If music be the food of love, play on.

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Will: nvmadn adh ajk eajke rhkjaejhas The Ripper akdjasdbf cnladshuebgb akda nc Dr. Lecter akfdan mkldai zhcnvjkekla my design akjdfkl;nc xhabdjk

LOUD AS FUCK BACKGROUND DRUMS: 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

muppet profiles

No, you don't want that otter. No, that is not a pet. No, that up close encounter where you can pay to cuddle with an otter is probably not ethical. No, I'm pretty sure that channel with a guy and his pet otters is not a legitimate "animal rescue", stop recommending it to me.

Yes, the otter is cute. Please admire them either from a distance, or behind a barrier at an accredited facility. Thank you.

If you want a pet, you want a domesticated species. If you want a domesticated mustelid (the family otters belongs to), we have one: it's called a "ferret"

All of the issues of supporting less ethical encounters and driving the illegal pet trade aside (other people already covered them, yay), have you seen those teeth? The ones that rip through fish like butter?

North American River Otter (The Des Moines Register)

Asian Small-Clawed Otter (Knockhatch Adventure Park)

Do you want wet slippery stinky chaos gremlins with those teeth anywhere near your soft fleshy parts? No. No you do not.

People get bitten by wild otters and it is a big enough deal to make the media when it happens! There’s a bunch of examples of serious bites at this link. They mostly avoid people but when they feel threatened they can fuck you up.

Seriously. There is a reason that people who work with otters, professionally in credible zoos and aquariums are the least likely people you will see reaching in to sneak a skritch. They only contact their otters in heavily trained situations using very thoroughly positively reinforced tactile cues.