this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

gracie abrams

if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
$LAYYYTER
noise dept.

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Interview Vampire Daily

Product Placement

ellievsbear
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Discoholic 🪩

Origami Around
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines
official daine visual archive
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@coffeeholic93
this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

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“hey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worrying” “well ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD you’d see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______” YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.
“you can’t blame breeders for breeding to standard :/“ i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
im gonna cry this person is so sweet to their fish

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I cannot describe how much I laughed at this.
Sound is VERY important.
@kittybroker how much for this absolutely famished little bean ?
Feed this hungry little baby for the low low price of only $3.89!
me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home
me when I get home:
me every single week: I'll do it on the weekend!
me the entire weekend:
all of us rn
Nature Documentary: these deep sea creatures can withstand crushing pressures of thousands of pounds per square inch!
Me: they’re not withstanding a goddamn thing. The pressure is a part of them. Their interiors and exteriors are equalized. Just because your respiratory system is built around a pair of fragile poppable bubbles-
You don’t know me
kind of obsessed with this old man on instagram - he gets so few interactions on any of his posts but he's always posting from some kind of bird-filled maritime situation with club music playing in the background
My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.
Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

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Thinking about Qifrey purposefully recruiting kids who were labeled as "problems" in order to maximize his own stress but instead he's just living this post:
He eat a nemon
mice are having sex in my walls :(
the mice are fucking AND now i'm getting heckled
@oyavaski i think the funniest part of this is you thinking that this is fake because.....some of us are the same age and we have normal tumblr names i guess lmao????
never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are
you fucked those mice yourself
I fucked those mice myself
anders making straight male gamers uncomfortable is my #aesthetic

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my kitty cat was wandering around going ‘mrrph?” so i was like “in here!” he goes “mrrph!” shoves open my bedroom door with his big round head and FLOPS on me. as in hard enough that he made a little “oof” noise when he did it. followed by a category five purring event. there’s good in this world mr frodo etc
the weather determines if I’m going to be evil