Shitpost Central

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

i lied. put your clothes back off, I do actually like sex

What the fuck does the back end of this website look like

Say you'll stay with me blogging until the horse poll closes

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

Stop today is my coworker’s last day and he made a little doodle of me for a parting gift it’s so cute 😭😭😭

that's a cat ✅️

I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb