dumping the foil bag unceremoniously into the other girl’s lap. She was half way through a long slow drag when Emmeline made her announcement. A cloud of smoke erupted from Marlene’s mouth as she let out a spluttering laugh. Emme’s innocence never failed to make Marlene chuckle, but the horror and guilt that were etched into her face, over a kiss of all things, brought out her bark of a laugh.

“Godric, Emme. You say it like you fucked him in the arse. It was a kiss, no one’s going to care.” Marlene wished the only thing she had to worry about was a kiss. Not that she’d ever spent much time fretting over romance, or who was dating who, or any of those labels. Joint in hand, she flopped into the seat across from Emmeline, eyeing her warily. “Why would you want to kiss that dweeb anyway?”

No sooner than she had sat down, she was up again to answer the knocking at the door. She knew exactly would be on the other side, and so on her way over took a second drag, holding the smoke in her lungs. Her only greeting to Gideon once she wretched the door open, was to exhale, blowing the smoke purposefully and directly into his face. A wicked cat-like grin took over her features. “Welcome. We were just discussing Emme’s sordid love life. You wouldn’t believe the things she was telling us - positions I haven’t even heard of. She’s a dark horse, that one.” She turned her back, collapsing into her seat.

“Go on then, Emme. Tell Gideon about the awful things you’ve been up to.” Marlene nudged the younger girl with her foot. Pushing buttons was a new found hobby of Marlene’s, she pushed boundaries, tried to see how far she could go before it was too far. It didn’t feel like she was anywhere close to that line yet, but she was happy to creep ever closer. 

She offered the spliff she was holding up to Gideon. “Trust me, you’ll need this.”

@gidprxwett​

The mission had gone well for his team all things considered and he was happy to be out of the order meetings and free to do as he wanted for awhile. He had spent some time with Moody and had wanted to go to the cottage with him right away but he had decided to check in with his friends first. He wasn’t ready to share the details of his blossoming relationship with anyone but he was happy to spend some time with them just catching up. He had been a bit absent lately and he needed to make up for it.

He had arrived to the gathering late but he had brought some sweets along with him to hopefully make up for it. Marlene greeting him at the door with a puff of smoke in his face made a small smile come to his lips. He found himself coughing a few times but he moved to take a seat next to her on the sofa setting the sweets down on the table. He would have greeted all of them but he found himself speechless for a few moments.

“Um.. I’m sorry what was that? Emme is most certainly not about to tell me about some crazy love life. I wasn’t aware you had one yet.” He turned from Marlene to stare at Emme for a moment. “Marlene is just trying to stress me out right? You aren’t out doing crazy things like she said. Also who are you having a love life with. I need to know so I can decide if I approve or not. I at least need to be able to threaten them.”

He took what Marlene handed him without much thought. His mind still reeling from what he had heard upon his arrival. “James is Marlene telling me to truth? Or is she trying to see how fast she can give me a heart attack? I stole these sweets from my sister by the way so you guys know they have to taste good. My baking skills are not really all that great yet.”

@perniciouspotter

James shrugged. “I think he fucks around with it, yeah.” He laughed softly when Emmeline took the hit and started coughing. “You’ll get the hang of it,” he said to her fondly, reaching out to rub her back as Marlene took the spliff. “Just give it a bit,” he instructed Emmeline, who definitely wouldn’t feel it within just a few seconds, but would soon enough, even with one hit. The most he’d allow her tonight is two puffs - wouldn’t want her getting fucked up on the first try.

He dropped his hand as she blurted something out about kissing Dirk. He let out a little laugh, a noise of disbelief, as she confessed it. “You’re not,” he said immediately at the same time Marlene said something similar, albeit much rougher, causing him to laugh. “That’s a good question,” James said back to why two people wanted to date Dirk Cresswell. He looked at Emmeline before she could get upset and held up his hands in surrender. “I’m only jokin’!” 

Marlene went to grab the door for him and spilled the beans to Gideon right away, exaggerating enough to get the oldest of them riled up. James rolled his eyes as Gideon sat down and started to coddle Emmeline. “She just kissed Cresswell, mate,” he said. “It’s not that big of a deal.” He leaned forward to grab a tart from the container Gideon brought rather greedily - Molly Weasley’s cooking was the fucking shit! - before leaning back next to Emmeline and taking a large bite.

He talked around it. “No one’s getting fucked up the arse and no one’s hearing wedding bells. Let her live, Gid! Emme deserves a bit of fun.” He elbowed Emmeline lightly, grinning at her after he swallowed. “Date him if you want him,” he advised. “Who cares if he’s dating Nicky? You’re obviously better.”

@ofemmevance​​

~

“Okay,” Emme said, not complaining when Marlene traded the spliff for the popcorn. She wanted the popcorn more then that, anyways, and she nodded her head, trusting the two of them. Emmeline smiled her thanks to James when he rubbed her back as she finished coughing. “I trust you,” she told them. They were far more knowledgeable about this stuff then she was. She popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth, as she watched them both. She was just so grateful for both of them, and for Gideon. “Why don’t we hang out more?” She asked, looking at them. She spent the most time with James out of the four of them, but it seemed like they didn’t do this enough, just...be together. 

 It was a relief to hear that James didn’t think that she was a bad person, even though she totally felt like a bad person. Who kissed someone who had a girlfriend? She felt her cheeks flush at Marlene’s words, she always just...went there. Emme could almost admire her for it, she said things that Emmeline would never dream of saying. “He’s not a dweeb!” Emmeline exclaimed, feeling protective of Dirk. Neither of them knew Dirk like she did. “And I think that his girlfriend will care when she finds out,” she pointed out, looking between the two of them. Why didn’t they see that this was a big deal?

Before Emme could answer the why she had kissed him and confess her feelings for Dirk, there was a knock at the door that could only mean that Gideon was there. She watched as Mar jumped up to go and get the door. Emme could hear Marlene’s voice as she started to lie and tell Gideon things that she had definitely not said. Her cheeks turned brighter red then before as Mar and Gideon appeared in the doorway. She wanted nothing more then to disappear and she looked at James, wide eyed, wanting him to fix this. “I never said that!” She managed out as she looked at the three of them. “I would never...do that.” 

Her head had started to spin a bit, and she didn’t know if she was overwhelmed or if it was from the hit, as she looked at them. “Marlene just likes making me uncomfortable,” she agreed with James as she looked at all of them. Why did she think it was a good idea to bring up Dirk, again? “I kissed Dirk before he left to help with the mission. We’ve...been hanging out in the library at night when I can’t sleep, and I dunno...I really like him,” she admitted. “But he’s dating Nicky, so...it was so dumb,” she sighed. She pulled her knees up to her chest. James’ words made her feel good, but she shook her head. “Nicky’s so much cooler then I am!” She pointed out. “And she’s really nice. I can’t believe I kissed Dirk,” she frowned. She really hadn’t been thinking this one through. 

The past week Sirius had seen less of James than he had since he’d returned from the grave. While Sirius had busied himself with work and revisiting his extracurriculars - the two went hand in hand more frequently than he’d expected - and spending time with other people, he missed James terribly. They’d seen each other, of course, as it would have been near impossible for Sirius to go that long without James completely, but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t feel the same.

So, Sirius had decided to drop by, unannounced, as a - hopefully - nice surprise for his friend. They knew how to have a good time together, always, and he wanted to catch up. It was strange to think they needed to at all. Sirius let himself in when he arrived, bike parked out front, and made his way into the kitchen. He pulled a couple of joints fresh from Fletch from the pocket of his jacket and set them on the counter as another little surprise for James - they were going to have a great evening.

But a voice reached Sirius’ ears as he turned to rummage through the cupboard in search of snacks for them, and it didn’t belong to James. Of course he knew about Emmeline moving in with James, but he hadn’t given her a thought as he’d planned out this time for them. Why would he, when he was used to it being jamesandsirius? Anything else felt intrusive, and he wasn’t ready to face those emotions just yet.

Sirius turned, bag of crisps in hand, as Emmeline spoke, and he briefly realized he’d never really talked to the girl before. He knew that she’d become important to James in the months they’d been captured, but he’d never really thought to initiate a conversation with her before. She was too quiet, he thought, and she didn’t seem the type of person to excite him, or draw his attention. She hadn’t, until just this moment.

“Oh.” The syllable fell heavy between them, as Sirius tried to decide what to make of Emmeline. His weight shifted from one foot to the other and he considered her for a moment, before he popped open the bag of crisps to help himself. “When’s he coming back?” But it didn’t sit right with him that he had to ask Emmeline that at all. “I’ve got plans for us. So.”

~

Sirius was intimidating and she couldn’t believe that he was standing in her kitchen. Or well, James’ kitchen? She still didn’t quite know what to call Godric’s Hollow, even though it was technically her home now. She did think that a part of her would never really be used to calling this her home, just because she was so used to it being where James lived. But now she lived here too and she hadn’t really...thought about how Sirius would be hanging around here too. They had just...always spent time with James, separate from the other she supposed.

But now he was just standing there, looking at her, and she felt incredibly self-conscious all of a sudden. James used to tell her stories about the things that he and Sirius and the others got up to at Hogwarts and for the Order over the years to try to distract her from the horror of what was happening around them. It was strange, knowing those stories, but never actually talking to Sirius. She had no idea what he knew about her or about her relationship with James, and it made her nervous. 

Sirius seemed so comfortable in the kitchen as he held the bag of crisps from the cabinet. When he said oh, she got the distinct feeling that he didn’t want her there. Which was valid, this was all so new, and she knew that he and James spent a lot of time together. And she didn’t want to get in the way of that. She never wanted to ruin anything for James. But her moving in had been so quick, they hadn’t really...talked about how any of this would work. She had never been a roommate before, besides Hogwarts, and that was different. 

Emme wished that James was there. He always found a way to make her comfortable, and she was sure that he would make this...less awkward. She firmly believed that since Sirius was James’ best friend it meant that he was a good person, despite how intimidating he was, but without James there to show her that, it just felt...strange. 

🎶

“Perfect!” Glenda beamed at hearing Emmeline’s eager reply, practically bouncing on her feet. She adored the younger girl already, but knowing she was still willing to let Glenda drag her into a listening session made the older girl very happy. Honestly, anyone who let Glenda do that was a star in her book, but Emmeline was also very sweet on top of that, so it worked out perfectly. Not to mention, she knew Emmeline was close with some of the others, and that was always a good thing for future reference in her work, right?

“Thank you!” She grinned, very grateful for the encouragement. Of course, she already knew it was what she deserved, but hearing others say it and think highly of it for her made Glenda feel a lot better. She was out there showing people that Ravenclaws could be amazing, wasn’t she? “Of course, no problem!” She chuckled out, “As soon as I get her finalized schedule and she let’s me know, I’ll let you know right away.” She flushed, but nodded quickly. “It is!” She chirped out, “I mean, I kinda did before because of my family, but also slowly starting to on my own, so that’s awesome.”

Her smile was gentle as Emmeline spoke, understanding and not wanting Emmeline to feel bad for not knowing any of the records she had. “No worries,” She added, “That just means you get the experience of listening to them for the first time and discovering something you might love, yeah?” She bounced a little, quickly moving to sit the other album down and open the Purple Rain album once Emmeline pointed to it. It was one she was super excited about, so she was glad to see her pick it.

“Okay, perfect,” She chirped, quickly putting the record in, then pausing and moving to pull a chair out for Emmeline. “Go ahead and sit!” She grinned, “I know it’s different than the usual floor circle I used to do at Hogwarts, but also I feel like now that we’re a bit older, we deserve chairs instead of trying to sit on the floor, you know?” She laughed softly, then moved to get the record started playing.

~

Emme couldn’t imagine working for the radio, but it suited Glenda. She had always been so passionate about music, even when they were at Hogwarts. She had always been a little bit envious that Glenda had always known where she wanted to be in life, whereas Emmeline had always felt like she was pursuing a career at the Ministry because that was what was expected of her. But then she fell into the Order, and everything happened, and she finally thought that she understood a bit more about how Glenda felt when it came to her show. She just...needed to find the push to pursue what she wanted. It would happen, she was sure of that.

“You’re welcome,” Emmeline replied with a smile. It was easy telling Glenda that she deserved success because she did. When Emme did listen in, she always thought that she was doing a great job. “Thanks. She’s going to be so happy.” After her kidnapping, and how...difficult things had been for her family, it always made her happy to find little things that could brighten up their day. Her mother did so much for Emme, and even if they didn’t always agree, Emme knew that her parents loved her and they were just...doing the best that they could to get through things. “That’s great, I’m sure that it feels good to be doing it on your own. But I think that you would have been successful even without them.”

Her thoughts drifted to Dirk (as they did most days), as she looked at the different albums. Did he like Muggle music? She knew that his relationship with his family wasn’t the greatest, but he had to have some Muggle stuff still, right? Maybe it would impress him if she knew something about music that he might listen to. But then she remembered Nicky, and that she shouldn’t be thinking that way. She shouldn’t want to impress Dirk. But she did want to, so badly. Glenda’s excitement brought her back, and she just smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, exactly!” She agreed. It always amazed her, how Glenda could turn anything into a positive.

Emme laughed and nodded her head, making her way over to the offered chair. She sat down and made herself comfortable. The estate might not have been in the best state, but the Prewett’s really knew how to find comfortable chairs. “Oh definitely. Plus, it’s just the two of us, we don’t have to fight for the couches,” she teased. Emme never minded sitting on the floor, it was just easier then trying to fight for space on a couch or chair in the common room. Emmeline watched as Glenda got everything set up, and when the music started to play, she grew quiet as she just listened. “Wow,” she finally said, looking at Glenda. “It’s amazing!”

Date: July 7th, 1984 Location: Dirk & Nicky’s flat @ofemmevance​

The date they’d gone on earlier in the day had been awkward to say the least, with Marlene showing up and Dirk making a damn fool of himself trying to both impress Emmeline, while avoiding Marlene at the same time. He didn’t know what to say about it, though, so he just decided not to talk about it at all. It was rather unfortunate, given it was their first actual date - because he didn’t really think a party at his flat where she began thinking he was in a relationship really counted, even if they ended up as a couple that night.

It was nice now, though. Now that they were back at his place, laying in his bed, talking and kissing and just being together. He liked it best this way - just the two of them, no one to try and mess with things between them. Since his party, he’d seen Emmeline a couple of times, either at his place or her new house with James. The older bloke was a bit intimidating in Dirk’s opinion, but Potter had turned out nicer to him than Dirk would’ve assumed.

He would’ve thought James Potter was like Marlene McKinnon, after all the stories he’d heard. After seeing him in school a few years ahead of him.

They were talking about the most recent, which they hadn’t had that much time to discuss between all the, erhm, other activities they’d been doing since getting together. They haven’t had sex yet, not that Dirk really cared, but there had been plenty of kissing and things to occupy them. Still, it was nice to be able to just talk to her like they used to before kissing got in the way and he was laying on his back with an arm under his head, tilting his head to look at her laying next to him. 

It was good that they could talk about the Order. No secrets between them like that. “Yeah,” he began after she brought up the tattoo idea that had been discussed in the meeting. “I’m just waiting for someone to come after me about it, if I’m being honest. There were a few people that did not look pleased with the idea.” 

~

Emmeline was a tiny bit disappointed that her first real date had been crashed by Marlene. She loved Mar, but there was a time and a place for her showing up announced, not that Emme would ever say anything. She knew better then anyone that sometimes it was just too hard to be with your own thoughts, alone. She just wished that she would have had more time alone with Dirk before she had shown up. They hadn’t talked about Marlene’s intrusion, but she had noticed a change in Dirk the moment that Mar showed up, but she didn’t push. She figured that Dirk was just as disappointed as she was that someone had crashed their first date. 

She wasn’t used to being happy like this, but she was happy. She had been spending a lot of her free time with Dirk, whenever they could find a moment to be together. Her favorite thing was just laying in bed with him, kissing, and talking, and then kissing some more. Emme was sure that everyone could see how happy she had been lately, and she hoped that Dirk knew that he was the cause. He made her feel happy and safe, and that was the really important thing for her. 

Talking to Dirk was easy. They had spent hours talking in the library before they had started dating, and she valued his opinions. But the kissing had certainly been a nice change for her. They hadn’t had sex yet, but Emmeline was certainly thinking about it. She felt safe with Dirk and she trusted him more then any other guy she had kissed before, not that there had been many. She had been waiting for the right person, and well...Dirk felt like the right person. Emme just thought that it would happen when it happened. Whenever that may be.