Critical Role sideblog located @sparring-spirals. You should prooobably redirect there, there isn't really anything interesting here. Posts about whatever thing Im fixated on at the time, shitposts, stuff Im keeping for reference, and occasional pieces of writing. And also sporadic complaining. Sorry.
practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance
“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!
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being SO fucking normal about pokopia, having just completed the storyline. being FINE and REGULAR about it. god .
got it in part because of the comparison to mystery dungeon character voices and somehow was still surprised to get CLOTHESLINED by emotion, mystery dungeon style.
- oho here is your fun little pokemon game that is a cross between animal crossing and minecraft
- WRONG. EMOTIONS BE UPON YE
- so emotional right back around to a little aggressive about it. after everything you send off the rocket by accident and it travels all the ways out and. it hits the pod. the human sees! the fucking photo of the pokemon well and okay
- imagine the fucking. decades. years. or something. you left your home and your beloved pokemon and you maybe cant get back because of fuel or because you dont know if earth is safe or not
- and you dont know if THEYRE okay. and its a call everyone made, right, the pokemon had to stay behind. but you loved them, and you couldnt even explain to them why you left, you couldnt even say goodbye properly, you just deposited them and hoped with every fiber of your being they were okay
- but you wouldnt know. You just left them on a dying planet and you couldnt even say goodbye.
- maybe you think youve killed them, privately. the plan was to send someone back periodically to check on it. we know that stopped working. at this point its likely the humans didnt think they could get back at all.
- so maybe youre sure youve killed them. theyd sleep forever. you didnt even get to say goodbye and they would just- sit in those PC's as the world rusts away until they all. blink out of existence.
- you love them and theyre all good as dead.
- and then one day a shuttle- a beat up, human made shuttle comes rattling along, and its drifting aimlessly and you- what do you even think. i dont even know.
- but you open it and- a photo drifts out. no kiving creatures, but a photo, too new and odd to be anything other than recent. you thought you left them for dead, and you have a photo. pokemon partying, or its your beloved ditto doing itsv best impression of you, or its pokemon in front of clumsily made furniture or houses clearly modeled after everything you left behind.
- you think youve killed them and theyre long past gone and you get an unmanned spaceship and a photos that says: theyre okay, theyre well, theyre waiting. theyre making things that look like yours, painstakingly crafted
- oh my GODDDD. fuck.
- okay backtracking. even from the start, what a gut punch. it intros with- what did your trainer look like? like this? what did they used to call you? I bet you miss them terribly, huh? i miss mine too.
- something about love in reflection and imitation and sharing, right. you take on the guise of your trainer who you love and miss and want to see again. "i bet you miss them, dont you?"
- in every single town. they used to do this, right? they used to enjoy this, right? they used to like this. we dont quite understand why, but maybe if we do it, they'll come back. maybe if we put out all these things we know theyll love, theyll find their way back.
- (surely they want to come back, right? we want them to. if we just make it enticing enough, theyll come back. they have to.)
- because if they dont, and they want to. it means they cant and it means-
- means they wont, and-
- lets throw a party, like they used to, and maybe wherever they are, theyll see it and come back. lets build a building higher than we can imagine, surely theyll see it. lets make houses and warm spaces and. somewhere inviting and lovely to come back to. so if they want to. it will be ready.
- something about love across misunderstanding, across translations, about- this is the shape, of what you love, and i dont quite get it but i love it because i know you did. its yours and you are mine and so this can be mine too. fuck, man, as if i was ever normal about that as a concept and its just a whole game of it. you used to love these books and electronics and funny little hats. if i put them out maybe youll come by to enjoy them. maybe i enjoy that hope. maybe i enjoy them because theyre entertaining. maybe i enjoy them because i look at them and think of you.
- fuck me, man, just the concept of. we dont need houses, but humans loved them- if we build a nice and lovely space for the ones who are here, maybe everyone else will follow.
- i love you and i miss you and i will place your print on everything around me and pour myself into recreating things i remember of you, from you, for you, and even if you dont come back the love still built all of this, and transformed my world and landscape and made the world more lovely.
- i love you and miss you and i will put my two hands to work making sure that reflects in a better world for everyone here.
- and it works. it works. it works.
- god i need to sleep so my proper spiel on mechanics and story flow and dialogue will need to wait a day along with the "LMAO THEY DID ZERO DAWN BUT POKEMON", but like. fuck. a game about grief and love and loving. what a fucking game. fucking pokopia. fucking minecraft animal crossing game that hits you with feelings. what a time
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im bad to argue with because i have jesters blood if you misintepret me i'll just go along with it. when i was a teenager i was trying to explain the concept of the heterosexual default to someone and they were like "so you think everyone should become bisexual?" and i was like. what the hell sure. lets have legally enforced bisexuality. i'll die on a hill for the bit dont fuck with me.
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being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.
(this post is about putting all your time, energy, and care into one relationship, about staking all your happiness on a romantic relationship, effectively making the entirety of your joy and stability dependent on one person who could exit your life for any number of reasons no matter how great the relationship seems. it’s about the societal expectation to build your entire social life around one long term relationship, putting all your eggs in that basket, so to speak, instead of tending to larger social network and maintaining a variety of strong connections so that even if one very important relationship comes to an end, you won’t be losing your whole social life in one fell swoop.)
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People who work within a system: okay so studies show that the normal system works 90% of the time, but because it’s very bad when it doesn’t work, we’ve set up a process to manage those outliers. We need six well-trained workers to run the system 100% of the time without any serious incidents.
CEOs and politicians, every time: Well i just saw it go right twice in a row which means the normal system which you say works 90% of the time actually works 100% of the time. We’re cutting the team down to one person pulling 18 hour shifts without breaks