The Billboards Have Teeth

a vampire using me like a juice box would fix me

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.

Finally. Normal porn is back on this website.

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

@demilypyro

I had a dream that they made a new superman tv show that happened to have fairly graphic sex scenes and for some reason it was a hot button controversy on this website that superman kept his shirt on (but nothing else) in a sex scene with lois lane, and we all found it weird that he was framed with his long sleeve blue and red shirt still on while his bare ass was directly in the viewer’s face, because it was emasculating for superman to be “winnie the pooh-ing it” during sex.

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

Ok, enough medieval/Roman/Scandinavian fantasy settings, I want a paleolithic fantasy setting. No metalworking, just spears and clubs and rocks. No castles, just caves and huts. Extinct megafauna instead of dragons. No elves or dwarves, but Neanderthals and Denisovans. You can still have Hobbits. Doesn’t have to be 100% accurate. Throw Erectus in there, fuck it, make up your own Homo species.

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg