Fulgrim returning to the Emperor’s Children after finding the lizard alien sex demon sword™:

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@call-me-schmidt
Fulgrim returning to the Emperor’s Children after finding the lizard alien sex demon sword™:

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I take no credit for this idea. My friend made the joke and its been living rent free in my head for actual months.
can you make more Borderlands taglines for 40K please
FERRUS THE GORGON (It's Foreshadowing)
FULGRIM THE PERSEUS PHOENIX (See, We Told You)
COMMISSAR CIAPHAS CAIN, CUNNING CRIMSON CRYBABY AND HIS CRASS AND CRUNCHY COMRADE
SKARBRAND (Needs to Axe You a Question)
SUPREME GRANDMASTER AZRAEL (Bad Cop)
INTERROGATOR-CHAPLAIN ASMODAI (Worse Cop. Like Way Worse)
MARNEUS CALGAR (Look, Ma, No Hands!)
PRIMARIS CALGAR (Look, Ma, Hands!)
KHAYON THE BLACK (Sees Dead People)
LHEOR FIREFIST (Makes Dead People)
TELEMACHON LYRAS (Not Allowed Near Dead People)
TRAJANN VALORIS (Oh, You’re Approaching Him?)
Primarchs
Ferrus Manus

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honestly ferrus would love the jokes about his death let's be honest. I mean he would be mad as fuck about it but they'd be soooo funny to him. if it was someone else dying he would not wait before kicking off the comedy
Today I learned that the cutest thing about Ferrus Manus is that he built a giant arena in the middle of his flagship for the express purpose of Big Money Primarch Wrestling. The saddest thing is that nobody ever took him up on the offer.
Ferrus Manus spread the story about melting the alien in magma to hide the fact that he got his silver hand from slapping the cheeks of his C’tan ex
So what you’re saying is that 10,000 years of Astartes have been cutting their hands off in the name of alien booty?
You know what, that’s completely valid. 110% respect it
Jojo reference
SANGUINIUS AND SZAREKH AT THE COLDPLAY CONCERT?! Oh the scandal!
“They’re either really shy or they’re having an affair”
EHAHAHAHAHA IT GOT BETTER
Holy crap this is AMAZINT

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One thing i find really interesting is the different Legions relationships to their Primarchs as father figures. I’m not an expert on most, but there’s clearly a huge spectrum. Dorn allows his sons to openly call him ‘father’, Magnus operates in more of a mentor role than a parental one, Ferrus Manus is mourned for his absence but also actively criticized by his sons for his mistakes up to his death. Mortarion is an uncomplicated savior figure for most of his Legion save Typhus, and Sanguinius is absolutely adored. The dynamics are fascinating.
The Red Angel and the Golden
By Art of Shimhaq
Love Sanguinius’ expression here, that’s exactly the face I give when I see a really pretty citrus tree in the distance. Angron on the other hand, I make that face when I have the worst turn imaginable on the tabletop. Like “yeah! Fuck me up!”
Not to be an emperor stan, but I'm still miffed that for his throne-bound skeleton body, they didn't go with all out in dressing him up
Like you've seen those catacomb saints?? I really feel like they should've went that route instead of a imortan joe with a giant red bulb and tube look
Just sayin, plus I feel this would fit more into the irony of being a "God Emperor". Like what says divine like a 15ft skeleton shoved into ancient terran gilded armor in a jewel encrusted glass box
Also if you aren't squeamish about skeletons, catacomb saints look amazing and badass so check em out
Reminds me someone [3]
The Emperor creating a harem giant musclebound superhuman men is like his only relatable trait because I'd do thw exact same thing in his position.
That’s valid, anon.

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I was left alone again