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How to Fake It in Society by KJ Charles is m/m historical romance at its finest—featuring a con man and his target. The yearning! (Oh, the yearning.) Dealing with manners and societal expectations! The fascinating facts interwoven throughout! There are secrets and schemes, fashion and dastardly villains, and so much more. Did I mention the yearning? Or what happens when they give into said yearning?
WHAT’S IT ABOUT
It is 1821, and Titus Pilcrow, a simple seller of paints, finds himself suddenly bestowed with a great fortune. Titus becomes a target of every scammer in London...including one Nicolas-Marc, Comte de Valois de La Motte. When Titus offers Nico a space in his household, it's the perfect chance for Nico to exploit London's newest golden purse—until he falls in love with the man he needs to cheat.
The Comte was there the next morning as promised, in a coat of intense green. It suited him wonderfully and Titus glanced at it a few times as they walked together to Brook Street, enjoying the sunshine.
“I hope you admire my colour?” the Comte remarked quizzically.
“It is an excellent colour, in itself and on you.” He couldn’t resist making the compliment, because it was exquisitely true: The green was a perfect foil to the Comte’s dark hair, and set off his bronzed eyes in a way that made Titus shudder with pleasure. Honesty forced him to go on. “I just wondered, do you know it’s Scheele’s green?”
He got a bright-eyed glance. “Who is Scheele, and what is his green?”
“A chemist: he invented it. I wasn’t sure if you knew what it’s made of.”
“An Indian tree? A sea-creature, like the famous purple?”
“Murex. No. No, it’s copper arsenite.”
“Arsenite—” The Comte stopped short. “Arsenic?”
“It’s just that you seemed rather shocked by orpiment, so I thought you might want to know.”
“I might indeed have liked to know that, and before I bought it,” the Comte said with feeling. “Is there—I ask merely for information—is there any colour that is not made of poison, ear wax, vomit, or death?”
“Oh, many,” Titus assured him. “Well, some. It’s just that the best colours do tend to be—”
“Of course they do. The colour is all. Scheele makes his green and cares nothing for the consequence. It is safe to wear, I suppose?”
“Uh . . .”
“What?” the Comte snapped, somehow sounding rather less French than usual.
“Many people do wear it. It’s wonderfully popular as a dye and a paint for all sorts of uses. It’s just, I might avoid”—Titus mimed brushing the front of his coat—“with your hands. Or wash them before you eat.”
“Before I—” The Comte’s mouth moved silently. “I’m wearing arsenic. My tailor sold me arsenic.”
“It is very popular,” Titus repeated. “And it’s really the only way to get that excellent green.”
The Comte said something emphatic in French. A passing governess recoiled.
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The one thing about liking MCR is that yes you have the best day of your life multiple times a year but then when you're in a good mood someone will try to make conversation by asking why and then you either have to come up with some lie about a normal thing or you have to be like Ok, so,
Basically there's this band called My Chemical Romance that I've loved since I was twelve and for a long time they were broken up and then after they reunited they weren't doing any fan events and being mostly very quiet which is of course fine. So basically the last album they ever put out just got a remaster celebrating the anniversary of its release and as part of that, the band hosted a listening party in London where they're currently playing concerts. Now on the flyer they posted for that event there was text saying that it would feature DJs "Party Poison" and "Kobra Kid". In the lore built around the album they're celebrating, those names were the alter egos of two of the members, the bassist and vocalist, the latter of which is an EXTREMELY private person. So there was all this speculation and a sense of being afraid to hope for anything because it seemed staggeringly unlikely they would be there. Today the event happens and after the album playthrough, the band members DO show up to surprise everyone and play a DJ set, marking the first fan event the vocalist has attended in literal years. The music they chose was extremely strange and closed with a song from Wind in the Willows. Anyway, how was your morning, I heard the coffeemaker was having issues earlier
saw a guy wearing a shirt that was just the Star Wars logo and I'm trying to imagine the kind of person who would so broadly identify with the Star Wars media brand in Current Year
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"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.
This screenshot from a gardening Facebook group has been on my phone for several years and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to delete it. Apparently it comes from a British gardening book from the 80s. I know we all joke that the English are afraid of flavor, but I assure you, you are not prepared for this.
GARLIC
Until quite recently, scientists smiled at all the wonderful medicinal powers claimed for garlic, but recent research has shown that there is some truth in a few of the old wives' tales. Garlic, of course, has an important role in Continental but not in British cookery — it really isn't worth growing unless you are a fan.
Any well-drained spot will do. Buy a head of garlic from the greengrocer or supermarket and split it up into individual cloves. Plant them 2 in. deep and 6 in. apart in March. Apart from watering in dry weather there is nothing else to do until the foliage turns yellow in July or August. Lift the bulbs and allow to dry under cover, then store in a cool, frost-free place.
If you are a beginner with garlic, you must use it very sparingly or you will be put off for ever. Rub a wooden salad bowl with a clove before adding the ingredients. Rub the skin of poultry before roasting and then you can try dropping a whole unskinned clove into a casserole or stew, removing it before serving. If by then you have lost a little of your garlic fear, you can try using crushed (not chopped) garlic in meat etc. as the Continentals do.
That last paragraph HAUNTS me. How am I supposed to sleep at night picturing Paul Hollywood — sobbing, hands trembling — alone in his kitchen, gingerly rubbing the edges of a salad bowl with a single clove of unskinned garlic, wondering if he will ever be brave enough to do the same to a roast chicken?
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when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me
there’s very few things that drive me up the wall in fandom as much as this weird new assumption that fandom is primarily a space for younger people that older folks are only accepted into in a trial basis if they promise to centralize and accommodate younger fans, and further, anything else is creepy and predatory. IT’S OKAY FOR ADULTS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR OTHER ADULTS.
if I have to read “women in their 30s” used as an insult one more time I swear I’ll - step away from that user and just hang out with the other grownups who consistently create good content because I’m also an adult and too busy comparing car insurance to fight with teenagers on the internet, but goddAMMIT I’ll be annoyed
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