I’d love to see the Primarchs playing D&D, one entry for them as a player and another for them as a DM
For now let's go with...
Primarchs DMing a TTRPG campaign
Lion El’Jonson The Lion runs a deadly serious dark fantasy campaign with ancient orders and knights who refuse to explain anything until session 47. He gives the party a simple quest like investigating an abandoned keep and hours later the players have uncovered three conspiracies, two false kings and a door that only opens if someone confesses their greatest shame. If the players try to derail the story he simply stares in silence until they realize there is only one honorable path.
Fulgrim He runs the most beautiful campaign anyone has ever seen with painted minis, ambient music and a villain that has better hair than the entire party. Fulgrim cares deeply about aesthetics and is constantly asking players to describe their actions with more elegance and details. He also absolutely writes tragic romance arcs for every npcs, the party can’t buy bread without meeting a beautiful baker with a doomed past and hopeful eyes.
Perturabo His campaign is mechanically flawless and emotionally hostile. He built the entire setting from scratch. The economy works, the roads have accurate travel times and the home brew rules are 87 pages long. The players try to bypass a fortress and Perturabo smiles. This is how they discover he has calculated sightlines, artillery arcs and the psychological profile of the quartermaster. No one has fun in the usual sense but everyone feels like they survived something real.
Jaghatai He runs a fast and chaotic campaign where the party can go anywhere and consequences arrive at full gallop. There’s no long lore dump, there is only the horizon, a rumor and a warlord who insulted the wrong grandmother. His sessions are mostly chase scenes, duels on cliffs and rolling initiative before anyone understands what is happening. The players love it because he never says no, they may do what they want and the world reacts… that’s when he throws seventeen mounted raiders at them.
Russ He runs a campaign that begins as heroic fantasy and becomes a bar fight. His notes are mostly ale stains and monster names like Big Bastard Wolf Thing. He doesn’t care about exact rules unless they make the moment funnier. A player asks if they can suplex the ogre and Russ tells them to roll with advantage because he loves that idea. There is always a feast, a drinking contest and one npc who is clearly just Russ in a fake mustache.
Dorn He runs a well balanced campaign with clear maps and consistent rules. The quest board is organized by threat level. Sessions start on time and end on time. His dungeons are masterpieces but unfortunately he has no patience for nonsense. “I seduce the dragon.” Dorn: “No.” “Can I at least roll?” Dorn: “No.” “But-” Dorn: “The dragon eats you.”
Konrad Curze He runs a horror campaign. The players enter a village and everyone is smiling too much. The children know their names, the church bell rings from underground, the mayor has no shadow… The session ends with the party realizing the monster has been copying their voices since session one. His campaigns are brilliant but nobody sleeps afterward.
Sanguinius Sanguinius runs a beautiful and tragic campaign where every player character matters. He remembers everyone’s backstory and gives each player emotional arcs. His villains are sympathetic. If the party adopts a random goblin by next session that goblin has a name, dreams and a tragic lost sibling. Everyone is deeply invested.
Ferrus He runs a brutal and practical campaign. He likes crafting systems, survival rules, equipment durability and enemies that hit hard because that’s what weapons do. He believes consequences are good for character development. His npc blacksmiths are incredible, the magic items are rare, useful and require three quests and a forge hotter than sin.
Angron He runs a combat heavy campaign where the answer to every problem is violence. His combats are intense, bloody and surprisingly emotionally cathartic. He is terrible at political intrigue because every corrupt noble has approximately six minutes to live. If the party spares an enemy Angron remembers it and three sessions later that npc dies heroically and everyone is devastated.
Roboute Guilliman Guilliman runs the most organized campaign in human history. There is a setting document, a glossary and a spreadsheet for loot. His campaign is actually excellent but he does start session zero with a 14 pages long intro. The party groans but three sessions later they are passionately arguing about grain tariffs in the eastern duchies because somehow Guilliman made municipal policy compelling.
Mortarion He runs a miserable swamp campaign where every village is dying of something and the healing potions taste like grave water. There’s an underlying horror element that gets the players hooked. They hate being there but they need to know what happened.
Magnus the Red He runs a lore heavy arcane campaign where every object has a history and every symbol matters. The players enter a room and Magnus describes the room for twelve minutes, the rug alone has a dynastic backstory. His puzzles are brilliant but insane, the party spends two hours solving a magical door that requires knowledge of an empire mentioned once in session two. Magnus insists the clues were obvious. He also allows wild magical creativity, which is very fun until someone accidentally rewrites causality.
Horus Horus is a terrifyingly charismatic DM. He makes every player feel like the main character, he knows exactly when to challenge and reward them. His villains are charming… so are the kings, demons and cursed swords. The campaign starts as heroic fantasy until slowly the players realize they have been making morally questionable choices for months because Horus made every bad idea sound reasonable.
Lorgar He runs religious fantasy with prophecy, saints and gods that may or may not be listening. He writes beautiful monologues, every npc speaks like they are being quoted in an actual scripture and the innkeeper can’t tell you the room price without saying something haunting about hunger and divinity. His players either love it or beg him to make one normal blacksmith.
Vulkan Vulkan runs the coziest campaign with the most emotionally devastating stakes. The party starts in a warm village full of lovable npcs but then danger strikes and the party fights like demons because they love this little village. Vulkan believes heroism matters most when there is something worth protecting also he makes snacks for the entire table.
Corvus Corax Corvus runs stealth rebellion and resistance campaigns. The party are outlaws and revolutionaries fighting a brutal empire. His cities have secret tunnels, coded messages and morally complicated informants. He is very good at giving players freedom, sometimes the party spends three sessions planning a prison break and he simply sits there in silence letting them become paranoid. His villains are oppressive systems rather than single baddies.
Alpharius Omegon Nobody knows who is DMing. One twin starts the session and the other finishes it. The players don’t notice until an npc contradicts something from two hours ago and both DMs smile. The campaign has conspiracies, false identities and a villain who might be them from the future. Every player receives private messages but none of the received info match. At some point the party realizes they may have been working for the final boss since session one.
