and Maya!

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

the weird looks i get from people when i say i feed my dogs purina is so funny like im sorry im not jumping on the salmonella train or the "give your dogs REAL food that makes their pancreas kill itself" train

and if you say something about how your vet says purina is good you get to watch the person you're talking to animorph into rfk jr for dogs

"Boy dogs are more affectionate than girl dogs-" "girl dogs love you, boy dogs are IN love with you-" Wrong. The only thing my boy dog does better than a girl dog is piss on himself

I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon