wadda hell….. bulbasaur

if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options

Can I say something

The word Ottawa looks like a caterpillar

having ADHD means you know a person who also has ADHD but it's somehow the most debilitating ADHD of anyone who's ever lived and they smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day and drink 3 double-shot espressos by 10 am with more to come by noon and when they see you take your adderall they're like "my doctor prescribed me that but i don't want to become dependent on medication to function."

me @ my friend while they down their 5th can of monster energy before 6 PM: wouldn't it be cool if scientists could somehow distill stimulants into an easy-to-swallow once a day package that won't Harm you

I love not playing along

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

Oh HELL yes.

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

Reblog this version

no one is coming to Save you but there are probably people coming to Help you and that rocks. embrace it

you're disabled? oh youre so brave, i could never imagine living like that! youre so strong for continuing to exist while disabled. it could never be me. i would seriously hate my life if i was in your position. yeah i straight up wouldn't want to be alive if that were me. have you thought about how i feel about your condition? how i wouldn't wanna be alive if i were in your shoes? im just saying. you're so brave.

The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

Refusal of the Call

every r/relationship_advice post: first of all I want to clarify I could not ask for a more perfect and loving husband. anyway every day he tries to kill me,

ok you know what mommy’s sick and tired of your poor reading comprehension