Wii is the best console

this is honestly such a good idea

Signal boost.....

the word 'swim' is doing a lot of heavy work here

Not half as much as the audio is

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

I read this aloud to my roommate and he thought I was having a stroke

‎

All ten of my followers are actually hostages I have tied up in an abandoned grain silo & am monologuing to

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit