Where's your degree in Mermaid Science?

hi I’m the guy that made that post. Yours is funnier

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

I Think the cupcake would be made with cilantro. Do I know any recipes that use cilantro to make Cupcakes? No, but I feel it in my heart.

No wait hold on, I just realised I got this wrong. The opposite of a soap that looks exactly like a delicious cupcake is actually a regular cupcake that tastes like a normal delicious cupcake but is shaped (and scented?) like a hand soap.

Thagomizer or not, it'd probably still be about as peaceful as other large herbivores in the class - the cape buffalo, or the joyful hippopotamus.

My dad read me stuff like the lord of the rings and the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Sherlock Holmes as bedtime stories when I was a kid and I dunno what sort of effect that had on my development but whatever it did I think I’m making it everyone else’s problem

Reading chapter books one chapter a night to his kids was I think also an excuse for my dad to read some books he’d never gotten around to reading by himself. Did he know how sexual the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series can possibly get? No. We learned that together as a family.

My dad read me stuff like the lord of the rings and the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Sherlock Holmes as bedtime stories when I was a kid and I dunno what sort of effect that had on my development but whatever it did I think I’m making it everyone else’s problem

Reading chapter books one chapter a night to his kids was I think also an excuse for my dad to read some books he’d never gotten around to reading by himself. Did he know how sexual the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series can possibly get? No. We learned that together as a family.

the fact that at the council of elrond glorfindel is like “just throw the ring into the ocean” is so funny to me after reading the silmarillion just because it feels like the subtext is him being like “yeah let’s try maglor’s patented and tested method: Just Yeet The Accursed Fucking Thing Into The Water”

#in fairness they do do literally the other fëanorion approved method of magical item disposal #glorfindel: we could do like maglor and throw it in the ocean? #elrond: no we’re doing like maedhros and jumping into a volcano via @lesbianlanval

Those…those really are the four methods aren’t they?

Listen, Boromir knows 1 (one) ancient elven story and damn it, he’s going to ride that horse until it dies.

Adding brushing and flossing!