Shitpost Central

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

i lied. put your clothes back off, I do actually like sex

What the fuck does the back end of this website look like

Say you'll stay with me blogging until the horse poll closes

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

Stop today is my coworker’s last day and he made a little doodle of me for a parting gift it’s so cute 😭😭😭

that's a cat ✅️

I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

the TSA's dick detector is the epitome of security theater. how many times have you ACTUALLY caught a woman trying to smuggle a small bomb in her panties

i mean average sized bomb

FREE ME!!!!!!! Idk from what...I just want to be free from literally everything

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

Something I think about a lot is when dj khaled spent a day lost at sea on a jet ski literally just because he drove away and got lost and started live posting about it and as he got increasingly panicked he started making like inspirational insta stories about his opps wanting him to fail even though he was entirely responsible for the situation and just started saying shit like “they don’t want you to WIN. they don’t want you to get found when you’re lost at sea in the dark”