Shitpost Central

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of Pepsi.]

that's arugula

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of arugula]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

french people will jacque ouffe their beauxnarè

born to press buttons

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

where do people get energy from

Are there any redeeming qualities about sword and shield?? Like at all???

a sword allows for quick blows while a shield can deflect projectiles and some attacks.

I knew some dumb mother fucker was gonna reblog this about the art of combat. Blocked and unfollowed.

shot for my beliefs. bled like a dog

Fighting the urge to loudly exclaim "cum in my butt boys. I'm done here" after I finish every single task

daddy needs his skin picking time

Isn’t boomerang like.. free?

She can’t afford it

I can’t afford it

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

happy 10 year anniversary to the puppet master that cursed my dick