crappers

Could mean good things!

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

World Heritage Post

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis

A question for the ages.

The earlier on Tuesday you reblog this the funnier it is. (5:28am)

reblog if you make occasional posts

Sometimes I still hear my voice

I mean I show up and yell about comics and wrestling so yeah

@badjokesbyjeff

I show up occasionally to remind everyone that my sense of humor still hasn’t improved

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

isn't it crazy that a woman being gender nonconforming literally just requires her to exist in her own body without making any changes whatsoever. why does the fact that i don't wear makeup and i don't shave and i don't wear a bra have to be some political act. why can't i just fucking exist

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

do you know what literally drives me up the fucking wall?

World Heritage Post

LINGUINI HAS A RAT ACCENT 

I mean his name is Alfredo Linguini so I always assumed he was Italian

I’m sorry his first name is Alfredo?

ALFREDO???

he’s American you guys his mother was American it was mentioned in the beginning

I’m sorry, I’ve moved on to the fact his mother was going through her cupboard for baby names

Alfredo was a name before it was a sauce let’s go over the movie from the top again

World Heritage Post

lord the peasants are so loud today

pheasants. PHeasants. The birds

World Heritage Post