the thickest goosenog @cooltastrophe - Tumblr Blog

feyd-meowtha

It's a moral imperative that we write more sex scenes which are

Weird

Uncomfortable

Not good for anyone involved

#shoutout to b #ack sails for putting terrible sex on screen #'jack it's gone limp again' lives in my head rent free

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cullenfamilytherapist

Jacob and Bella would be divorced by their thirties and you shan’t convince me otherwise.

alicesstraycat

Twilight AU. Bella chooses Jacob. They get married, she gets pregnant, but soon Bella is as tired of small town Forks / La Push as her mom was. She wants to feel the sun, see a beach where you don’t need a parka. Jacob chooses to stay to care for his ailing father and gives Bella the divorce and full custody of their daughter, Juliet Black. Fast forward seventeen years and Juliet decides to move to Washington to spend more time with her dad and also give her mom space now that she’s found a new man. The first day of class she is partnered with the strange but beautiful Edward Cullen, who seems eerily interested in her.

#ts originals how do we feel #wow i miss u guys #shoutout to yall putting up with me when i was 14 and stupid

deoxoid

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

#also flinthamiltons

glorious-spoon

spent forty-five minutes today helping an 87yo woman who does not own a computer or a cell phone try to set up an email account so that she could then set up a second account in order to access benefits. went with protonmail, because they don't require 2fa, but it turns out that while you can still make a protonmail account without authentication you can no longer use it to create OTHER accounts without it, and the benefits page she needed to get to required both an email and a cell phone to create an account anyway. asked if she wanted to try going in person to see if someone there could help her, and she said that she had, and they'd directed her to the website. she tried signing up with her landline, but of course that didn't work because you can't do SMS authentication that way. finally ended up writing up detailed instructions for how to log in and authenticate her account so she can drive to her severely disabled daughter's house forty minutes away because that's the only person she knows and trusts who has both a cell phone and a computer.

anyway i fucking hate mandatory 2fa and i think the people responsible for it should have to spend a year navigating their lives with no cell phone and no internet access beyond the public library pcs. fuck.

#LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #when i worked at the public library i'd have someone unable to log into their gmail bc it didnt have a cell phone attached #and there's NOTHING i could do!!!!!!!!

vincentpriceofficial

I think for a lot of people “I am completely helpless and powerless” and “I am completely powerful and in control” are both basically comforting fantasies because most of us live our lives in an in between place where we have enough agency to be responsible for our actions but not enough agency to have true control over our lives and the tension between power and powerlessness in the day to day is psychologically wearing and exhausting

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miketon

if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options

in my heart silverflint won the homoerotic betrayal bracket

#made by Asher

gursevraq

im curious what's everyone's First favorite song that u remember having? like the song u ask ur mom to play when ur a child in the backseat of ur car

the first one I can think of is Galileo by the Indigo Girls

#spring by vivaldi lmao

zetzhao

Imagine Luke Arnold as Long John Silver in Treasure Island

(With reference to the 1952 film adaptation of Treasure Island.)

I love that moment: "Give me a hand up!"

#SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH #I LITERALLY SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS #OP MARRY ME #I HAVE BEEN SO DESPERATE FOR THIS EXACT THING FOR SO LONG #black sails #john silver #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so most of my job is swapping chromeooks when kids break theirs but occasionally i get to mess with networking stuff anyway one time i was checking on a port on a switch that hadn't been organized in years and i had this experience of like. i was on my knees staring at this mass of wires that was being backlit by the window just hoping that this little light would come on and i was like. this thing is a god. i am praying at an altar right now.

#made by Asher

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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gondorrevealparty

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

gondorrevealparty

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

thembocoles

Getting traded and finding out on tumblr

fakedinosaurbones

getting optioned to AAA on an improvement plan

#my polycule traded me to one direction

kaoinim-deactivated20220927

pocketkris

ps5 brain monday

what-even-is-thiss

Oh so THIS is the ps5 post. I can see why you all imprinted on it now that’s hilarious

partyybeetle

happy 1 year ps5 brain monday

dragongirltongue

happy 2 year ps5 brain monday

whatthe4355

happy 3 year ps5 brain monday

charlataninred

Happy 4 year ps5 brain monday

#i love how he spends the first [art trying to look like a normal tiktok guy

itsalwaysdark

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

fandaniel

having a multi year long character obsession becomes like a abstract thought experiment at some point

#i've been flintposting in the groupchat

pansylair

A great place to donate to First Nations groups impacted by the ongoing wildfires 👇

True North Aid provides practical humanitarian support to northern and remote Indigenous communities in Canada through community-led project

Also consider Mikinakoos' as they're extending support beyond their traditional service areas due to the scale of this emergency!

Donations for Namaygoosisagagun First Nation:

Individuals who support the goals and vision of AN7GC can make a donation. The ways to donate: call us, mail your donation, use Paypal or Ca

Donations for Whitesand First Nation:

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

people on goodreads are so fucking stupid

#made by Asher

anybody else feel like they were supposed to get kidnapped by the fae at some point

#made by Asher

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