Somewhere It Hides a Well...

Master has given Dobby class consciousness

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

When people ask me how i am and i say “alright”, what i usually mean is “i’ve lost count of how many parts of my body are causing me immediate, chronic pain, but at least i’m able to stand upright at the moment”

Getting a $50 bed frame that gets your mattress off the floor will extend the life of your mattress. You sweat when you are sleeping and it seeps into the mattress. A lot of it evaporates from the surface, but some goes down in deeper. Over the years you could end up with mildew and rot at the bottom of your mattress. God forbid you have carpet under it, that would need replacing too. If your mattress has air flow under it, it will evaporate from both sides instead of mildewing.

I don’t think anyone ever told me why you get a mattress frame, that makes so much sense.

Also space under bed makes room for neighborhood monsters. They need a place to live, too. Don’t you want the monsters on your side?

Yes. I want monsters. On my…. >.> <.< ….side

from the waist down

Okay, I have space there, excellent NOW WHAT

Are you fucking serious omg

So I live in Scotland, a country with free universal healthcare, and this post made me curious about how much that actually costs us. Turns out, roughly 4% of our income tax goes to the National Health Service. For me that’s £10 a month. The equivalent of $13. I have spent more than that on a pizza.

This is literally the argument I use the most