Perturabo “What species?” Perturabo asks.

“Any worm.”

“That isn’t sufficient information.”

“It’s just a question.”

“The conditions determine the answer.” Perturabo requires data. Are you an earthworm? A parasitic worm? A giant alien worm? Do you retain human cognition? Can you communicate? Was the transformation deliberate? Can it be reversed? You tell him he is thinking too hard and he becomes offended. “You have presented me with a logistical problem and now object to its proper examination.”

He builds you a worm habitat capable of surviving orbital bombardment, it has climate control, nutrient monitoring, automated soil rotation and six redundant life support systems.

You ask whether that means yes.

“Obviously.” Perturabo crosses his arms.

“Then why didn’t you just say that?”

“Because love does not exempt one from adequate planning.”

Jaghatai  “A worm?” Jaghatai understands the question perfectly but refuses to let you win easily “Would you still complain when I travelled too quickly?”

“I’m a worm.”

“That has never stopped you from complaining before.” He smiles. “Yes, I would love you but I would place you in a small pouch and carry you with me because worms are slow and I am not.”

Russ “Why are you a worm?” Russ frowns.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Did Magnus do it?”

“No.”

“Then who?”

“Nobody, it's hypothetical.”

“Oh.” He squints at you then suddenly realizes what you are actually asking. “You want to know whether I would still choose you if you were helpless, strange and unable to offer me anything.” His expression softens. “Yes, little worm, I would keep you close. I would guard you from birds, frost boots and foolish men.” He then spends the rest of the day calling you ‘my little worm’ in front of everyone. You regret asking.

Dorn  “Yes.” Dorn answers literally and sincerely

“You wouldn’t be upset?”

“I would be concerned.”

“But you would still love me?”

“Yes.”

“What would you do?”

“Construct an appropriate habitat.” Dorn immediately begins listing practical requirements. He doesn’t mock the question and simply accepts that his beloved is now a worm and begins arranging defences.

“That’s very romantic.”

“It’s basic responsibility.”

Konrad Curze “If you were a worm?” Curze looks at you with enormous, unblinking eyes. “Soft and defenseless, buried beneath the earth, surrounded by larger things waiting to devour you and unable to scream.” He leans closer. “I would know you, I would know which trembling little thing was mine.”

Sanguinius “Yes.” Sanguinius answers before the question is even finished. “I would love you in every shape. I would miss your voice, your hands and your smile but I wouldn’t mistake loss for an end to love.” He smiles with unbearable tenderness. “I would keep you safe in the gardens.”

Ferrus “No.” Ferrus frowns. “Because you wouldn’t be a worm.”

“That isn’t the point.”

“Then the question is defective.”

“It is supposed to test whether your love is unconditional.”

“Why not ask that?”

“Because this is funnier.”

Ferrus stares at you as though humour itself is a structural weakness until he realizes you are genuinely waiting for reassurance.“If some force reduced you to a worm, I would still love you. I would also locate whoever caused it and crush them.”

“Thank you.”

“But I would prefer you did not become a worm.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Good.” He considers the matter settled forever.

Angron “Who called you a worm?” Angron’s expression changes immediately. “Who made you think I would stop loving you?”

“It’s only a joke.”

Angron understands the emotional insecurity underneath the question and it makes him furious at the possibility that you might doubt him. “You could be wounded, changed, broken, silent or helpless. You would still be you and if anyone stepped on you, I would kill them.”

“What about birds?”

“I would kill the birds.”

“All birds?”

“All birds within reach.”

You explain that birds are an important part of the ecosystem but Angron is unmoved. The skies are no longer safe.

Guilliman  “Yes, of course.” Guilliman recognizes the question, he saw it in archived social records and knows there is a socially appropriate response.

“That sounded rehearsed.”

“It wasn’t rehearsed.”

“You knew the answer before I asked.”

“I understood the likely intention.”

“You’re treating this like diplomacy.”

“I am not.” (He absolutely is.)

Mortarion “A worm in the soil living among rot and decay?” Mortarion looks suspiciously pleased by the concept.

“Yes.”

“You might be better adapted than most.” He studies you for a moment then recognizes the hurt hidden behind the absurdity. “I would.”

“You would what?”

“Still love you.” He sounds almost annoyed that you made him say it aloud. “I would keep you somewhere dark and damp.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“It is what worms require.”

Magnus the Red “What an intriguing problem.” Magnus’s eye brightens, already taking it far too seriously. “If consciousness remains intact despite radical physical transmutation then the soul must maintain continuity independent of neurological structure-”

“Magnus.”

“Alternatively, perhaps the worm body develops a psychic essence capable of housing your existing identity-”

“Magnus, it’s a yes or no question.”

“It is absolutely not.”

Soon Magnus is surrounded by floating books, he begins investigating transformation rituals, reincarnation, biomancy and the metaphysics of personhood.

“Would you love me?”

He looks genuinely startled that this was ever in doubt. “Of course.”

“Then why all this?”

“Because I intend to reverse it.”

He spends the next three weeks trying to prevent an event that was never going to happen.

Horus “A worm?” Horus laughs warmly. “My love, I would recognize you if you were hidden among ten thousand worms.”

“How?”

“You would be the one causing trouble.” He smiles. “Yes, I would still love you. I would carry you in my pocket during councils and ask for your advice.”

“I couldn’t talk.”

“You would find a way to express disapproval.”  Horus understands the question, reassures you and makes you laugh without making you feel foolish. You almost forget that he could probably convince an entire expeditionary fleet to love him as a worm too.

Lorgar “Reduced from your present form yet retaining the essence of your soul...” Lorgar begins composing a sermon about love transcending flesh, the sacred humility of crawling creatures and the divine significance of transformation. Minutes later he finally returns to the original question. “Yes. I would love you.”

“Thank you.”

“I might even love you more profoundly, for your suffering would reveal-”

Vulkan “But worms are very small and easily harmed.” Vulkan looks worried and is immediately concerned for your safety. “And many people don't watch where they walk.”

“Vulkan, it isn’t real.”

“I would make you a garden, a safe one with rich soil and small shelters.” He has already lifted you carefully, as if you might transform at any moment.

“And you’d visit me?”

“Every day.”

“Would you talk to me?”

“Of course.”

“What would you say?”

“The same things I say now.”

Corvus Corax “Yes.” Corax’s answer is immediate and quiet. “A change of shape wouldn’t erase what you meant to me. I would place you somewhere hidden and where no one could find you.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“For protection.”

“Would you visit?”

“At night.”

“Why only at night?”

He doesn’t answer.

Alpharius Omegon “You are already a worm.” Alpharius looks at you calmly.

“What?”

“Exactly.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“No.”

He refuses to explain.

Omegon enters five minutes later and you ask him the same question.

“Of course I would.”

“He said I’m already a worm.” You point accusingly toward Alpharius.

Omegon nods thoughtfully. “Then the question has already been answered.”