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$495,000/5 br/4.5 ba

Built in 1886

Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl... but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.

SOURCE

he figures out he's gonna Keep Coming Back no matter what when Alfred asks him to help clean the roof and while alone scrubbing out gutters he fucks up and falls off the ladder; completely snaps his neck.

he wakes up like twenty minutes later all healed and instead of freaking out, he decides that he's been through so much shit and his life is already so goddamn weird that honestly? so what if he can't die.

still concerns the fuck out of the rest of the family when jason wanders in a few hours later rubbing out the crick in his neck and when bruce asks how the roof went he goes "yeah, gutters clean. also i think i fixed death?"

"...jason what could that possibly mean." dick asks from across the room. jason shrugs.

"I dunno. fixed it."

he continues to make vague-ass uncaring comments that baffle the fuck out of everybody for the next few weeks, and they don't figure out what the hell he's talking about until one patrol they get into one of those tricky 'locked in a room and have to pick one of you to die' situations and jason just whistles, goes "man this would suck if i hadn't already fixed death," and then proceeds to shoot himself in the face in front of all the horrified bats.

he wakes up fifteen minutes later to bruce and dick having a shared panic attack on the floor, tim desperately trying to calm them down, and damian standing over him looking supremely disappointed as he goes "fucking 'fixed death' todd?? that's the only way you could think of phrasing it? i thought your special interest was fucking literacy."