wadda hell….. bulbasaur

hmm... this highly personal vent post seems like the perfect place to lay my roleplay egg...

we got the auteur cookie cake baker for my siblings birthday im afraid

it wasnt supposed to say baby. why did they add that?

I know I already made a post to this effect but it's so baffling to me when someone defends the fact that headphone jacks are slowly but surely getting phased out by smartphone manufacturers with some variations of "wireless headphones are more convenient anyway" bc like. If we're talking about convenience what I like about wired headphones is that they conveniently have a single plug that makes the same damn pair of headphones universally compatible with every single audio-output-capable device I own, from my phone and my computer to my fucking gameboy and my casette player, it doesn't get any more convenient than that.

i think ao3 should have a feature like an anonymous kudos but instead of kudos its "i jorked it to completion" and you can leave as many of these as you want and obviously authors would opt-in to this feature on a per-fic basis but like. i want the stats, you know.

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion