if i think of baby swordfish again i’m gonna be sent into a coughing fit

i was walking to ensemble class and this dhdhdkdjjdid CAR pulls up and rolls down the driver’s window and im like… right ok. and this middle aged man with a foreign accent greets me with “you know, you look really kind!” and i’m like?? thanks!? and hes like “yeah i like to say that to people who look kind. not many do.” and then he points at himself and is like “do *i* look kind to you? many people tell me i don’t!” and i’m like no you look kind to me!!? and he LAUGHS and says “well i’m actually mean!” and DRIVES OFF??????????

Petition to replace all catcalling with whatever this is

this one’s a keeper

I have queued this since June 19th

Me as a husband

Happy birthday

SIGH

IT GETS WORSE WITH EVERY ADDITION

how does this get even worse

omg

This has been in my queue for months.

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

This is so amazing

oh heck I forgot to reblob this this year.

fuckk off why is this the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen??

people in fanfiction are so good at identifying v specific smells. I literally struggle to identify vanilla when I’m sniffing a candle labelled “VANILLA” how are these kids getting woodsmoke, rain, mint, and a whiff of byronic despair from a fuckin tshirt

Once I read a fic where they were like “he tasted like” and I’m expecting the typical formula (1 cooking ingredient + 1 natural phenomenon + “something uniquely [character name]”) but instead they said “he tasted like mouth” and it was one of the greatest fic moments of my life

*if ur on moble screenshot it

non-confrontational cowboy that wont turn around after the 10 paces

he just breaks into a sprint and nobody has ever been able to hit him because he serpentines so well