Dream job: printer repair guy

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

[guy confused about lesbian relationship voice]: okay ... so which one only tells lies?

here 🕳 have a void to scream into

One might even say there's a vas deferens between the two

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

“Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.” ― C.S. Lewis

Please for the love of god. You should be able to change controls WITHOUT TAKING YOUR EYES OF THE ROAD. There is no reason to have to look at a SCREEEN while DRIVING

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.

AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER COMES FROM DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND

Mr. Pretty from Dildo, Newfoundland photographed a Giant Penis Shaped Iceberg

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"