Not today Justin

blake kathryn
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if i look back, i am lost

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@continuousincoherentscreaming

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A Crocodile Siren calls a guileless stranger to the murk.
Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."
Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).
It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys

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Love it when a post finds its intended audience
change does not come from a place of comfort
I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I donât know what you are talking about
Still collecting the full alphabet of the âlive, laugh, loveâ variants if anyone has some good examples.
Bonus if they can fit the âWe canât ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.â
compilation of the commentsâ best hits + some of mine own.

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my nothing
That tag sent me
The black areas represent the remaining natural dark skies in the United States
Iâve been in the middle of the ocean at night and now live in texas and it is so hard to explain to people that no, they have not ever seen the night sky. It is so hard to explain to people that what they think is a proper night sky is fucking pathetic. A disgrace.
People talk about how you canât see stars in the city and yeah, thatâs true, but their concept of âseeing starsâ is being able to make out orionâs belt.
So, so few people have see the sky in all its glory and itâs not sad. Itâs a fucking crime. Seeing a perfectly dark night, no clouds, not a hint of light pollution? Thatâs a fucking religious experience.
The sky the vast vast majority of us grew up with is not the sky that inspired us to look up. It is not the sky that inspired constellations. You canât even see most constellations.
Your ancestors looked at the night sky and said âsurely, that is where the gods must live.â And you might be lucky if you can see hardly more than a handful of stars.
The sky is full, fucking FULL, of stars, and youâve never seen them.
I remember the first time I saw a properly dark sky and was like âoh thatâs why itâs called the milky wayâ and promptly started to cry
When we were on a field trip to the middle of the red sea, I remember us all crowding at the end of the boat that didnât have lights and just lying on our backs and staring
When you see a properly dark starscape
You understand why people wrote poems and made up legends and built rockets and said heavenâs in the sky
The universe is infinite. So are the stars
Iâm trying to find a picture on google images to show you what I mean and I canât find any
You think of the night sky like fairy lights on black velvet, but itâs not itâs not itâs like, like, dust in sunlight, like - I canât find the words.
The stars are everywhere, like sugar, like glitter, like dust. You canât find the constellations at first, not because you canât recognise them, but because thereâs so many stars you canât pick out the familiar line of Orionâs belt. The North star has gone from bright familiarity to almost vanishing among a thousand, a hundred thousand, a million other lights. The milky way is a line of light arcing across the sky like a moon-trail on water only infinitely, infinitely bigger.
And for the first time in your life youâll understand why people call it a dome, because it is, itâs three dimensional in exactly the way a city skyscape isnât.
Youâll understand why Luthien TinĂşviel danced under starlight, not moonlight, why people in a time before we knew the earth was round still looked up and wondered and built telescopes and dreamed about the stars.
The stars are endless and ancient and infinite and you will stand with your head craned back and your rucksack forgotten at your feet and youâll feel like youâre falling upwards into that great bright sky like itâs calling you home and youâll wonder how you ever thought the stars were beautiful before tonight when all youâd ever seen were the naked empty skyscapes of your home. And youâll cry and youâll spend the rest of your time there gazing up and wondering and imagining what it would be like to stand among those bright silver flecks
And then youâll come home, and look up, and fall in a different kind of love with that handful of blazing stars to stubborn to be outdone by the whole of human invention, leading you home despite the light pollution and the clouds and the endless bustle of this shrinking planet.
this is not a shot from a space telescope overlayed behind a woods, or anything. thatâs not the sky as kepler or hubble or james webb see it. thatâs the sky from a dark sky park in michigan. thatâs the view you are missing out on from right here on earth. thatâs the view that has been stolen from you.
I fell in love with the sky as a child growing up in western Minnesota, miles from a small town, near a massive lake and just downhill from an 18-hole golf course - the pure darkness broken only by a single bright light I could escape by hauling my telescope up that hill or into a nearby field
Iâd often set an alarm to wake me in the middle of the night, so it was as dark as possible and my eyes as dark-adapted as they coud get, and starlight alone was enough to guide me
thatâs whatâs been taken from us all
OH OKAY so actually im fully ugly crying snotty-sobbing about this. what
As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".
So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:
Excuse me???
you are right and you should say it.
Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?
Absolutely not
You know who would try that shit?
Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?
You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?
The last thing Penelope's suitors ever see:

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I'm so mad I think I'm going to help increase the trout population
Please stop reblogging I don't want my digital footprint to be me shagging trout
apologies, money has exchanged hands for this to exist
Dude