can't be sure that i'll make it

“Westerners are fond of the saying ‘Life isn’t fair.’ Then, they end in snide triumphant: ‘So get used to it!’ What a cruel, sadistic notion to revel in! What a terrible, patriarchal response to a child’s budding sense of ethics. Announce to an Iroquois, ‘Life isn’t fair,’ and her response will be: ‘Then make it fair!’” –Barbara Alice Mann

[ID: panel from Calvin and Hobbes in which Calvin’s mom says, “Life could be worse, Calvin” and Calvin responds, “Life could be a lot better, too!”]

I love people who have specific characters that are their "no one understands this character like me. not even the writers." because they're genuinely not joking. the way they understand those specific characters is so profound that it'll change your entire veiw.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

i know every phone number

do you know who they all belong to?

everyone that has phones

what's mine

hole in the ground for extracting minerals

can you tell me what my phone number is?

i can basically do whatever i want

be honest am i going to scale well late game?

(tripping over my own toys) who the fuck closed last night

@funnier-as-a-system

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life