bigmouth strikes again

Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.

*trying to flirt* haha i bet ur guts look soooo pretty i bet u have the greatest bones ever. ur beating heart would be so sexy to hold in my hands i would be so gentle with it. why are you running

truly so humbled by a man who kills and kills and knows ruthlessness and cruelty like it’s his own only to go home to his wife and hold her heart in the palms of his hands with utmost tenderness

“yeah that big scary weapon of a man retired and now he just gardens at home with his wife all day” is truly the goal

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"