ghidora apologist

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

had a dream that I was arguing with someone who insisted that kissing could be platonic but ONLY within a very specific mathematical range of angles and percentages of lip contact. like a level of granularity you'd need a protractor to figure out. this wasn't about personal comfort, it was a universal law. and I was getting really mad and eventually yelled "TONGUE can be platonic!!" and now I understand how ancient philosophers felt when they had revelations of truth revealed to them in a dream

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

They should do a sad ant with bindle emoji. one of my more frequent emotions for sure

Stealing this from twitter but I liked the concept: put in the tags where were your 8 great-grandparents from (given modern borders) ?

i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole

when the song tackles you to the ground and starts beating the ever loving shit out of you

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.