My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

The great thing about Gus is that he perfectly oscillates from playing the annoyed straight man to Shawn’s general insanity to yes-anding to an insane degree. For every moment where he says no Shawn, you did not hear that both ways there’s a moment where he, with no prompting, claims that his fictitious grandmother with a broken hip was teaching a line dancing class. For every time he says Shawn, stop messing around at work, there is a time where after Shawn says he’s been “looking at the man in the mirror”, Gus, in a move that never ever fails to make me laugh, with a completely straight face and no impact on the conversation, does the Michael Jackson “he-he”. He’s insane. He thinks he’s normal. He does 11 point turns. He’s a sympathetic crier.

Yo mama the tin man

fun fact you may think MBTA stands for massachusetts bay transit authority but it does not. it actually stands for Mega Boston Totally Awesome

*eating balsamic that’s too strong* they laced my shit grand son

awareness of "the abused can become the abuser" is useless without the knowledge that abuse is a choice anyone makes that is made for self-benefit. recently I watched an interview on the psychology of domestic abuse and the woman who interviewed those who inflicted the abuse always made sure to ask "why didn't you take it further?" because the answer would always show the abuser hadn't simply lost control. for example one man said he pushed over his girlfriend but didn't kick her once she was down because he didn't want any noticeable bruising that caused suspicion. human psychology is much less poetic than you think. too many psychology enjoyers only enjoy the poetic