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@call-me-schmidt

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The recent hot VS cold polls have made me realise that a lot of people have no idea how to cool down.
As someone from a hot country that's regularly on fire, here's some tips:
WATER IS YOUR FRIEND! WATER! IS! YOUR! FRIEND! You can transfer SO much heat into this bad boy! You cannot cool down without water!
Wrists under the cold tap. Splash your face and the back of your neck. Fan yourself.
In some countries you can buy a little handeld fan with a water sprayer.
Damp tea towel around the neck. Stick an ice pack in there on hotter days.
Half fill a water bottle with water, stick in freezer. If you use a bottle with a straw, make sure it's lying on its side with the straw side up and out of the water. When frozen top up the rest of the way with tap water and off you go.
Desperate to cool off? Wet T-shirt. Sit in front of a fan. This will nuke it, just don't get hypothermia and don't fall asleep like this.
Cold showers are also your friend in summer. Some people get psyched up by these. Personally, I sleep like a baby, so I'm good to have them before bed. Just keep in mind that it takes a bit of time for the cool to circulate, so your body will tell you that you're colder than you actually are. I find that when I have cold showers I need to step out of the spray when I think I'm cold... I'll just wait, and thirty seconds later the temperature has evened out and I actually need to step under again. Rinse and repeat until you maintain coolness even after stepping out for a bit.
If you can't do cold showers, turn the cold shower on anyway and just stick your arms under. When they're cold, lift your arms up above your head. The sensation of cool blood draining into your body is fucking weird and kinda unpleasant but less unpleasant than being hot.
Feet in a tub of water with ice. Blood naturally flows to your extremities when hot, so take advantage of this. If you don't have a tub of ice water, sticking a wet rag on your feet in front of the fan works too, it's the less powerful version of the wet T-shirt.
Drinks lots of water but make sure that water has electrolytes as well. Stay in the shade.
Keep air circulating. Fans don't actually cool rooms down, they just help transfer heat from your body to the moisture on your skin or the air via evaporative cooling.
Block north facing windows early in the morning so the sun doesn't get in. If you're in the northern hemisphere, this is opposite for you. Keep in mind that if your home is brick, the bricks will still heat up and slowly release heat into your home even after the sun goes down so this will only do so much.
If it's hotter inside than outside, close all your windows but two, making sure they're on opposite sides of the house/unit you're in. Point a fan out of one window, making sure that the doors between the rooms with the open windows are all open. This will help create a mini pressure system in your home, pulling cooler air in and pushing the hotter air out via the fan. Bonus points if you can get that fan high up where the hot air rises; even within a single room the top is much hotter than the air by the floor. Adjust the amount of open windows based on how many fans you have, but generally you want more windows with fans open than windows without fans to keep the pressure correct.
Obviously, use your common sense for these. Not everything WILL work for you, just use the stuff that does and adjust what needs to be adjusted. Some of these will be impossible to use in the workplace but others you can still use. Others are best used at home. If humidity impacts your ability to use any of these, get a dehumidifier if that's an option, or use more ice instead of evaporation.
Also keep in mind that the skinnier you are, the faster these will work. More fat means more insulation, means more heat, so you may need to be more patient with some of these or use them in combination.
Bringing this back for my dying mutuals
bring out the rotating tiger
so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

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my cat just came up and meowed very loudly and insistently and even nipped at my leg and when i was like "FINE" and got up to follow her she led me to the next room where a patch of sun was coming in. she wanted me to sit in the sun with her.
myah
Ahhhh oh my god Incredible art, thank you my love!
Also she literally just did it again
sunbathe with her Or Else
"Come Get some Vitamin D, bitch, I'm doing this for our mental wellness!!" -Your cat provably
You'll have a sandwich
By RĂŠmich
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO LOOK AT MORE OF THE ARTIST'S WORK ON HER INSTAGRAM, IT'S AMAZING
Chat, is it considered âabusive roommate behaviorâ to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)
For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called âPrincess Timeâ where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and Iâd quickly clean that stuff up.
So like, if Iâm expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed âtrashâ by the trash panda and thrown away.
We havenât done since we moved into the house, because I didnât want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon
I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.
I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.
Those vibes are likely because Iâm the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao
My edo period samurai roommate keeps telling me how iâll bring shame and dishonor to our apartment if I keep forgetting to wash the dishes. Like whatever dude, Iâm not the one carrying on a passionate yet illicit affair with the daimyoâs daughter whose hand has already been promised to another.
ăă大ĺăŤăçăŤçłă訳ăăăăžăăă§ăăăă¨č¨ăăžăăăďźă¨ăăĺăŻăćăŽćľŽć°ăĺ ŹčĄăŤćăăăŞăă¨č¨ăăžăăďźďź
Bullshit dude last night I saw you texting O-Sumire haikus comparing her to the flower which gives her her name
This is universal. This comedy transcends time and language.
Hes right
#my guy lost knife priviledges real fast

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thinking about atla if fire extinguishers existed
zuko: h-
the gaang with extinguishers ready: i think the fuck not
heâs a firebender!
love how we all cried for jet back in the day and now we meming him
au where jet doesnât find out that zuko and iroh are fire nation and when he runs into the gaang he goes âoh by the way this is my new friend lee. we met on the ferry ride over here!â and the gaang and zuko just like awkwardly stare at each other for a really long time
I love it
*in everyoneâs minds*
Zuko: Maybe if I just keep up my persona, theyâll believe Iâm someone else⌠Okay, thatâs stupid, but what choice do I have?
Aang: âŚMaybe if we just pretend weâve never met before heâll stay nice and we can all keep the peace.
Katara: If he lifts one hand against us, I will freeze them both.
Sokka: Please be a coincidence. Please be a coincidence. Please be a coincidence. Please be a coinci-
Toph: Why is he so scared? Is he shy? Why is Katara so upset? Why is Aang freaking out? Why is Sokka so irritated? And now Jetâs freaking out.
Jet: Do- do they not like him? Do they not like him because heâs my friend? Do they still hate me? Do they hate him because of me? Lee looks like heâs about to pass out? Is he okay?
This needs to be a fic
ACTUALLY SCREAMING
Toph to Iroh: oh hey, youâre that really old guy who gave me tea once
Everyone else: ????
My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying
Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"
4 year old me: why must we do this
Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"
4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

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Harley Quinn who recently kidnapped Bruce Wayne and texted Scarecrow to meet her: "Alright Brucie Boy, you're probably wondering why I kidnapped you, and don't worry! It's not for anything "villainous" or the like. You might not remember it but I remember me and you being in med school together along with Crane and I thought we could form a club since we never got to start one in school since you dipped in the middle of the year!"
Scarecrow who just walked in: "That's seriously why we're here? I thought you needed my help. You said it was urgent."
Harley holding up a tote bag: "It is urgent! I made t-shirts and I need to know if they fit!"
Bruce who honestly just wanted a nap: "Let's just see the shirts Quinzel."
Scarecrow: You're actually going along with this!?"
Bruce raising a brow and looking down at the rooes that are binding him to a chair: "I don't have much of a choice..."
Scarecrow: "...Fair point. Okay Harley show us the shirts."
Harley pulls out a crop top shirt proudly, it's half red, half black that has 'OFFICIAL FUCK FREUD CLUB' on the chest: "I got em personalized! Bruce gets a black turtleneck because he was the soft goth boy in med school and he's still a little goth baby. John you get a flannel that has the sayin' on the back! Aren't they cute?"
Bruce remembering how much he hated Freud and having to listen to his methods and ideas in school, and how he, Harley, and John would shit talk him in their study group: "Okay I actually love this idea and the shirts."
Scarecrow trying to hide how touched he is: "You got me flannel?"
Scarecrow, after 3 hours of group bitching: I still cant believe you're willing to do this- Harleen and I are Super Villains now!
Bruce, having been untied and drinking the Irish coffee Harly brought out: A) I have never had any sense of self preservation-
Harley: Which we remember vividly!
Bruce: -and B) I run a multimillion dollar company while having at least 5 kids; you dont know how much chaos I have to put up with on a daily basis. This is a vacation by comparison.
Harley: Wait - what do you mean by "at least" 5 kids???
Bruce: I do not adopt these children. They adopt me.
Harley: Okay you have to be bullshitting me.
Bruce: One day a blonde one named Stephanie just showed up at my house with my middle child saying they were dating, they broke up like a month later but she hasnât left yet.
Harley: ...honey Iâm pretty sure thatâs a home invasion-
Bruce: I mean my butler did give her a room and I offered to adopt her, but she refused that...however sheâs still there and stealing my coffee every week so I donât know.
Harley: ...why-
Bruce: Her Fatherâs Cluemaster.
Harley: Oh FUCK that guy. Yeah, give that poor sweetie some hugs and a college education, stat.
Harley: *pulls out a massive fucking psychology textbook*
Harley: In the meantime letâs talk about your rampant abandonment issues and repressed desire for a family!
Bruce: Oh christ not again.
Scarecrow: Finally! Time to get to the fun part!
Harley knows full well that Bruce is Batman but enjoys the game too much to ruin it by saying anything out loud.
Scarecrow still has no idea, and does not notice the striking similarity between the array of orphans at Wayne Manor and the costumed children running around the city with weapons every night.
Meanwhile, Iâm over here in the corner, wondering why a bunch of random Tumblrites are writing better Bruce Wayne stories better than anything since Dini...
'cause neither understanding of a franchise and its characters nor creative talent is bestowed by a paycheck, nor are they the first things IP owners look for when they need someone new to come on board.