hags for doomed space yaoi

OVERRATED AND NOT WORTH IT

- drinking a whole lot: there are no words for the evil combo that is drunk and nauseous. feeling like everything is a video game running on garbage fps and wifi alongside being sick to your stomach SUCKS. it sucks and then it keeps on sucking there are zero benefits to reaching this level of drunkenness, steer well away from it. if you do drink to this excess, let yourself throw up because it is better out than in, and then pound that gatorade like your life depends on it. I’ve been in the absolute pits and managed to go to classes the next day through the life changing magic of lots of throwing up and then 3 full size glacier freeze gatorades.

- quickies in closets and such: hot as fuck in fiction/porn, terrible in practice. if you plan it out in advance in detail it is Feasible, but a spontaneous quickie in an enclosed space is rarely if ever enjoyable.

- situationships: as the omelas child of tumblr aka batmanisagatewaydrug said, either talk about it or break up. if an interpersonal relationship is causing you strife, either discuss the issues and resolve them or end the interpersonal relationship. life is too short to let confusion linger. solve your problems as soon as you identify them, and this goes for situationships.

- smoking and/or vaping: if you haven’t started, don’t start. you will be older someday and cancer is a fucking bitch and so is COPD. the longer you keep the habit up the more likely you are to have to face one of the two. nicotine gives you a problem and sells you the solution. don’t start, and if you’ve started, it is worth it to consider quitting. depending on where you are, there may be programs to ease your way. your old person self will for sure thank you.

OVERRATED AND IT DEPENDS

- smoking weed: what they don’t tell you is that you might just be scared the whole time. you might be more chill than usual also which can be nice, but there’s a lot of variation in how you may react to which strains and which amounts. tread lightly but don’t be too scared

- hookups: often quite hot and fun. most important thing is to (a) spare a thought to preventing transmitted infections because one of those can ruin your whole month and (b) make sure the rest of your life is going ok before embarking. from experience, having a whole bunch of hookups while other things are going wrong can actually suck mega ass. but if things are going good, go for it because it can rock.

- clubbing: it can be really fun but the secret to having the most fun is not in the music or the outfit or the drinks, it’s actually in the footwear. Invest in the kinds of shoes worn by nurses and brain surgeons—they don’t look cool but you will be able to party all night while your stiletto/cool man shoe clad friends suffer. not wearing heels is not enough: your docs and your chucks and your whatever else shoes will fail you. Get some hokas or new balances and you’ll be right as rain and may occasionally get cash offers exceeding the value of your shoes from desperate clubbers wanting to trade (this has forreal happened to me)

getting injured: life is best if you take risks while you’re young enough to heal from them, but your spine and skull can’t really take any injuries the way the rest of your body can. Keep those safe at all times when you do silly things that might break you some bones. break them bones but wear a helmet even if it feels stupid. old style skater helmets look cool while also keeping your brain from being bungled.

RATED EXACTLY RIGHT/UNDERRATED

- skinny dipping: they’re so unbelievably right about this, you should do it as soon as possible. Rivers and lakes are great candidates, strip well outside the splash zone and then take a dive, it’s amazing. Cannot recommend highly enough.

- hobby groups: the more cringe it sounds, the more it will improve your life if you participate. go swing dancing with strangers. join a knitting group. sit down with a magic the gathering group every week. these opportunities usually come from flyers on your local hipster cafe bulletin board or library or other such things, and while it’s easier to ignore them because you’re surely too awkward to have fun, your life will be improved x100 if you attend these types of events. Especially if the main demographic is older folks: if there was ever a cheat code for being a Cooler Person, it is spending time learning a dying art like quilting or birdwatching or whittling from old folks and listening to their wisdom. Learn to face any anxiety you might have because this will change your life.

getting drunk and telling your friends you love them: cant recommend this one enough. have a few shots or some cups of wine and then tell your beloved friends exactly what you think about them. In vino veritas, or whatever the saying is, and if your friends also drink this can be a wonderful reciprocal experience. But it doesn’t even have to be: you can also drunk text your friends to tell them all the coolest things about them (honestly, pro tip is that you don’t even need to be drunk to do this: being the guy who often gives honest compliments is a cherished and hallowed role in society thst is shockingly easy to fill).