“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man

I don't want people who voted green to die, but I had to choose blue again, since we're not told what happens if majority votes green. The first one said that everyone survives if the majority votes blue, but the second poll doesn't say the same thing about green. I'm forced to assume that this question is being asked by a evil trickster deity that is maliciously hiding the information of what happens if the majority votes green.

i never said that

Not to oversimplify a complex issue, but i think we could reduce the number of deadly car crashes by increasing wages and having shorter work weeks.

i cannot overstate how good it feels to watch older movies where the actors were still allowed to look kinda weird and not be conventionally attractive. like it is genuinely healing

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

When my students talk over me I do this bit where I quietly tell them I’m really shy and to please let me talk and somehow it works.

Why did we ever start yelling at kids when we could just let them be part of a bit, which is a kid’s favorite thing?

"why do you still bring up charlie kirk" because it's funny. his death is genuinely a running joke to me. you could say it's the greatest contribution he has made to society

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone