an ongoing love letter to myself

a convo in the replies of a post where one of them is hidden because i blocked them and the other one makes a comment that i cant possibly understand due to how out of context it is is funny to me every single time

Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway

one time when i was a kid i was dared to poke myself in the eye with a pencil. i’m very autistic and didn’t realize that they didn’t actually expect me to do it, so i did it. with the lead end. it hurt a fuck ton and the other kids went and tattled on me for doing it (don’t know why they did that). the three of them got in trouble for telling me to do something that would injure me, and i got in trouble for doing it. i had to go to the doctor and they asked me which side i used and for some reason i thought i would get in more trouble if i told them i used the lead end and so i lied and said it was the eraser. the doctor (very nice lady) had to flip my eyelids up because she had to make sure that i didn’t get any eraser shavings in my eye (bad. i’d go blind). i ended up being fine despite that, but i was so intrigued by the feeling of my eyelids flipping up that i decided to try to do it myself when i got home. in the bathroom mirror i just flipped my eyelids inside and out until they hurt. i was a petty shithead so with my new found power i decided to get revenge on the kids who told me to poke my eye with a pencil. i brought sunglasses to school and wore them all day and told my teacher it was because i was at the eye doctor yesterday and she believed it. at lunch one of my bullies asked what was up with the sunglasses. i was ready for this moment. before we went to lunch i flipped my eyelids. i took my sunglasses off and she was horrified. i told her this was the result of her actions. she cried so loud a lunch attendant came over and was like “wtf is happening” and then she saw my eye and probably thought something along the lines of “oh no this poor disabled child is being victimized by this crying girl” because she was babbling about my eye being messed up. we weren’t aloud to speak to each other for the rest of the year. i ended up moving away fairly shortly after and somewhat recently returned to my hometown where this all happened. you’ll never guess who i ran into at the corner store. yeah. it was flavor flav. at my local bodega. crazy small world lol