For you, a devil

“Yeah, we can eat this twogirl style” my girlfriend, referring to a pizza we just ordered

Reblog if you want to get eaten twogirl style

Jerry Seinfeld says that you could never do Seinfeld today but one time when I was really high I fell asleep and dreamed a new episode where Jerry came out of the closet as a trans woman and Elaine wanted to be supportive so she gifted Jerry a dress that she didn't really like but when Jerry wore the dress out she got tons of compliments and Elaine gets super pissed about it because she never got any compliments when she wore it but couldn't say anything because she didn't want anyone to call her a fake ally.

its interesting being a weird autistic tranny as a kid and letting yourself get accustomed to the idea that youre just some magically antisocial loser who is "introverted" and is happy being alone and then you grow up and realize that actually you love being social you love hugs you love going out and hate being alone you just hated all of the social opportunities available to you growing up so much you let yourself romanticize solitude as a slightly less miserable state than interacting with people

you only love me for my brainwashing spores that make everyone love me. hmph

The CIA ripped my panties off !

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist