"if you are over 30 on Tumblr the mental illness won" "the aging fanbase of Tumblr" motherfucker if you are over 30 and have been here the entire time it means the mental illness didn't win we are still alive WE MADE IT

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@academicblorbo
"if you are over 30 on Tumblr the mental illness won" "the aging fanbase of Tumblr" motherfucker if you are over 30 and have been here the entire time it means the mental illness didn't win we are still alive WE MADE IT

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sometimes I wish I was a brainless internet poisoned 40 year old darkfic proshipper my god they all seem so happy
only boring ceo x secretary porn behind those eyes
Mafia boss x trophy woman coming from an enemy faction (so we can "justify" the hatred/violence) / King x princess from an enemy kingdom (so we can justify the vi-) / Professor x his student who doesn't "get" his tortured soul (so we can justif-) / Rugged highwayman x Runaway Princess (class warfare so we can jus-) /
It's kept woman all the way down
Sure Ilya gets his blood boiling whenever someone hits on Shane BUT what about when some woman inevitably hits on Ilya at a club - without knowing who he is or the NHL superstar/model he is married to - and the entire Centaurs team goes on DEFCON 1 because Shane is about to go nuclear and kill himself and everyone else in this club
The 2017 All-stars game in Tampa is the first time Shane experiences Ilya as a teammate and not an opponent who doesn't miss a chance to check him on the boards and immediately understands why Ilya's team is obsessed with him as Captain and sees how much love Ilya gives to his teammates and he also just witnessed Ilya with kids and no wonder he amassed all the bravery he could to go to Ilya and say "I want us to be together" with his entire chest
Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again
Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net
Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go
Shane has a competency kink and that includes Ilya being competent at chirping
Shane also has a degradation kink but nobody said it only has to be him that's being degraded 😂

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People who say Tierney “fixed” things they didn’t like in the books (so, like, everything) don’t realize that the vast majority of the changes were
Minor additions/tweaks (a handful of lines about Shane’s race)
Budget and time constraints (Sex Condo)
Cast (“Slow fucking hockey player” instead of “short” because Hudson and Connor as the same height)
Things drawn from his own experiences as a gay man (ass-eating earlier in the relationship)
Things that are on the page that look better on the screen for the sole reason of it being a visual medium (club, tunnel)
Oopsies (macrobiotic diet)
Some combination thereof
and not attempts to “fix” the source material that he very deeply loves and respects written by an author he considers a talented friend. Most of the script was lifted off the page.
And not all of these changes ended up being positive :)
Wait don't forget how he also "fixed" Yuna by making her an Asian Tiger Mom stereotype 😍
I'll say, the "fixes" I like the most have to do with the secondary characters like Svetlana and Sasha being more fleshed out and how they create a much more complex personal reality, especially for Ilya. He also took out that one tiny line about Ilya having fucked one of his brother's girlfriends (!!!) because Ilya might be a fuckboy but he is much more likely to have stayed away from his brother and everything about him as possible, seeing as it is implied that he has abused Ilya before.
And then he directed (or at the very least, allowed) Hudson to play a much more sympathetic and less brass Shane. Like that Shane doesn't mind Ilya picking him up (which he hates in the books) or that during the beach scene in Tampa, Shane's reaction to their thumbs touching is to smile (while in the book he initially wants to recoil from it).
Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again
Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net
Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go
Ilya pointing and laughing: YOU SCORED A GOAL IN YOUR OWN TEAMS NET, YOU STUPID!
Everyone: HOLLONDER
Shane watching Ilya: 😍
Fun fact that player did not actually score a goal in his own team's net, but he made fun of Shane and his "strangeness" to some other players one time. And Shane found out.
And Shane waited for the right time to strike.
personal rant but there's a guy on TikTok who pretends he is a scholar of Ancient Greek language and culture and he is such a fucking dick because he is extremely condescending towards Greeks when they inevitably comment on his videos and explain that he is pronouncing shit wrong and he is like "oh Greeks not knowing what they are talking about? How surprising"
and like. He doesn't even know that yes, while Modern Greek is quite different to Ancient Greek, we do learn Ancient Greek at school FOR 6 FUCKING YEARS and it's considered one of the "heavy" classes and if you want to study humanities or social sciences you also take special Ancient Greek on top of the regular ones, for 2 years in a row.
What do we call it when someone is obsessed with a culture that isn't theirs but they despise the people of that culture? Someone who makes a living out of that culture but pretends they are somehow superior to the people?
"Ilya is the bad guy" "Shane is the bad guy" folks the only villain in the show is the fuckass bartender who told Shane he "can have whatever he wants" and then judged him for asking for ginger ale
disgusting
This is making the rounds again and i would like to add that the ginger ale is the only sugary thing Shane allows himself. Give my boy the damn soda
@sarah1281-takethree oh hell yeah but also Ilya would just whip out a can of ginger ale out of thin air. It's the Emergency Can™ he has with him at all times in case Shane needs it
You can't convince me that there's a bigger fan of "kidnapped by the mafia and forced to be the leader's sex pet" roleplaying than Shane Hollander

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Anyway. Heated Rivalry memes
Shane accidentally starts a Centaurs movie club. It starts when Shane is watching an x-squad movie while Ilya is asleep on the plane and Wyatt is sitting across the aisle. When the movie ends Wyatt asks Shane if he has ever read the comic which he hasn’t. So Wyatt starts talking about the comics and what is different in the movies. Shane isn’t a comic book kind of guy, but he does like listening to Wyatt and talking about some of the filming process that he knows from Rose. So Wyatt and Shane start watching movies, mostly superhero ones, together on road trips or on the plane if Ilya is sleeping. Then Shane catches a bit of a horror film Luca is watching in the bus in front of him so Shane asks him what the name of it was. Luca, Shane and Wyatt end up watching it together the next night and start rotating who gets to pick the movie. Eventually Evan joins when Shane invites him to watch an action film he knows Evan will like. And it slowly expands beyond hotel rooms and plane rides. The four of them go to the movie theater together or meet up at one of their houses. Some times their partners join because Lisa is never going to pass up the opportunity to watch a superhero movie if it fits in her schedule and Caitlin loves horror films as does Luca’s boyfriend, but Ilya joins the most. Mostly because he is actually on the road trips, but also because he will join no matter what movie they are watching. He prefers it to be a movie he won’t be interested in because then he will lay with his head in Shane’s lap and let Shane play with his hair half asleep. He always pays just enough attention so that Shane doesn’t catch on. (Shane knows what he is doing).
Ilya: I must be Careful and Sneaky, he can't know I'm not super interested in the film, he'll be hurt and I'd rather french kiss Roger Crowell than have Shane be sad
Shane: my husband pretends to be into something just to spend time with me I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK MY LUCKY STARS MY GUARDIAN ANGEL, WHOEVER IS UP THERE LOOKING OUT FOR ME
kitten I'll be honest mommy is sick of Marvel movies
Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again
Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net
Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go
holy shit

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Like magnets they keep finding each other.
One day Connor Storrie decided to get buff and the world hasn't seen peace since