wonder how zac oyama feels being thee funniest mf

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

t shirt that says I PUT A NORMAL AMOUNT OF THOUGHT INTO STUFF

"Employment" big scam. Big scam to distract You from what matters,posting on Ur tumblr blog at 3am

I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

skips a stone over a few posts

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

"why do you still bring up charlie kirk" because it's funny. his death is genuinely a running joke to me. you could say it's the greatest contribution he has made to society

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

Oh please, misinformation was my mother. You can just call me information.