Shiny

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

If you're hypermobile, be especially gentle.

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

Jolene

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

thinking fondly of the time that my girlfriend heard the opening bars of holding out for a hero at the gay bar and asked "is this touhou music?"

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

This post got weird

This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasn’t a destination so much as a jumping off point.

I’ve never been so surprised not to encounter the word “smooth” in a text post

goodnight goblins. goodnight ghouls. goodnight screaming tomes and scrolls. goodnight floating glowing eye. goodnight my dear homunculi. goodnight imps and spectral wraiths. goodnight false god that feeds on faith. goodnight bony skeletons. goodnight inert collapsing sun. goodnight monster made of mud. goodnight vampires drinking blood. i wish you all good evil-night. and please do let the bed bugs bite

@monstrousagonies

I support all of you biting bigots. Do that.

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!