Z

unless it’s itself enough

to get haters, so

it should have been a thing when Damian brought up the idea of quitting Robin and he pulled Bruce aside like ‘look please don’t get mad i know you won’t be happy about this, but i just don’t think this is what i want for the rest of my life, again please don’t get mad, i am my own person and it’s my life so i need you to respect my wishes here Father.’ that Bruce just stared at him really indignant for a while and then incredulously started yelling like what do you MEAN don’t get mad. i didn’t give you Robin?!?! i specifically DIDN’T give you Robin?! and then you went behind my back to get Dick to give it to you?!?! what??

like it’s the equivalent of having a toddler with you in a restaurant and you tell them Do Not Fucking Try The Wasabi. it is Spicy. and then kid eats a lump of wasabi out of spite and starts crying and now you’re the bad guy because the kid is suffering and somehow it’s your fault. 'you're supposed to take the wasabi away from them, Bruce' YOU TRY TAKING STUFF AWAY FROM THESE KIDS. SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS.

But he never died or anything he is actually just on vacation

Why is he with the Fentons?

Because they are close Friends of Talia and danny treats them like a second family.

During the time hes on vacation damian is sent to Gotham and one day danny just shows up because he wanted to see damian

Damian was interested in the funding of his grandfather’s work, and Ra’s (in earlier comics if i remember the recaps of silver and bronze ages right) only ran the League of Assassins as a means to generate money to fund endangered species sanctuaries he ran, including breeding programs and likely community outreach in areas under threat for animals they were helping protect… so Damian took to assassin work BY CHOICE in this and later decided vigilantism suited him better under his Father. Ra’s is just upset he sees his grandson less.

Danny was curious about the lazarus pitts and adores astronomy and engineering. Ra’s knows that Jack and Maddie Fenton, longtime family friends with Jack as a childhood friend of Talia here, and asked if they could have Danny be their apprentice as they learned more about ectoplasm and its potential as a green energy source to harvest and its drawbacks.

Danny legit enjoys his time with the Fentons as his host family and psuedo-cousins, and Jazz accepts the crazy in stride.

Dani/Ellie is also informed of the al Ghul side and often uses the family resources as a guide for travel, which Ra’s is fine with as ‘bonus grandkid, nice’ who enjoys learning about the world, people, and how everything interacts with one another and the beauty in it all.

Batfam’s attempts to ‘return Danny to Bruce’ keep failing as Danny is Not A Vigilante as a calling, but as a duty as the only one able to manage the ghosts without a chance of possession sticking for long. He would rather just help engineer green energy projects and drag his friends along to help (Sam and Tucker are the most terrifying protest organizers in the show, tell me Danny would not rather let them handle networking while he can be a gremlin in the lab and surface for human interaction on occasion). Danny also sees Green Energy as a way to help protect seeing the stars, and as a pet project is working on warm lighting and encouraging lamp projects that reduce light pollution that disrupts a both out ability to see the cosmos as our ancestors did, and disrupts animals’ sleep cycles.

Danny is an engineer doing an apprenticeship and has found 2 recruits to his green energy and technology campaign as his best friends, he has no inclination to leave them, move to Gotham or leave his responsibility with the portal AND his own goals as a green technology engineer.

Talia is proud of Danny for choosing his own path and carving his own niche into existence. She is also his legal guardian still, and possibly in a legal battle with Bruce over custody and his attempts to derail Danny’s apprenticeship/education.

Damian is firmly on Danny’s side—his brother found a way to combine all of his interests, make it a lifework that protects the environment and could solve numerous energy crises, AND found people to handle the Awkward social interactions for him that networking often requires. Leave his brother to pursue his dream Father.

Danny also supports Damian’s vigilantism preference, and compares tactic notes as Phantom (why hide it from his family? His host family sure but Al Ghuls? Never) and asks questions on tips for building rapport with rogues (Damian isnt the best at this… so they tend to add mother to these calls and Talia is always delighted they care for her opinion) or new ways to try using his ‘ever expanding list of powers’ in daily life so they are more natural to use in combat.

Hell, talia may see Danny more often as his host family isnt hostile to her (see Dick and Talia beef throughout the ages) and encourages her presence as Jazz’s godmother and childhood friend.

Danny to me doesn't like killing it more of a last resort but he genuinely loves helping his family find new sources of clean energy and helping the environment so he doesn't really hate ghost nor do the Fenton because they technically did punch a hole into another environment and so they aren't surprised when those people come through they acknowledge there are some bad ones who want to cause harm but most of them are just curious!

I think bruce would see the fentons research and try to claim Talia is putting him in danger and I think it would be pretty funny if they just show that danny isnt even in any danger

And then he claims that danny hasn't been living with his mother and danny is just like

"Im under a apprenticeship and me and my mother call each other everyday and she comes and visits me atleast three times a month"

And then the whole Lazarus pits is ectoplasm thing with jason I think the batfamily will bring it up that maybe thats why jason is so mad and everything and damian just stares at them in confusion because he has died before and been in the Lazarus pits and hes perfectly fine

Can we throw in Cujo as part of bruce’s ‘evidence’ only for both sons to be insulted?

Danny asks why Bruce is bullying his pet/familiar—it wasn’t his fault he’s an amalgamation of multiple puppies death in a mass killing! He was confused and he’s as trained as a dead puppy can be now!

Damian adds on Cujo is an excellent messenger dog and guard dog—he watches over Damian when he’s injured and helps with healing faster!

Judge just sighs and asks to see the ‘cujo’ in question.

Danny publicly summons a ghost puppy (i stand by pitty or bulldog for cujo) who is clearly excitable to see He Boy(s) and kisses them while whining for pets.

Damian explains he and his brother have an interest i magic and its potential applications but Danny had some talent for it while Damian can manage counterspells but not initial castings. Cujo is Danny’s familiar and helps him manage his magic.

Judge looks at the picture of a Tank Sized Ghost Dog and cujo in Danny’s arms.

“He gets that way when he’s protecting or searching. Cujo, big mode!”

Cujo did break the ceiling. And made wind with his rail wags.

“He is a very good protector,” Danny added while giving the dog scritichies on his flank.

The judge politely informs Bruce his request for full custody is denied, but he can have visitation if Danny, a teenager allowed to have a say, desires it.

Danny politely declines as ‘i refuse to see his eldest try to fight my mom in our second home, or hear any of them speak poorly about my family for a difference in extremes of methodology and beliefs around killing.”

Judge, migraine incoming. “Elaborate(?)”

“Bruce is against killing, no matter how extreme situations become. My grandfather was a medical doctor and learned to do combat to protect his later partners after his first wife died. He has killed to keep us safe, and taught us how to survive in combat. I stand by it as a weapon of last resort for myself, but if push comes to shove i know i can manage it and i have people to help me through the aftermath of being in that position.

“But Bruce made clear many times, according to Damian, that he sees the second Robin as someone who killed a man that fell out a window by not saving him. I don’t know the details beyond he was a diplomatically immune rapist that taunted a victim to suicide. He has condemned this now dead child, in front of my brother, many times for refusing to help someone that sought to actively harm women. I don’t trust that if I was in a position where my options were limited and I had to kill, he would be supportive or healthy for me.”

Damian interjected with “and father did abandon Mother not long after their wedding. He married mother by our country of origin’s standards and then left her before we were born. Danny has never been tolerant to slights when it comes to her.”

Judge looks to the ceiling. “Were they ever divorced?”

Talia, tartly. “No. We’ve been separated by [country name] standards. You can’t serve divorce papers to a man that makes being tracked near impossible.”

Judge nods along, very sympathetic to Danny’s decision of ‘i will visit on my terms, not yours’ and understood that he may be called as a witness to an international divorce case and possible fraud as Bruce has gone about as a Bachelor… when he’s been married and left his wife from the al Ghul’s POV and the son living with him sees this as ‘child support for Mother, plus rightful inheritance assurance’ while the other is neutral at best… damn it family law insane.

“Did she just write ‘yeti doctor’?”

Bruce’s head snaps up at Steph’s voice, looking once again at the letter on the screen. “Dear Mister Wayne,” it reads, and that is where normalcy ends. “Thank you so much for taking in Danny, I was so worried when he had to escape our parents.” Which is already an extremely worrying sentence. Made even more worrisome with the fact that there is no Danny currently residing in his manor.

His family is in chaos. Tim has three screens in front of him, ranting about living firewalls to Barbara, while Dick leans over his shoulder.

Alfred has lifted a thick three-ring binder out of the care package that this Jasmine Nightingale has sent them, and is flipping through it. Apparently this binder contains all of the medical, psychological, and cultural information needed to make sure that Danny’s species can thrive. Because the missing teen that should be in his manor is not human, but some sort of human/ghost hybrid.

“Father, I think this warrants an emergency meeting with the Justice League.” His youngest says. “There is currently a government agency hunting Cujo and Daniel, citing laws that directly counter the Meta Human Protection Acts. This cannot stand.” Cujo, the green glowing, 10 foot ghostdog that delivered the package and letter this morning by density shifting into the dining room during breakfast. Damian was of course attached.

“Uh, Alfred?” Duke starts form where he and Jason have been emptying the care package, “there’s a huge first aid kit here, but most of it is glowing.” Jason, of course, is turning the high tech laser pistols over in his hands, getting a feel for the handling and grip.

Bruce let’s his eyes skim over the letter again, his eyes catching on words like “Ghost King”, “Infinite Realms”, and “vivisection”. “I know it takes Danny a while to open up,” the letter reads, “so I’m beyond grateful that he feels safe enough with you.” Except he doesn’t, because Danny is not here. Somewhere out on the streets of Gotham is a half dead teenager, hurt and alone. And Bruce didn’t know. Didn’t know any of it until his sister sent him a care package, because apparently this kid has lied to his sister that he’s safe, that he found somewhere to stay.

He doesn’t notice the sudden hush behind him until Jason breaks it. “Is that fucking Lazarus Water?!” Bruce lowers his head back into his hands.

“I will prepare a room for the young master.” Alfred sniffs as his footsteps go towards the elevator. “I’m finding this kid.” Jason answers, leaving towards the lockers “Wait, Little Wing! I’m coming with!” Well, at least Dick can hopefully keep Jason in line. He prays to Rao this doesn’t mean he has to deal with a half-ghost, immensely powerful teen that struggles with Pit Rage.

From @geekyrie in the notes: "Bruce's first order of business is finding the teen he's supposed to take care of. The second order of business is most likely to ground him for giving him a heart attack, probably."

---

All in all, Danny’s life is going pretty well. Sure, he’s homeless on the streets of Gotham, but he hasn’t seen a white van in a few weeks, he can phase into gyms to use the showers, and he just found a coupon for a free fro-yo! So, yeah, life is great!

Which is of course when weird things start happening to him. He should have known it wouldn’t last. He’s just enjoying his fro-yo – blueberry, hell yeah – when a car passes him, breaks with tires squealing, and drives onto the sidewalk, coming to a stop uncomfortably close. It’s a nice car though, very sleek. Danny wonders what kind of engine it has, and if someone would notice if he took a look under the hood.

He never gets that chance. Instead a tall man with broad shoulders steps out of the car. He looks mad, and he looks specifically at Danny. Whelp, better keep moving then! Danny focuses hard on the next bite, looking down, and starts power-walking out of there.

“Daniel Thomas Nightingale-Wayne!”

Wait, what? He looks back to the tall man in the suit, and yeah, he’s still looking at Danny. More people stopped at the commotion, aaaaaaand great, here come the phone cameras. Tall man is walking towards him and Danny really doesn’t want to cause a scene, right now. Also the man is familiar. Somewhere.

“Where have you been?” oh, the man is still talking to him, “We’ve been looking all over for you. You can’t just disappear for six days.”

Again, what? “I’m sorry?” He tries, “also, I think you ha-”

“I appreciate the apology, chum, but you’re still grounded.”

“Wha- Grounded?!”

The man, wait – Wayne? Bruce Wayne?! Why would billionaire and himbo Brucie Wayne think he’s one of his kids? Mister Wayne crouches down, not caring about the dirty sidewalk and places his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “Sweetheart,” he starts and Danny absolutely does not melt, nope, “your sisters have been worried sick. Jason is stress-baking, Tim hasn’t slept in three days, and Damian has been – well you know Damian doesn’t show it, but I know he’s been worried.”

Danny is so confused. And now confused and slightly guilty. He doesn’t even know these people! Does he?

“Now come on, get in the car. I think Alfred was making one of your favorites for dinner tonight, and you can call your sister when we get to the manor.” Wayne’s hand on his shoulder is gentle and warm as he guides him, nothing like Vlad’s bruising grip.

“You talked to Jazz?” He asks as he’s deposited into the passenger’s side.

“Oh yes,” Wayne says, with a weird twinkle in his eye, “she’s been waiting to talk to you.”

And oh, oh no, that does not sound good at all.

---

this kind of policing is why ao3 was created

remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:

- don’t like; don’t read

- your kink is not my kink

kink *but your kink is okay*

don’t forget that part

He jumps headfirst into romantic relationships often, and is quick to return the moment someone he previously dated implied they might be interested in a rerun. He meets a pretty lady that is fully capable of kicking his ass and suddenly his heart beats for her. Just as easily, he will fall for the next man that he finds his empathy reaching a little too far for.

It’s even easier with kids. He holds a baby, waiting for the baby’s parents to return from being checked over by medics, and he’s imagining them growing up, decorating their nursery in his mind, picking out colleges that’ll more suit different interests - if the baby wants to be a lawyer, then this school would be better; if a little artist in the making, then this other school is the best of the best. And it all goes through his head in the ten minutes that the parents are held up for. He saves a toddler from a burning building, and sees himself taking the kid for walks and building Legos with them. He finds a teenager in trouble, and he’s already imagining helping them with their homework.

Usually, it doesn’t go anywhere. He brings the kid somewhere safe, usually reuniting them with their parents, and then mopes about the loss of that potential future for a few days before it leaves his mind again.

But sometimes, sometimes, a child sticks in his mind. Dick was the first of those children, quickly brought into his custody but not quick enough.

Next was Tim, a bright little child that Bruce noticed before he’d ever adopted Jason. Tim was the first child Bruce had to learn restraint for, telling himself that he couldn’t monitor this little kid who looked at Bruce like he hung the stars in the sky. Still, he couldn’t help but to keep an eye on the little Drake during galas and gatherings. Tim was Bruce’s son before he was ever Robin, no matter what Bruce had said and done in his grief.

Jason was very quickly adopted, Bruce hadn’t even needed to use his hard won restraint for that one. The moment he’d seen those defiant blue eyes glaring at him in the darkness, he’d emotionally adopted the boy. Mentally adopted him shortly after, with the adoption papers filled out and turned in quickly after.

The only child Bruce would find himself counting when doing roll call only to be disappointed had barely been in Bruce’s presence for five minutes. The little boy Bruce found himself thinking often of, wondering how he was growing up, whether he was going to see the stars as an adult like he’d claimed, hoping Bruce might even see the little boy applying for Wayne Enterprise’s Aerospace division. Danny Fenton was a child that crossed Bruce’s mind often despite not being, on paper or by blood, Bruce’s child.

But to Bruce’s heart and mind? Danny should’ve grown up with him.

“Daddy!” Bruce looked down as a small weight hit his leg, stunned to see a small child there. “Look! Shtarsh!” A small lisp, as the child turned a gap-toothed grin up at Bruce. Bruce followed the little boy’s pointing finger, noting that there was indeed a display of stars, the infographics claiming a better way to fuel rockets was such-and-such method over the common-

Wait, had this child called him-?

“It sure is, bud,” Bruce agreed, kneeling down to be closer to even height with this… four-year-old? “But what are you doing over here by yourself?”

“Mommy d’ere,” the little boy pointed towards a woman in a teal… hazmat suit(?), focused intently on the display in front of her. In her hands was a leash that led down to an abandoned backpack.

Bruce’s face twitched at the fact that she hadn’t even noticed, and he didn’t know how long the child had been free of the backpack. Long enough for it to look like it’d been dragged from a different exhibit.

Bruce looked back at the little escape artist, “May I pick you up, chum?” The little boy’s eyes brightened, excited.

“Rocket!” He bounced a little on his toes, hands held up excitedly.

Bruce was disappointed, himself, that he had no clue what this boy was asking for, “Not right now, but maybe later.” Bruce was quick to tack on the last part as the boy deflated. Propping the little boy on his hip, he made his way over to ‘mommy.’ “Excuse me, ma’am- ma’am?” It took several calls, and even waving his hand in her eyesight, to get the woman’s attention - and Bruce’s displeasure with the woman steadily increased the longer it took. “You appear to have misplaced a budding astronaut.”

She barely even glanced at the little boy before negating his statement, “no I didn’t, he’s right-“ finally, she noticed the childless backpack, her head snapping back to Bruce, “Daniel James Fenton! I told you to stop taking your backpack off!”

“But- but shtarsh, mommy!” The little boy indignantly argued back with the woman, and Bruce had to quickly school his face to not smile at Daniel’s attitude.

“That doesn’t mean you can wander off, Danny,” the woman huffed, before reaching out to steal- retrieve her son from Bruce. “Thank you, sir.”

Throughout the rest of the convention, Bruce caught glimpses of the bright-eyed little boy with his mother and father, who was a man that Bruce could feasibly understand the young child confusing Bruce for… if he weren’t wearing an eye-piercing orange hazmat suit, and Bruce a tailored three-piece.

When it became clear that Bruce’s attachment to the little boy didn’t fade with time and distance the way it normally did, he allowed himself just one day in a year where he would indulge, letting himself use the resources available to him to check on the little boy. Last Bruce had seen, little Danny, who had just turned 14, - only a couple years older than Damian now that he thinks about it - was doing well in school and was on his way to becoming an astronaut.

So why…?

Why was his little boy standing before Batman in dirty, ripped up, bloody clothes and an unnatural green light in his otherwise dull eyes?

Like this is giving Freshly-Post-Accident vibes, which that is its own horror, but also…

I can see this dragged out some more…

Just…

Batman stares at the screen with the displayed grades and their incomprehensible slide. Danny was doing well on last quarter’s report card, yet now this quarter’s report card shows that he is almost failing.

But that bright little astronaut…

Bruce’s first thought is that something happened at school, but a quick poke into more records shows that there are no incident reports with Danny’s name. Alright. Then perhaps struggles at home. Financial difficulty? A death in the family? Teen rebellion? Drugs and alcohol? Or- just like that day at the museum -oblivious parents that allow accidents to happen?

Everything hurts. His shoulder burns, and his blood feels like it's melting, which makes no sense, because blood is already liquid. Danny wishes he could go home. But home is the place he's running from, because his parents know and Danny knows exactly what his parents do to ghosts.

He never thought he'd be the one they're hunting. Houses and streets fly past, on the street below, but Danny is hardly paying attention, until suddenly he's face to face with familiar blue siding.

Tucker.

His friend, who's no doubt sitting down to dinner right now with his family. Tucker, who he's hardly spoken to for a month now. Tucker, who's still not talking to him, after their fight last week.

A fight that started because Danny lied to him. Not that he could even begin to explain why. Not when there's no reasonable explanation for your body randomly slipping out tangibility.

Not when he shouldn't even be alive anymore.

The squealing of tires alerts Danny to the approaching vehicle, but he only has enough time to turn around, before his parents ghost assault vehicle is bearing down on him like a massive beast.

"Explain yourself, ghost boy!" His mother is shouting from the open window. He blinks, staring stupidly at the massive launcher in her hands, and he doesn't know what it does, but he knows he can't let it hit him.

Danny flees again, frantically flying down streets, dodging and weaving, but the GAV doesn't waver in its course. It's almost like the thing is attached to him by a tether and-

Trees.

Amity Forest is rising up to his right, and the GAV may be able to navigate streets with minimal damage, but surely weaving around trees would be harder.

Danny dodges to the right, ducking into the tree line and flying as fast as he can, into the deepest parts of the forest. He's exhausted and he hurts something terrible, but he can't stop now.

Only, suddenly his powers are flickering and suddenly Danny's falling instead of flying. He tumbles through branches, feeling each moment as they cut and scratch at his face, his arms, his clothing. And then, suddenly, Danny's thudding into the earthen ground.

For a moment he just lies there, struggling to breathe. But then he hears the sound of shouting in the distance, and he forces himself up. His ankle hurts now, and his shoulder feels even worse, and each breath burns in his lungs, but he has to keep walking. He has to keep going until he finds somewhere safe. He has to find somewhere he can be safe.

He loves easily. He cares deeply.

Romantic relationships of course, and it’s easier with kids. To raise them, to help them grow, to protect them, to care for their hurts, to provide for them, to watch their futures bloom. Dick. Jason. Tim. Cass. Damian. Duke. And Steph and Babs when they let him.

He cares so much, he can’t help that he wants to help them.

Danny Fenton was a child that crossed Bruce’s mind often despite not being, on paper or by blood, Bruce’s child.

But to his heart and mind? Danny should’ve grown up with him.

And he needs no further proof than the wrecked boy standing before him.

Bruce sits beside the bed in the med bay, still in his costume. He watches the boy, breathing shallow and heart rate uneven. And he knows he's failed.

He had wanted to help Danny. Had dreamed of a day when he might be able to offer that assistance readily. Of a day when he was grown up, and nobody would question Wayne Industries taking an interest in a promising young scientist.

He had wanted to protect Danny. Had carefully returned him to his mother, so many years ago, so that no harm would befall him in the chaos of that showroom.

On both accounts he had failed. Had failed to help Danny, when he noticed the concerning signs last month. He had spotted the grades slowly dropping and had chosen to look away, to focus on things that were easier — that seemed more important. He had failed to protect Danny — and maybe he hadn't known he was in danger. There are dozens of reasons for dropping grades that don't involve danger at home after all, but even still.

Danny showed up here, in Gotham, begging Batman of all people to help him, to save him.

Danny had offered Bruce the opportunity to finally — finally — do what he's built to do. He had come to Bruce, had asked him for help, for protection, for healing.

And now that he had every opportunity, Bruce was failing at all three.

The test results light up the nearby monitor ominously, blinking back that dreaded inconclusive response. Danny's breathing stays shallow, his body collapsing under the weight of some malady Bruce can't comprehend.

The wound — that melting, horrible wound — shows no sign of healing, and every test Bruce can think of fails. He can't fix it if he doesn't know what's wrong. He can't run tests, when every sample he takes disassembles itself before the system can finish processing.

He can't ask for help if he doesn't know what kind he needs.

Medical texts lie at his feet, a desperate effort to find some hint of anything that could produce these results, but nothing makes sense. Whatever happened to the boy, it's frighteningly innovative.

And he can't even ask Danny, because the boy has yet to wake up. He'd explained almost nothing before he passed out, right in Batman's arms.

He has nothing to go on. Has no way to fix this.

He's Bruce Wayne, who loves helping people. He's Batman, who always has the answers. He's Brucie, who never wavers or lacks confidence.

Dick slides to a stop on his patrol route, crouching on the ledge of a building while he presses his com. “He didn’t return to his route with you?”

It gets hard, sometimes. Like when Jason had to go find his biological mother, or when Tim created 99 failed copies of his dead friends that Alfred knew quite well were going to return sooner rather than later. He didn't interfere when his son lost his way home and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to find it. Messing with time is always disorienting. Regardless, he didn't. No matter how much it broke his heart. Not daring to even consider how easy it would have been. He couldn't. He can't. It wouldn't have made a difference. Not really. Not with what Alfred knew and the abilities he chose to keep hidden and unused. It wasn't time then. It isn't time yet. It probably won't be for quite a long time. Certainly not until way after all his charges have long since passed and moved on.

So Alfred focuses on being there. On supporting where he can. Healing when they get injured. Nudging them subtly towards the better path. Alfred might not be able to interfere but that doesn't stop him from guiding, training, hinting, sometimes outright telling. As long as he is not directly involved, it doesn't count. That was the deal. He has been careful about it.

The loophole serves him well here. Sure, he is cutting the baby halfa's arm and technically getting involved. But he was careful to wait until he was summoned, no matter how tempting it would have been to just show up and get things done. And sure, he would have been able to save it if he had gotten there before, but not only would that have been cutting it a little too close (at least while the halfa isn't officially his charge, once Bruce's adoption comes through, it will be a whole different story. He has a vested interest in keeping all his people safe, after all. They can't expect him to just sit back and let things happen where they are concerned. He has already shown an inordinate amount of restraint), it also would have required him to use some of his extra abilities. He can't do that. It is not time yet.

So he is amputating a limb without anesthesia. He feels a little guilty about it. Sure, he knows the arm is likely to grow back eventually, once the boy gains control of his abilities and gets used to relying on ectoplasm more than organs and muscles and bones. It is still a full limb. Who knows how long it will take the kid to get that far? He proceeds with it anyway. The kid will be fine and there are limits on how far Alfred is allowed to go for those he doesn't favor. Yet. He does try to be gentle about it and use a tiny amount of his power to make sure the kid doesn't feel it too much. He wishes he could do more. He contemplates the consequences that would bring. He sighs and keeps working.

This is followed by a series of replies and tags which read as follows…

#i hug them straight on so my boobs can establish dominance

#i prefer head on like a car crash. make the boobies kiss

we could be doing this with balls, no homo even

#i’m usually taller so I press mine above and get a tiddie shelf

My wife calls it “Titris”

it’s called titrus thanks

Can I just say that despite me not liking demon twins au so much I absolutely love the idea that Maddie was also in the league as a guard to Danyal because she was a trusted friend or ally to Talia but absolutely did not like Talia at all.

I love Maddie watching this soft-hearted child refusing to kill and trying so hard to get his brother's favor and his mother's love to learn more about his father wanting to be like him to the point where is Maddie said screw it and became his mother instead.

Not that anyone knows about it

Then the attack came and Maddie realized that Ras was planing on killing off Danyal and she was like fuck no took Danny by the arms and did a Tarzan sequence of escaping with the middle finger pointing at the assassins especially Ras and Talia.

So Maddie comes back with a child after being kidnapped by who knows who with Maddie proceeding to smile and say "Jack I came back and I brought a child with me meet our new son :3"

Jazz was ecstatic to have a new baby brother and proceeded to spoil him rotten

So when Danny comes out as phantom Maddie is the first to take his side and be like that's my baby boy screw you jack I don't care if you don't support him I will absolutely and you if you try to hurt him I do not care that is my child such as jazz.

Absolutely love Maddie being the most involved in her children's life than Jack because in the show he has been a bit of an idiot like yes scientifically he is a genius but I do like to think most of the time and everything else he's an absolute idiot so he needs Maddie by his side.

Let's say they moved to Gotham only for the bat clan to harass Danny about joining the family and Maddie is not having any of it to the point where she just takes the big gun goes to batman threatens him and tells superman that batman has harassed her son and for him to put some sense into him.

Safe to say that Bruce and Clark got into a argument before Clark learned the truth and just stared at Bruce so disappointingly like. "Bruce out of all the ways you could approach another long lost son that absolutely does not want to join the family you decide to harass him instead?"

Next time they try to get jazz too but that's when Maddie had enough and burst through the cave with a tank proceeding to beat the living crap out of everyone and get her children to safety.

I like to think that night was supposed to be the night that Talia came to visit Damien only to see this mess the cave and after she learns the truth she just nods

"I have long lost the claim of calling myself a mother to Danyal I'm glad Maddie is taking such good care of him"

Bruce: -need to tail them while you download the contents of the server, and Red Robin you contact the authorities. i'll see you soon.

Damian: on it.

Tim: so i'm just the phone guy now, huh?

Dick: i told you to come over to Diamond District and run with me for the night, Red. weapons dealings are always boring.

Bruce, tired: just do your jobs, please.

*connecting ping*

Jason: where's my favourite boy?

Dick: ...that could mean any of us, Hood.

Damian: i'm here.

Jason: THERE YOU ARE!

Tim: *loud snort* how insecure you feeling right now, Nightwing?

Dick: i don't want to talk about it.

Jason: ok baby boy, i need you over in the alley toot-sweet.

Damian: i'm kinda busy on a case right now, akhi.

Bruce: Hood, are you in need of back up?

Jason: no- why do you always assume everybody needs back up all the time? do you not have any trust in your children to handle themselves at any point in their lives??

Bruce: well maybe it's just because my children never contact me unless they need back up and i've learnt to expect it?

Dick: ooooh~

Jason, without missing a beat: not true, i hit you up for money like last week.

Bruce, dry: yes, i stand corrected.

Damian: what do you need from me in the alley? Red is being pretty useless tonight, he could go in my place.

Jason: no i need a child your age. i'm gonna go fight this woman in my neighbourhood, and if she brings out her kid to help her in the fight then i need you to take care of him.

*a beat*

Bruce: what?

Damian: is this the Caroline woman that banned you from your HOA?

Bruce: ...what?

Dick: oh my god, that's still going on?!

Jason: she called the cops on me for being 'too loud' despite the fact that she doesn't even live in my building and the night she called to complain i wasn't even fuckin' home because i was in Bludhaven with Dick.

Dick: *cackling* dude this woman hates you-!

Tim: what did the cops say?!

Jason: the cops work for me, Timmers. like, half the local precinct are on Red Hood's payroll and have been around me enough that they've gotten an inkling that 'Todd Peters from apartment 3B' is probably their boss in civilian form. they sent me a heads up that Carol was up to her usual shit and then told me to have a good night.

Tim: man, i really need to get my own territory so i can get dirty cops on my side.

Dick: *sympathetic click* not gonna happen while you're living under B's roof, i'm afraid.

Damian: yeah i tried to accept a bribe from a dirty cop once; Father hit me.

Bruce: i did not hit you, i lightly smacked you upside the head- you really need to stop telling people that i hit you. and can we get back to Hood and this Caroline woman? what's going on, i thought you said you didn't need back up?

Dick: oh he doesn't, Caroline isn't like. a rogue or anything.

Jason, bitterly mumbling: fuckin' might as well be, once i'm done with her.

Tim: Hood's in a civilian battle with a bunch of PTA moms in his neighbourhood that don't like him.

Bruce, slightly hopeful: they have an issue with the way Red Hood runs the alley?

Jason: *cackle* nope, sorry B! they love Hood, they just don't know i am Hood.

Dick: they sent out a Facebook warning about Jason because some kid broke into his house and got hurt in the security measures and they blamed him for it.

Jason: yeah- admittedly hearting the post from the Batman Facebook account probably wasn't a great plan; now they've gotten a massive ego boost and are trying to get an audience with the Red Hood to campaign that i run myself out of the alley.

Bruce: ...all this is because her child broke into your house?

Jason: YEAH IT'S FUCKED UP. WE HAVE A WHOLE-ASS TURF WAR GOING ON OVER HERE. ME AND MY GIRLS AND THE GAY COUPLE THAT LIVES ABOVE ME AGAINST THE ENTIRE HOA AND THIS BITCH'S ASSHOLE SON.

Damian: why are you fighting her tonight?

Jason: well, we figured out a way to attempt to 'settle our differences'. so i'm going to one of the evening HOA meetings with a bunch of my neighbours and me and Carol are going to attempt to have a friendly but public debate about the issue,

Tim: *snort*

Jason: and you know, i figured; hey, Damian's a mean kid.

Dick: *wheezes*

Bruce, sighing: Hood, don't say things like that about your brother.

Jason: NO IN A- IN A NICE WAY! i want him to back me in this debate so that he can put his skills to use and mentally eviscerate these middle-aged women while i grin in the background and drink wine straight from the bottle.

Damian: god- i- i wanna do that so bad- that's my dream way to spend an evening,

Tim: you're an odd child.

Jason: ok so get over here, the meeting starts in thirty minutes!

Damian: ok hold on-

Bruce: excuse me, Robin, you cannot just run off in the middle of a case like this. especially not to go bully civilians.

Damian: oh come on, Red can cover for me!

Tim, dryly: but then who will handle the phones?

Dick: *snickering*

Bruce: no, i'm not signing off on this. Robin, you're staying with me for the night, and that's final.

*seven seconds of silence*

Tim: *sudden wheeze*

Bruce, tired: ...what's going on over there?

Damian: you can't stop me if you have no car to catch me with.

*disconnecting ping*

Bruce: what did he-

Tim, still laughing: he took off in the Batmobile.

Dick: *cackles*

Jason, proud: i love that child.

Bruce: oh for- he knows i can track that car,

Jason: AH AH AH- YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T FOLLOW HIM, IT'S DANGEROUS TO HIS IDENTITY. if you bust in as Batman when he's in civilian form talking about the fucking Batmobile, it puts unnecessary strain on your secret identities! for safety, you have to let Damian attend!

Bruce: Hood, you can't just-

Jason: yes i can.

Bruce: Hood.

Jason, quickly: love you Dad.

*shocked silence*

Bruce: w-

*disconnecting ping*

Bruce: WH-???

Dick: ...genius move by Jason there, gotta admit.

Tim: that's the biggest get out of jail free card i think... in existence. he really wanted to see Damian argue with these neighbourhood moms.

Dick: i mean can you blame him? you saw the kid make that lawyer cry.

*a beat*

Tim: B, you ok there? kinda quiet.

*silence*

Dick: yeah i'm gonna head over to your guys' area-

Jason: i'm just gonna say it; making a map of all food trucks that own liquor licenses in Gotham was the best thing we've done this year. i cannot believe that the best chocolate martini i've ever had was served to me in a paper bag from a van.

Dick: gotta love Gotham. like, Bludhaven is my home and all, but there's no beating the creativity and entrepreneurship consistently spat out by money-hungry Gothamites on random week nights.

Jason: *bag crinkling* *satisfied grunt*

Dick: *hum* ok, i have another one.

Jason: shoot.

Dick: if you hadn't been taken in by B, what kind of person do you think you'd be today? like, do you think you'd be more likely to end up a good member of society or do you think you would have gone criminal?

Jason: ooh, ok, that's a good one. i- *considering hum* ...i dunno. on one hand, i like to think i was quite well behaved before i died, so i think if i hadn't been taken in by B then i wouldn't have ended up being resurrected and becoming... this. i probably would have been more traditionally 'good'.

Dick: fair.

Jason: -on the other hand, i met B because i was jacking cars and nicking tires at ten years old. so it's not like i was a fuckin' angel.

Dick: it's interesting you said you wouldn't have been resurrected, not wouldn't have died. do you think the Joker would have still gotten you even if you weren't Robin?

Jason: oh, no, i don't- i don't think the Joker would have killed me, but- but Dick? hey, Dick? *snort* i was never living past sixteen on the streets,

Dick: *wheezes* you don't think you would have made it??

Jason, drawing out: nyooooo,

Dick: *laughing*

Jason: like i said, i was fuckin- i was ten years old, thinkin' i could take on Batman. i had nobody in my corner during that period of time. i firmly believe that if i hadn't been swept up by Bruce then i would have ended up accidentally challenging Two-Face to a fist fight and dying within a year. that's my prediction.

Dick: so you think being Robin saved you?

*pause*

Dick: *cackle*

Jason: lets not- *wheeze* lets not go that far,

Dick: -shut up! *amused* come on, you know what i mean. you think without Robin you wouldn't have reached twenty?

Jason: yeah, that's probably more accurate. what about you? if you hadn't become the first boy wonder, where do you think you would have ended up?

*bag crinkling*

Dick, grave: jail.

Jason: *abrupt choke* *coughing, laughing* w-hat?

Dick, casually: -for either assaulting a police officer, verbal abuse, or second degree murder. attempted or successful, i dunno.

Jason, still struggling to clear his airways: *through laughter* what the fuck?

Dick: *amused* look man, i was an angry kid. you forget i was the fucker that made B think there was a good reason to let children go around beating up criminals; i was bad enough that he figured this was the best option.

Jason: ok- ok fair enough, no, yeah, you were definitely a piece of work when i met you, that's for sure.

Dick: yeah- and that was after the ten or so years of B's version of physical therapy. people always think i was so bubbly and happy when i was Robin, but i think it was actually the adrenaline of fighting people all night--basically got me high.

Jason: oh ok, so you weren't happy, you were just a sociopath in his dream environment?

Dick: no no, B had me tested. just a lot of anger issues and probable unmedicated OCD or ADHD.

Jason, crowing in glee: he had you tested-!

Dick, also laughing: shut up! honestly, that's probably why i didn't like you so much at first, y'know?

Jason: what, because you wanted to kill me?

Dick: no- *bursts out laughing*

Jason: *snickering*

Dick: no- because i thought you were gonna be just like me. B told me he brought in some kid off the streets and i was like, 'fuck great, now there's gonna be another violent little shit in the house'.

Jason: boy did i break the mold,

Dick: yeah turns out you were the complete fucking opposite to me, at first.

Jason: 'at first' *laughing* 'cause i mutated into the violence eventually.

Dick: well yeah, i was right eventually.

Jason: but if you didn't like the idea of me being problematic as a kid, how come you still hated me even when i was so well behaved and quiet?

Dick: *snort* well see- see that was the other issue, in that you being a good kid--which you did to piss me off-

Jason, conceding: -which i did to piss you off,

Dick: -right, but you being a good kid then brought up a different issue for me, because that meant you were blowing up my fucking spot.

Jason, amused: i was what?

Dick: well listen- B had no experience with kids before me, and he sure as hell didn't know what parenting was supposed to be like. i was able to set the fucking curve and tell him that i was normal. you fucking- coming in with all your homework and thank yous and eternal gratitude and fucking Cindy-Lou who personality bullshit,

Jason: *cackling loudly* CINDY-LOU WHO,

Dick: you blew up my spot! you let B know i was part of the fucking problem! you snitched on me for being a problem-child!

Jason, still laughing: *wheeze* oh god, i'm so sorry, i had no idea!

Dick, indignant: YEAH.

Jason: *wheezes again* i get it, fuck i get that. that's what i was like with Tim at first.

Dick: you- right!?! so you know what i mean!

Jason: fuck, yeah man. Bruce's whole thing with me was that i was the Robin that didn't fucking listen to him; i kept ignoring orders and doing my own thing and it got me benched. then i die, come back, and we have the fucking- the military disciplined soldier that Timothy Jackson Drake provided, we have him in my uniform, and i'm watching him through my binoculars like... fuck.

Dick: EXAC- god, he was so good at listening to orders back in the day. it was almost robotic, used to piss me off.

Jason: i was like, 'fuck he's better than me'.

Dick: *wheeze*

Jason, starting to laugh: luckily- luckily it turns out- *slight snort* turns out he sucks too,

Dick: *wheezes even harder*

Jason: dude, when he- when Tim started acting out as Robin, i felt the biggest burst of euphoria known to man.

Dick: *still wheezing*

Jason: like-, i never had to worry about Damian, you know? i raised that kid. i've seen the shit he does. i've watched him try to lie to my face about whether or not he stole and used my katana while holding his bleeding arm. i always had faith that Damian was going to be a little bitch. but Tim?! i turned up to him being like that and i was like... fuck. he's gonna make us all look shit, isn't he?

Dick: i know, it really- it was a good day for the Wayne children when we realised Tim was just as much a dickhead as we all are. a true miracle.

Jason: *humming casually* and then he tried to commit genocide in the league of assassins and we were like shit fuck no wait too much not like that-

Dick: *wheezes*

*distant burglar alarm*

Jason and Dick: *instant groans*

Dick: god-DAMMIT, can't they see we're on BREAK?

Jason: *limbs clicking* *tired grunt* alright, alright, let's get this over with. you good to- can you walk? you had more van-cocktails than me.

Dick: *also grunting* what am i, a pussy? oh- woah-

Jason: woah- hold on, let me- hold my arm. *snickering* god this fight is gonna be so funny.

assdhghldhgg

Clark standing guard at the medbay door: “we can’t let you in. his secret identity could be—”

Dick: “Bruce Wayne.”

Clark: “—what?”

If Amity Park has one rule for survival, it's commit to the bit. Whose bit?

Everyone's.

You go to Ember's concerts even though there's a better than even chance of being hypnotized. When Technus turns up you obligingly shriek about how terrifying unfeeling machines are. If Boxy's around, you put up a spirited but ultimately futile fight to protect your precious, valuable boxes.

You confirm it when your neighbor tells the GIW that the ghost went thataway, officer. Phantom says the weird eye-ghosts that are stalking him are delusional and he is not an authority figure of any kind, you agree that he'd be the one to know best. The Fentons are ranting about their latest weapons, you oooh and ahhh over their brilliant creation.

Your eyes glow because of special effect contacts you're testing, anyone who knows you can testify to that.

Don't run, don't break the rules, and heaven help you if a ghost decides you've disrespected their obsession. It doesn't matter how much time passes, they might not chase you, but they will remember the insult.

Ghosts are never more dangerous than when their obsession is disrupted. So smile and nod, or shriek and cower, and play the role you're cast in. You'll get out alright.

**

Gotham natives have a word for people who play along with a rogue's plan instead of getting out at the first available opportunity: morons. The closer you are to a rogue, the greater the danger, and none of them will spare you just because you decided to 'see where this was going'.

Damian's claim is that the manor is so big and Damian's so good at remaining hidden that he could live in the manor without anybody else there clocking him easy. Jason just wants to see how long he can actually go because in his mind the longer Bruce goes without realising he has Damian in the house, the funnier the reveal will be. he's actually kinda rooting for Damian purely because it's funnier if he pulls it off for a really long time first. then Jason can snitch on him and the fall-out will be glorious.

he lasts about four months.

two weeks in and Alfred becomes suspicious, but chooses to believe that it's raccoons or pigeons in the attic because then he doesn't have to get involved. and he really doesn't want to get involved.

a month in and Damian almost gets caught by Tim while trying to steal some food in the middle of the night and getting cornered in the kitchen, but Tim hadn't slept in three days and was high on cold medicine at the time so he assumed that Damian was actually a hallucination of Bruce as a child, and all he did was stare Damian directly in the eye and solemnly tell him 'never ask your parents to go see a movie with you.' before going to pass out in the study.

two months in and Damian has gotten into a rhythm with it. feeling unchallenged, he starts waiting for Bruce to fall asleep in front of the batcomputer during hard cases so he can sneak out from the walls and fix whatever Bruce is getting wrong and solving the case before he wakes up.

three months in and Dick runs into him while sneaking in through a side door so he can grab some stuff from his bedroom without having to talk to Bruce, but Damian bullshits that he's one of Tim's school friends visiting to complete a school project, and Dick gives him twenty dollars to promise that he won't tell anybody Dick is in the building.

four months in and he gets cocky; starts ordering packages to the manor addressed to himself. Alfred asks Bruce at the dinner table why they've received an amazon package for 'Damian Wayne' and nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about. the next night the Red Hood snitches and asks how 'Damian's doing' and Bruce becomes convinced that Hood has the manor bugged. demands a full sweep of the building. Tim comes across Damian napping in a hammock in the attic wearing Tim's presumed-lost clothes next to a pile of supremely confidential files stolen from the batcave.

Damian: it's just a night or two, and it's not like Father doesn't have spare bedrooms available. Jason: that's not the issue, the issue is that i don't want them to fucking know i'm here. Damian: ok so i'll distract them and you can sneak in the back entrance. Jason, flatly: you want me to sneak into my old house to spend the night, when everybody thinks i'm dead and i want it to stay that way? Damian: i'm just saying that his long lost blood son showing up is a good distraction, and it IS a big manor. i'll bet you anything that i could keep you hidden in there for as long as you needed. Jason: you fucking could not. Damian: i could. Jason: could not. Damian: i could and i'll bet fifty dollars on it. Jason: Jason: Jason: alright.

Damian ends up keeping Jason hidden in Bruce's own house like a kid trying to hide a puppy they found on the street in the back of their closet. he's sneaking Jason food and building him a little hidey-hole in the attic above his bedroom and literally nobody else in the manor has a single fucking clue. Jason already knows all the hidey-holes and secret passages from when he lived there anyway, so it turns out not to be as hard as he thought.

to be clear, he still becomes the Red Hood. he's not spending every second in the manor; he's sneaking in and out on a daily basis while he sets up a rulership in Crime Alley. it gets to the point where he fully has his own apartment that he could move into at any point, but he and Damian are being so stubborn about this bet that he's just staying at the manor anyway to prove that eventually they'll figure it out. plus it's starting to get really fucking funny because he's started playing ominous ghost sounds in the ceiling above Tim's room and the poor guy fully thinks he's being haunted by his predecessor's ghost. a fact which is almost correct.

the only thing that's frustrating the hell out of Jason is the fact that after every single interaction with the bats, no matter how exhausted he is from working all night, he has to watch Bruce drive the others right back home while he waits and then has to walk back by himself. eventually there's an arkham breakout and it's so bad that the bats are readily accepting Hood's help with dealing with it and it takes so fucking long to sort everything out that when it's finally over and they're ready to 'go their separate ways', Jason is so genuinely dead on his feet/in pain and need of sleep that he stops caring about everything. Bruce tells the bats to get in the batmobile and Jason just trudges over and slides in next to Tim.

everybody freezes and. straight does not know how to respond. Jason's just half-asleep already leaning his head against the window, and Bruce eventually has to clear his throat and ask like "...would you like a ride home, Hood?" and Jason just grunts.

"where do you live?"

"Wayne Manor," Jason mumbles, barely conscious. the bats all bluescreen apart from Damian who is so resigned to his big brother's idiocy at this point that he just tells them to take him back to the cave with them.

"just- just bring him. look at him. what trouble is he going to cause? he's tired, Father. let him rest."

Bruce is... so confused. and so concerned. but if Hood's injured then what harm is there in letting him get checked over and sleep the worst off in the batcave medical suite? he did help out a lot that night, after all. except when they get to the cave Bruce and Dick start preparing to carry the asleep Red Hood onto a medical bed when Damian just kicks him in the ribs and says 'we're home', and they watch in baffled fucking silence as Hood wakes up, blearily blinks while he takes in his surroundings, and then gets up to start trudging straight up and into the manor.

the others can do nothing but watch in quiet disbelief as Hood proceeds to go through the manor like he truly knows it, gets to Damian's bedroom, and then sleepily climbs up through a secret passage in the ceiling that, when Bruce pokes his head into, reveals a fully renovated bedroom filled with the Red Hood's gear and personal possessions. Hood flops down onto the bed and passes out immediately. Damian just bids Hood a good night and calmly closes the opening behind him, before turning to face the incredulous faces of his entire family staring at him like he's a fucking alien. he narrows his eyes.

"we will talk about it. tomorrow."

"Damian-"

"we are all tired." Damian determines. "for now, let him sleep."

"IN OUR HOUSE-"

"WE WILL DISCUSS THIS TOMORROW."

the next morning Jason wakes up at like. noon. and remembers the night before. and he crawls down into Damian's room to nudge him awake and firmly tell him 'i am not giving you fifty dollars'.