Where's your degree in Mermaid Science?

hi I’m the guy that made that post. Yours is funnier

fujoing out is the only way we're gonna get through any of this btw. its all we have left

The one thing about liking MCR is that yes you have the best day of your life multiple times a year but then when you're in a good mood someone will try to make conversation by asking why and then you either have to come up with some lie about a normal thing or you have to be like Ok, so,

Basically there's this band called My Chemical Romance that I've loved since I was twelve and for a long time they were broken up and then after they reunited they weren't doing any fan events and being mostly very quiet which is of course fine. So basically the last album they ever put out just got a remaster celebrating the anniversary of its release and as part of that, the band hosted a listening party in London where they're currently playing concerts. Now on the flyer they posted for that event there was text saying that it would feature DJs "Party Poison" and "Kobra Kid". In the lore built around the album they're celebrating, those names were the alter egos of two of the members, the bassist and vocalist, the latter of which is an EXTREMELY private person. So there was all this speculation and a sense of being afraid to hope for anything because it seemed staggeringly unlikely they would be there. Today the event happens and after the album playthrough, the band members DO show up to surprise everyone and play a DJ set, marking the first fan event the vocalist has attended in literal years. The music they chose was extremely strange and closed with a song from Wind in the Willows. Anyway, how was your morning, I heard the coffeemaker was having issues earlier

saw a guy wearing a shirt that was just the Star Wars logo and I'm trying to imagine the kind of person who would so broadly identify with the Star Wars media brand in Current Year

imagining a guy walking around with a time warner t-shirt

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

What. What. What. What.

im gonna pop some.tag

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

That last paragraph HAUNTS me. How am I supposed to sleep at night picturing Paul Hollywood — sobbing, hands trembling — alone in his kitchen, gingerly rubbing the edges of a salad bowl with a single clove of unskinned garlic, wondering if he will ever be brave enough to do the same to a roast chicken?

No wonder Dracula wanted to come to England

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

there’s very few things that drive me up the wall in fandom as much as this weird new assumption that fandom is primarily a space for younger people that older folks are only accepted into in a trial basis if they promise to centralize and accommodate younger fans, and further, anything else is creepy and predatory. IT’S OKAY FOR ADULTS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR OTHER ADULTS.

if I have to read “women in their 30s” used as an insult one more time I swear I’ll - step away from that user and just hang out with the other grownups who consistently create good content because I’m also an adult and too busy comparing car insurance to fight with teenagers on the internet, but goddAMMIT I’ll be annoyed

I’ve been in this hole since yall lil shits were three apples tall and I’ll die in this hole too

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."