make like a library and book

oh you watched a movie I recommended????? you listened to a song I told you about ?????? you read one of my favourite books ?????? do you know that I would literally kill for you ????? let's drink each others blood

you can make friends online and you will be rewarded with pictures of their cats

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

You can lie when you name things

Cargo shorts are one of the ugliest clothes ever invented. Next to overalls.

Cargo Shorts are useful when you’re meeting a white bear in the desert and have to carry Gun Oil, condoms, weed, a crowler of craft beer and your 3DS XL with pokemon moon so

Just carry a purse…

But I told him I was masc :(

:(

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

‘how would other people describe you’ why would i know this

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

where is transgender flag "I'M TOO FAT FOR THIS HEAT"

it's that time of the year again folks

I’m the first and last person in my bloodline with a tumblr blog