Old Roses and Applique

The Amur Leopard and Clouded Leopard (which recently celebrated its 50th cub born at the zoo!)

The Sumatran Tiger

The Red Ruffed Lemur and Ring-Tailed Lemur

The Cotton-Top Tamarin and White-Cheeked Gibbon

The Colobus Monkey and De Brazza’s Monkey

And the Mexican Spider Monkey!

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

CALL YOUR SENATORS!!!

But sometimes I will go to the kitchen to make myself a little snack or do some 3am baking, because I'm awake and if I take ten minutes to mix up some dough or batter, halfway through my workday I can make delicious fresh pizza or nice pastry, like a waffle or a popover. Dearborn recognizes when Dad's morning is about to have a change of venue and she knows there's a chance I'll sit down on the sofa, which is the designated Dearborn Cuddles event space, so she'll excitedly run ahead to make sure I understand her enthusiasm for this possibility.

But this morning, after I dumped her off the desk, she timed it wrong. She started to run ahead of me just as I stepped away from the desk, and my foot as I pivoted was perfectly timed to punt her off her feet.

It wasn't a kick, she didn't skid or fall over. My foot came up under her belly between her front and back legs and just hooked all seven pounds of her aloft. She went sailing through the air, much to the horror of both myself and her sister, who promptly leapt off the bed and hid in the closet because Dad just levitated Deebs. That girl got hang time. She might have set a record for longest unaided flight by a cat. I didn't even see her land because there weren't any lights on, she just flew into the outer darkness of the bedroom hallway.

I checked her over and she's fine, now resting across my ankles at the foot of my bed. She doesn't seem hurt physically or even mad at me. It happened so fast she might not have realized it was me who fired her past the goalposts. She might think gravity just went sideways for a few seconds. Cats don't always have a firm grasp of physics and it's not like I habitually attempt to make field goals with mine.

I feel bad, but the sight of her flying wildly into the shadows is less traumatic and more comedic than it probably should be. Poor little tortie kickball.

Xoxo

-Designer

I know what I am doing is wrong

I know there is an activity that looks similar that is not wrong