STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WAS STILL ABLED...

It's not always obvious what's wrong.

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Hi, Doctor. I'm tired. Like, all the time.

No. All the time. I wake up exhausted. I fall asleep at work. I fall asleep in the shower. I'm scared to drive.

No, Doctor. You don't understand. I'm not 'sleepy.' Not 'drowsy.' I'm tired in my bones. My blood feels heavy. The weight of my head hurts my neck. I can't think sometimes--I forget how to read--i get lost in familiar places! I say 'tired,' but I mean that 80% of my life, I feel like a sloppy heap of mud splattering and crumbling from too much moving, too much thinking, too much feeling, too much light, too much noise, too much everything. I'm confused and disoriented and like I'm in a terrible dream.

Oh.

That's a symptom of a lot of things?

Anemia. Migraine. Sleep apnea. Vitamin deficiency. Thyroid dysfunctions. Brain diseases. Heart diseases. Neurological disorders. Blood disorders. Autoimmune issues. Depression and other psychiatric conditions. Lifestyle choices: sleep, food, activity level. Environmental factors: mold, pollution, allergies.

There's a lot of testing to rule things out, huh? Could take years? Yes, I know it will be expensive. Yes, I accept that some of the tests will hurt. Yes, I commit to rearranging my eating/sleeping/exercising habits and seeing every recommended specialist.

Doctor, you don't understand. Either we find an answer, no matter how long it takes, or I am trapped outside of the world forever for no reason. Not testing won't make these horrible feelings stop.

Can you imagine feeling this way? Always? During your friends' birthdays? When your boss demands work? When you're home alone in the middle of the night trying to remember how the sink works? During the commute. During the shower. Taking out the trash. Feeding the cats. Staring at your bills. Talking with your family. For years... weddings, funerals, holidays, weekends, 4am, 4pm, when your loved ones need you, during every emergency, while you fail at your job, at your hobbies, at your relationships, at being your basic self?

Fuck, Yes! Doctor! Run! The! Tests! We are burning daylight!! Let's get this ball rolling! Journey of a thousand miles, begins with single step, etc!

I do want to feel better. This is not my imagination. It's not my fault. I am a reliable witness to my own life and I don't care how many tests 'come back normal.' Those must be the wrong tests to find what's haywire. I know something is wrong and even if we can't fix it, I must understand it.

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I'm now in year 7 of trying to improve my situation. I know so much more about my conditions than I did. I am getting help. I still don't have a full picture. I'm still disabled.

But it's not like it was.

Please. Don't give up. Diagnosis can take years. Some people never get a firm answer. Regardless, you will learn ways to cope. You will meet people who help you cope. Don't give up on yourself. You are worth the effort.

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Seems like something we should all know.

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Danish: arbejdsglæde (the happiness that comes from work)

Dutch: uitwaaien (to walk in the wind to clear one’s head)

Finnish: kalsarikännit (to get drunk at home in one’s underwear)

German: Kummerspeck (excess weight due to emotional problems), verschlimmbessern (to make something worse [by trying to improve it]), Waldeinsamkeit (the enlightened, sublime feeling that can come from being alone in the woods), Warmduscher (wimp, literally “one who showers with warm water”)

Hungarian: donaldkacsázás (to wear a shirt, but not pants or underpants; literally “to pull a Donald Duck”)

Icelandic: sólarfrí (to be unexpectedly let off to enjoy a warm summer day)

Italian: abbiocco (drowsiness after a heavy meal)

Japanese: 上げー囮 [age-otori] (to look worse after a haircut than before), バックーしゃん [bakku-shan] (a woman who looks beautiful from behind, but optically disappoints from the front)

Norwegian: utepils (the happiness of drinking a beer outside in the sun)

(Brazilian) Portuguese: cafuné (the gesture of stroking a loved one’s hair)

Spanish: sobremesa (time spent talking at the table after a meal)

Swedish: lagom (not too much, not too little)

As a final goodbye, Blue Sky Studios came together and gave Scrat a send off on their own terms.

So that’s awesome. Are these more well-known in other parts of the world? This tweet is the first I’ve heard of them.

Desc:

It cost $5,000 in 1888 to have this painting made, which is more than $120,000 in today’s money.

I say 1888 because it took three years for Kahler to complete, reportedly because he spent most of the time studying and sketching each cat to get a feel for their personality.

It was painted for Kate Johnson, the title was her husband’s idea though, proving him the most patient and good-humored husband in the history of crazy cat ladies.

Speaking of cat ladies, the picture actually contains 42 cats. Or more specifically, Mrs. Johnson’s 42 most favorite cats. She had 350 in total.

It sold at auction via Sotheby’s a few days ago for over $800,000 dollars, vastly more than its $200,000-$300,000 estimate.

The buyer is a private collector in California.

Probably someone who really, really likes cats.

"finally some quiet" relatable exclamation

Behold, the digital artchery glove!

….but Wait…

…….!!!