[crashing noises]

Fortuneteller, turning over the Death card: Don't worry. It isn't literal. It simply refers to some form of change. Me: Phew Fortuneteller; turning over the Gets Eaten by the Fortuneteller While Trying to Leave card: That can also mean many things

The scene in Shrek 2 when the Fairy Godmother sings I need a Hero when the giant gingerbread man attacks the castle is still the greatest scene in cinema of all times

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

Ok so apparently the girls went out for tinis and bruschetta without me

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

does getting cursed by a witch show up in drug tests

"only a poor artisan blames his tools" is such bullshit, in almost every imaginable line of work the quality of the tools you have access to plays a massive role in the quality of the end product, sometimes in excess of the role played by individual skill! For example, some people have to code in javascript

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

guy whos email is mario19 cuz he is 19 years old and when hes 20 he deletes the old mail and resigns up to every service with mario20 and when he gets to mario25 and its in use already he solidifies into a stone statue and stays in stasis for a year

can i come over n bite u hard as fuck

skrillex's "bangarang" used to play

what now?

Silence unending, interurrpted occasionally by flo ridas "cant believe it"