RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:
my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm
a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force
daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed
always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't
you do not talk about my daughter
6. If x and y are my daughters, then there exists a set that has x and y as elements.
7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.
8. I have exactly one daughter parallel to a given line passing through a given point.
9. If my daughter is hung on the wall in the first act, then in the following one she must be fired. Otherwise don't put her there.
10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.
11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.
12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.
13. My daughter is nine-tenths of the law.
14. My daughter shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition my family for a redress of grievances.
15. My daughter will not interfere with the social, cultural, or technological development of other civilizations.
16. My daughter's sympathy must remain with the Coyote.
17. The act of observing my daughter will change the state she is in. 18. Any headline that ends with a question mark can be answered by my daughter.
19. Do not get my daughter wet or feed her after midnight.
20. My daughter can only move forward, but she captures diagonally.
21. Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by my daughter.
22. My daughter is the mind-killer. She is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my daughter. I will permit her to pass over me and through me. And when she has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see her path. Where the daughter has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
23. If my daughter is bigger than your outstretched thumb, then you are within her blast radius.
24. For every daughter, there is an equal and opposite mother.
