Where's your degree in Mermaid Science?

hi I’m the guy that made that post. Yours is funnier

Adding brushing and flossing!

one of my favourite human songs-and-dances is when someone notices someone else is lying and, for no particular reason besides love of the game, helps them get away with the lie without ever explicitly acknowledging they noticed. nightmare social animals.

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

don’t take my defeatism too seriously I will always begin again and again no matter what

I might sound miserable most of the time but at my core I’m a very hopeful person

How the trip feels when you leave your cat at home

I'm always baffled by how people look at me when I say wages should go up the same as inflation each year automatically. Why is it such a wild concept for people? Companies are allowed to charge more but I still have the same amount of money and can afford less and less. Why do people act like it's such a radical idea? To me that is the bare fucking minimum.

That’s going to be expensive!